


As Dusk Falls

by Sheksper



Series: Do You Ever Feel a Strange Sadness as Dusk Falls? [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Baking, Blood and Injury, Divergent Timelines, Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Time Travel, Training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-30 15:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12655917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheksper/pseuds/Sheksper
Summary: Sometimes, things went wrong on missions. This was one of those times when things went wrong. Horribly wrong. Pidge blames herself. Shiro barely holds himself together. Hunk is a broken mess. Allura feels responsible. Coran can't stand to look anyone in the eye. Lance would give anything to fix this.And Keith is dead.Only, he also kind of isn't.





	1. All That's Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I've never written anything that seriously made me cry until this, but keep in mind I cry easy.  
> Either way, if you think this fic is going to start off casual and build itself up, then you're wrong. Prepare yourself.
> 
> Also, fun fact, the first chapter is the very first piece of fanfiction I had ever written in my life. It was part of a really complicated and rather ambitious fic idea that had a lot of holes, so I scrapped it and saved this until I came up with a different plot which I liked a little more.

_“Lance?”_

“Yeah, I’m on my way!” Lance yelled into the communicator of his helmet. He rounded the corner quickly and shot down the two sentries clambering down the hall toward him. They went down instantly at his precision and he smirked.

Shiro’s voice rang through the comm again, _“Everyone get to your lions and head back to the castle.”_

 _“_ _On it!”_ Hunk answered.

 _“Keith and I are moving out now, I disconnected from the control system!”_ Pidge called.

Lance raced through the hallway to where his lion had been parked, proud of the victory by him and his team. Hunk was already in his lion, Shiro was on his way, Pidge and Keith had confirmed they were going. Everything was going smoothly. Lance was just about to congratulate the team on yet another successful mission, probably exaggerating his participation, maybe adding a quip about Keith. The usual. But, before he could, there was a flurry of noise.

 _“Pidge!”_ Keith’s voice rang out, sudden and forceful. Clashing. Shooting. Movement. Distant yelling. Were there Galra on board? It was supposed to be a sentry ship. Keith huffing heavy breaths into the microphone.

 _“Keith, watch–”_ Her sentence cut off suddenly by a gurgled choking followed by a smacking sound. Then screaming. Loud, shrill shrieking. It pierced Lance’s ears and he winced. His eyes widened. Pidge. Pidge’s sharp, desperate scream. Lance had stopped moving by that point. He was frozen in shock and fear.

 _“Pidge?! What’s going on?! Keith?!”_ Shiro yelled into his mic, fighting to be heard over Pidge’s constant stream of noise.

 _“Guys?!”_ Hunk sounded on the verge of tears, his voice breaking.

Pidge, Lance realized, was loud enough that he could hear her through the halls even without the communicator. Before Lance could think about what he was doing, he was booking it back the way he came. He hadn’t exactly memorized the layout of the ship, but he vaguely remembered the way Keith and Pidge had gone when they all split up. He could also pretty easily follow Pidge’s animalistic wailing. His blood felt cold as it pumped through his body. Keith hadn’t made a single noise as of yet and indescribable fear gripped him.

Eventually, Pidge came to her senses as her yelling ceased. _“Oh god.”_ Rapidly, her tone shifted to one of disbelieving dread. She swallowed thickly, hiccupping from her tears. _“Oh_ god!” Lance’s lungs burned and tears were forming in his eyes but he forced his legs to move! _“There’s so much blood…”_ Pidge’s strained and hoarse whisper was barely audible through the comms. But everyone heard it. Intakes of breaths. A clipped sob from Hunk. Lance nearly stopped, but he caught himself and continued on. As far as he could recall, he was getting closer.

 _“Where are you? Pidge!”_ Even Shiro sounded like he was breaking and Lance’s panic picked up. He could hear Hunk, a blubbering mess on his line.

 _“Paladins! What’s happening? Get out of there, now!”_ Allura joined the call, concerned but verging on alarmed.

They were ignored. _“Keith!”_ Pidge’s voice was a distressed sob. _“Keith! Please, please. C’mon, Keith. Wake up, you asshole.”_ The insult held no heat, only delirious desperation. _“It’s fine. I-It’s fine. You’re going to be f–fine.”_ It was clear from her voice that she was bawling and Lance pushed faster. He rounded corners, not slowing. He was close.

 _“Hey,”_ she sniffed. Her voice was shaking but she didn’t seem to care, still speaking. It was as if the others weren’t even there. _“You were going to teach me hand-to-hand… Remember? You pro– you promised…”_ A breathy whisper before she released another wet sob. _“And– and remember you asked me if– if I could make a colour changing light? I finished it. I finished it, Keith, I just forgot to tell you. I finished–”_ She broke down into more tears. Hunk had joined her by this point, clearly crying into his microphone. _“Please.”_ It was quiet and muffled. Quickly it dissolved into more sobbing.

Finally, _finally,_ Lance turned the last corner. There, at the end of the hallway, right outside the control room door, he could see green and red armour. Pidge had her tiny arms wrapped around Keith’s upper body. Her small frame was shaking from her tears and her head was bent down, pressed to his chest. Keith’s head was lolled back, hair everywhere, body limp. Red liquid pooled out around them, staining their armour. Even from as far away as Lance was, he could see the lack of life in Keith’s body and he felt bile rise in his throat.

Two Galra soldiers lay dead a little way past the paladins on the floor. Slashes marked up the front of one and the other’s neck was slit. It could only have been done by Keith’s bayard, which nearly blended into the blood coating the hall. A gun was clasped in the hand of the Galra with the slit throat.

Vaguely, he could hear his teammates asking panicked questions through the headset, but he couldn’t focus on them. He felt disconnected from all reality as he carefully approached, his limbs heavy. Breathing picking up. His chest ached, lungs burning. An empty, gaping hole opened in his stomach. Tears freely flowed across his face.

Pidge was rocking back and forth, pushing and pulling Keith’s body with her. She didn’t hear Lance approach, too caught up in her crying as she muttered ‘no’ over and over again. Lance couldn’t look at Keith’s face, instead choosing to focus on the back of Pidge’s head. Keith’s eyes, his beautiful, vast, galaxy eyes, to see those eyes staring through him, empty and lifeless. It would make it all too real. Keith was alive. He had to be.

Everything felt as though it was playing in slow motion even though he was moving as fast as he could. Still refusing to spare a glance at Keith, he placed his hand on Pidge’s shoulder. “Pidge.” She startled, pulling away from Keith’s form to stare up at Lance, still crying. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her tear-stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes. Her eyes had never looked so hopeless and his heart clenched. “We need to get him back to the healing pod.” She nodded and turned back to look at his chest, still nodding.

Lance gingerly stepped over Keith’s legs to the other side of him, dropping to his side to hook his arms around the boy’s shoulders and knees. Pidge let Lance lift him from the sea of his blood but she was hesitant to release her grip on his arm. “Yeah. Keith, you’ll be okay. The healing pod will heal you.” Her words were nearly indistinguishable as she mumbled them and she continued to nod. Lance could tell she was going into shock but it would have to wait.

Racing as fast as they were able, Lance and Pidge hurried back to their lions. “Shiro, we’re on our way. Allura, Coran, prepare a healing pod,” he spoke calmly into the microphone of his helmet. It was abnormal that he would be so calm while carrying the body of his friend, but as long as he didn’t look at Keith, then there was room to believe he was alive. Keith was alive.

 _“Lance? How is he? How is Keith?”_ Shiro had never sounded so frantic and it felt like another punch to his gut.

Pidge sniffled. Her eyes were wide and glossed with tears. “He’s… he’s de–”

“Shut up!” Everyone went silent, even Hunk’s snivelling paused. Lance hadn’t meant to snap at Pidge but if she broke his illusion, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to move, think, breathe, function. He would drop where he was. And there was no time for that. “He’ll be okay,” Lance whispered and forced himself to sprint faster, ignoring the pain on his muscles at all the deadweight. For such a small boy, Keith sure was heavy.

They finally reached the lions and Lance entered Blue, closely followed by Pidge. He laid Keith’s body onto the ground of his lion’s head and in an attempt to make sure Keith’s head was properly supported, he saw his face for the first time since the incident. Lance almost threw up right then. His entire heart dropped and he felt instantly too weak to hold his limbs up. A large hole was blasted through Keith’s neck, angled upwards into his skull. Blood caked his entire neck and chin. And just as he had expected, Keith’s eyes were glazed over. Where there was once a nebula of determination and surety, there was no longer any of that. There was nothing. To see him like that, the boy he loved, Lance felt his entire mind shutting down. His thoughts were a constant stream of _Get Keith to the healing pod._ Then he’d be okay. He would be okay.

He rushed to his pilot seat as Pidge knelt next to Keith. Neither had bothered to think about who was going to pilot Red or Green, but luckily both were fully able to follow behind Blue without their respective paladins. The only thing that mattered was getting to the castle.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Everything was a blur; Lance’s mind was going into shock too. He couldn’t remember the moments that lead him to standing outside Keith’s pod staring up at his deathly pale features through the glass. The cavernous wound in his neck was still there, no matter how much he begged this to be a terrible nightmare. His entire being felt numb and cold. Even Pidge’s tiny hand digging its nails into his palm didn’t affect him. Somewhere in the distance he was sure he could hear her and Hunk wailing, but it all seemed so far away from him that he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to check either, though. He just wanted to wait, eyes wide and mouth dry, as Coran tapped some buttons on the pod.

Slowly, Coran turned away from the pod. Had he always appeared so old and worn? His usual grin was gone, now replaced by a tired frown, his eyes were rimmed with red. Everyone focused on him as he opened his mouth to speak. “If you would like to say your final goodbyes now…” His voice was hoarse and it was obvious he was fighting back tears himself.

Lance was jarred back to reality. “What?” his voice cracked. “No, no, no. The pod will heal him, he’s going to be fine.” Pidge loosened her hand as he stepped forward but he was brought back by a metal hand on his shoulder.

“Lance…” Shiro didn’t sound much better than Coran.

“No!” Pulling away from Shiro, he gripped the collar of Coran’s coat desperately. “There’ll be no goodbyes! He just needs a day or two in the pod!” He was yelling at that point, tears cascading down his cheeks and off his jaw.

“Lance!” Shiro shouted. Hunk’s sobbing just grew louder and he crushed Pidge in a distressed embrace, letting Pidge stain his shirt with her own tears. Allura held a dainty hand up to her face to suppress a sob and to hide her tears from the others.

Coran despondently grasped Lance’s wrists, urging his hands to release their hold on him. He stared deeply into Lance’s eyes. “I know it’s hard to think this could happen, but the healing pod is not a miracle worker. Keith can’t be saved,” Coran whispered, clearly pained by his own words. Gross bawling overtook Lance suddenly and he let himself fall forward. Coran caught him and wrapped his arms around Lance’s shaking form, rubbing circles into his back.

They all stood there for hours before Hunk trudged out, eyes bloodshot and weary. He held Pidge’s hand and led her away too, soothing her with the promise that they would go make cookies. She agreed even through her crying. Shiro was next to leave, but not before he placed his flesh hand on the glass of the pod and mouthed something.

Allura stepped forward after him. She stood in front of the pod and Lance watched through his watery eyes as she lifted her hand to her forehead and brought it back out in a salute before mumbling in her broken, shaky voice, “Excellent work, Red Paladin. You are relieved of your duty.” She dropped her hand and followed after Shiro who was at the door, waiting. Coran placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder at some point and said something about attending to part of the ship that was in need of repair. Lance would be lying if he said he was paying any attention.

It was silent and Lance unconsciously wandered closer to the pod. He placed his hand on the glass so the wound was covered from his vision as he stared at Keith. Just once, he wished he could gaze into those mesmerizing eyes just one more time. At that moment, however, it was better that his eyes were closed because Lance did not need to see them again, to be reminded again.

There had been countless times where Lance had thought that Keith was going to die. When he had taken on four Galra soldiers at once, when he had been stabbed with a poison knife, when he had gotten caught up in a trap set up by a rebel group, when that faceless alien from that one freaky planet had practically electrocuted him for a solid minute and he had come out of it as if it were an enlightening experience. But there had always been a build up to it. Lance had time to prepare on those occasions, time to do something, anything. Not this time.

It really did make sense that he would be the one to get himself killed though, as impulsive and erratic as he was, but Lance had never entertained the idea that any of them would die. He knew it was possible and entirely plausible in their line of work, but he had that strong sense of invincibility that came with being a teenager. It would tear him apart for any of them to die, but Keith was so determined and headstrong. He could wield a sword better than any of them and was the one who taught them all hand-to-hand combat. Of course, he was still an oblivious, stubborn, jerk who one-upped Lance constantly and never backed down from a challenge, but even at his most annoying, Lance could never see him as anything but perfection.

But with his near-white complexion, his deep, sagging, under-eye bags, his relaxed eyebrows, and obviously, the entire portion missing out of his neck, he just looked so helpless and frail. Anyone who didn’t know him would only see the tragic accident of a young boy who was gone too soon, not a selfless fighter who wouldn’t hesitate for a mismatched family that meant more to him than life itself. But Lance knew Keith. Lance loved Keith. He so badly wished he had just told Keith, before it was too late. Self-doubt and self-loathing plagued his mind constantly and he vowed he would never tell Keith, he would surely be rejected if he did. So, he locked his feelings up tight behind a friendship built upon longing, never to see the light of day.

Except things were different now and even if it meant rejection, Lance would give anything to be able to tell Keith how he felt in that moment. Maybe if he had realized the fragility of their situation sooner, he would have stopped being an asshole to Keith every chance he got. They could have had something. Keith would still have been his friend even if he didn’t feel the same way.

There was no room for ‘what if’s and ‘if only’s anymore, though. His chance had come and gone, and he had squandered it, understanding only too late.

His hand dropped from the glass and he closed his eyes, scrubbing the tears away from his face with the sleeve of his jacket. Turning to the door, he slowly made his way to his room and tried to shove his Keith thoughts away until he was behind his locked door.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

More hours passed and it was getting to be time when the ship lights automatically shut down to simulate night. Everyone would be going to sleep now, if they weren’t already there from the events of the day. Lance’s entire pillowcase was soaked from his tears. When he had first reached his room, he spent a good amount of time just yelling in frustration and agony, as if it would change anything. The rest had been spent sobbing into his pillow until it finally dawned on him that Keith was really dead, and he threw himself into a panic attack. Eventually he calmed himself enough to leave his room. It pained him to be away from Keith, but it pained him to be near him too. This entire situation held no relief from the pain. He shuffled down the hallway, running his hands through his hair in an attempt to quell his pounding headache.

As he reached the med bay, he noticed there was a light coming from the slightly cracked door. He tiptoed to the door and peered inside. Right in front of Keith’s pod, there sat the small figure of Pidge. In front of her crossed legs, a sphere floated over top of a stand. It emitted a soft blue glow, illuminating the room and casting distorted shadows around. The light slowly changed from blue to green, shifting through every shade in between before continuing on to yellow. Lance waited for a moment longer but Pidge just sat and stared up at Keith behind the glass as the light changed around her.

Quietly, he slipped past the door and stepped down toward Pidge. If she noticed him, she didn’t acknowledge his presence. He sat next to her on the cold floor and stared up at Keith again.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, just staring at the boy in the pod as silent tears flowed from their eyes, but then Pidge broke the silence. In a small whisper, magnified by the noiseless, dome-shaped room, she said, “He asked me to make this.” Her hand reached out to the levitating globe of light. It bounced in the air as her hand brushed it. “He didn’t want anyone to know about it. The changing colour calmed him, that’s what he told me.” Her throat sounded as if it had been scratched to hell. “I thought maybe he could use something calming right now…” Her voice was barely audible, even in the empty room. Lance’s heart clenched.

She spoke a little louder, “If I hadn’t rushed out of there without looking, he–” She choked on her words, coughed and continued, “He was saving me. He would be alive right now if he didn’t have to protect me. If I had just _looked,_ he would–” Her voice had raised but she still had to take a shuddering breath and calm herself.

Lance leaned over and wrapped his arms around Pidge’s tiny frame as her body shook from her crying. “It’s not your fault, Pidge,” he whispered into her hair, “you couldn’t have known.” He hugged her tighter and he felt her fingers grasp his shirt tightly.

“I could have done _something!_ It all happened so fast and I just stood there. I let him die. It’s all because of me, Lance, I could have done something!” If he didn’t know better, he would say she was trying to suffocate herself with his shirt as she sobbed into his chest.

The aching of his heart was unbearable and the blame this young girl piled on herself only made it worse. “It’s not your fault,” he repeated in a whisper, softly petting her hair and resting his chin on her head. “Knowing him, he probably didn’t think about it,” he huffed a laugh, but it sounded self-deprecating. “He probably just saw you were in danger.”

“I wish it had been me instead,” her voice was low and drained.

Lance pulled her in tighter, practically crushing her, but she made no complaint. “I wish it was me instead, too. I think everyone does.” Tears welled up again even as he thought he had no more left to cry.

They hugged each other in silence some more, Pidge shifting marginally under Lance’s embrace to gaze at the colour changing light. It blended over from red to pink, back to purple and onwards. Lance watched with her and his throat felt dry. It really was calming, and somehow that thought only brought more pain with it.

He could feel Pidge’s grip loosening and her head slipping from his chest. After everything that had happened and all the crying she had done, he couldn’t blame her for being exhausted, so he waited for her to fall asleep. Just as he thought she was gone, Pidge whispered again, seemingly to no one in particular from her near unconscious mind, but her words really struck Lance nonetheless; “We’re just kids.” And she was out like a light. He held her for a couple more minutes just to be sure she was sleeping, and to stare at the changing light, mulling her words over.

Carefully, he moved her arms to encircle his neck and picked her up by the legs. As he left the room and headed to her room, he found himself thinking of his little sister. Pidge was a lot like her and it made Lance feel the need to look after her as a sister. Even though she was confrontational towards anyone who babied her for her age, it was obvious that everyone on the team cared about her as their own sibling.

After reaching her room, he opened the door and delicately laid her down on her bed. The blankets were bunched at the end of the mattress and Lance pulled them up and over Pidge. Once she was tucked in, he gingerly removed her glasses, leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and whispered a goodnight.

He left the room and he closed the door behind him, then he headed back towards the med bay. As much he would convince himself it was to get the light that Pidge had left behind, he knew it was to see Keith. Footsteps echoed around the hallway as he moved and he tried his hardest to focus on it instead of anything relating to Keith. He thought of Pidge and her self blame. Self-loathing had always been Lance’s expertise so to see it on someone else, especially someone as confident and intelligent as Pidge, it chilled him to the bone. It wasn’t her fault what happened to Keith. If Lance hadn’t decided to split off from the pair, then Keith would be alive, so it was as much Lance’s fault as Pidge’s, if not more.

He arrived at the med bay and stepped into the room again. Keeping his eyes to the ground, he made his way over to the little hovering light. It was a deep purple. Forcing a shaky breath from his lungs, he glanced up again, ready to brave Keith.

Only, Keith wasn’t there.

The pod was empty.

Panic washed over Lance instantly and he shifted to look at all the other pods, thinking perhaps he had just stopped in front of the wrong one. But no. They were all empty. Lance’s heart had picked up and a cold sweat coated his skin. Was there an intruder? Had the ship disposed of Keith’s body already?

Was Keith…? No. That would be ridiculous.

A small sound shifted at his left and he whipped around to stare in the direction of the noise. There, in the doorway, looking surprised, was Keith. He wore his usual red leather jacket and black jeans with the same belt. His mullet hair was slightly disheveled and his cheeks were red, proof of the blood pumping through his blood vessels. Those eyes, those bright, widened eyes stared at Lance. They were so unbelievably alive that Lance almost started to laugh right there. And his neck, oh god, his neck. There wasn’t a single mark. Not even a scar.

It was all too much to even comprehend and Lance’s eyes released tears of happiness. Was this all a dream? A hallucination? It didn’t matter, Keith was right there, staring into Lance’s eyes. A tired and damaged smile broke out across Keith’s face and he huffed out a single tear-choked word;

_“Lance.”_


	2. Miracle of Miracles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can be summed up with this: Relieved Crying.

Lance stared in shock. He took a small step forward, hardly believing he was face to face with a very much alive Keith. The Red Paladin stepped toward Lance too, his hands twitching at his sides. They both stared into each other’s eyes, the tension in between them palpable as they waited for the other to make a move first. This boy who had been killed only hours before was then standing there, right before him, staring at him, smiling at him. This boy who he loved, who he thought he would never get to confess to, who he thought he would never get to _see_ again. The burning fire that was Keith Kogane, put out and extinguished for good, and yet, there he was.

Lance couldn’t take it anymore, his legs moved him forward before he could consciously think to do it. His arms wrapped around Keith’s torso as soon as he was close enough to grasp him. The boy in his arms squeaked as he was held but after a moment of recovery, warm arms slid up Lance’s back and lightly dug into his shoulder-blades. Lance dropped his forehead onto Keith’s shoulder and breathed deeply. He smelt like ash and blood. It wasn’t the most pleasant scent he had ever experienced but at the same time, nothing could have been more beautiful. Nothing could have been more Keith.

Keith’s chin set into his shoulder too. They both held each other, Lance frantically digging his nails into the other as if he would disappear at any second. Tears began rolling down Lance’s cheeks and he sobbed before he could stifle it, pressing his chest farther into Keith.

Keith tentatively moved his hands back to hook around Lance’s neck and pull back, resting his forehead against Lance’s. Sniffling, Lance refused to open his eyes, not wanting it to all be a dream. He also didn’t want Keith to see him falling apart. His hands hesitantly rested on Keith’s hips and he slowly opened his eyes. Softened, violet eyes stared back at him, studying him and looking directly into his soul. A small, sincere – and yet painfully unsure – smile was painted along Keith’s face. Keith was so close, Lance’s entire vision being invaded by the boy.

“You– I saw– But– How?” Lance sputtered, still holding back tears. “Keith. _Keith.”_

Keith’s smile faltered, “You should go back to sleep.” His voice was quiet and shaky. “You’re not making any sense.”

“You’re alive,” Lance sobbed, his head pressing into Keith’s harder.

“You’re tired,” Keith countered, and he was pulling away, turning to step into the centre of the room. He leaned over and picked up the colour changing light off the ground, then made his way back to Lance. His fingers curled around Lance’s hand and gently, he led Lance away, through the door. Lance trailed behind him, letting himself be dragged to his room, offering no resistance.

Lance stared on, taking in every detail of Keith’s back as he followed along. His heart was beating in his chest, threatening to beat right out as relief and confusion flooded him in bouts. He was dreaming, he had to be. There was no way that Keith could just come back to life and then act like it was nothing.

Lance glanced down to where Keith’s hand was gripping his gently, his pale white skin contrasting against Lance’s darker, tanned skin. The callouses along Keith’s hands pressed into Lance’s smooth hand, assuring Lance that he was there. Lance squeezed Keith’s hand a little harder, not ready to believe any of this was really happening. For a brief moment, Keith paused in his walking, turning to stare back at Lance with a tired frown. It flipped Lance’s stomach.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Keith muttered, as though voicing Lance’s thoughts. “You’re on the verge of tears.”

“Sorry,” Lance breathed, scrubbing at his face.

Keith stepped a little bit closer, still holding the colour-changing light in his hand. Vicious red bathed Keith’s features, reminding Lance of the bloody marks that had been there only hours earlier. The light swiftly rolled into an orange, taking with it all of his memories of a dead boy in a pod as Keith stared into Lance’s eyes, concern and confusion radiating from his gaze.

“It’s okay. You just need some rest,” Keith answered softly.

“Will you…? When I wake up, will you still…?” Lance attempted to get his question out. He breathed heavily, trying his best to keep from sobbing even though it was already painted over his stained cheeks.

Keith nodded once, hard and affirming. “I’m not going anywhere, so you don’t have to crush my hand.”

Lance glanced quickly down to Keith’s hand again. Sure enough, he was gripping Keith’s hand so tightly that it was a wonder Keith had any circulation at all. He couldn’t think of anything to say, still caught up in the idea that he was holding Keith’s hand. Keith. Who had died. His hand didn’t loosen its hold.

After a moment of silence, Keith sighed, turned back around, and continued to pull Lance down the halls towards his room. His feet echoed through the high ceilings which were illuminated by the floating light in Keith’s hand. Lance hurried along to keep up, afraid that if he lagged behind too much, Keith’s hand would slip from his grip, never to return. He scarcely even blinked, expecting Keith to vanish into thin air, nothing more than a hallucination brought about by his tired, grieving mind. Or worse, an extremely vivid dream after he had fallen asleep without realizing it.

Finally, they arrived at Lance’s room. Keith stopped in front of the door. He prepared to release Lance’s hand so he could place it on the scanner beside the door, but before he could pull away, Lance released a sudden whine, halting Keith’s movements and drawing his attention back to the boy.

“I… I’m…” Lance stuttered out. His voice cracked as he tried to form words but nothing would come to him. Keith stared at Lance for a moment, shifting his focus between Lance’s eyes as though he were trying to decipher a code. Lance could feel that his own eyes were dripping with desperation and disbelief – literally dripping; he had begun crying again.

Lance could only assume that Keith had found what he was looking for because his face softened, his eyes becoming heavy suddenly and his shoulders slouching. He smiled, handing the floating light to Lance, who accepted it with his free hand. Keith placed his now-empty palm onto the scanner and the door slid open. Lightly, Keith tugged Lance into the dark room, letting the automatic door shut behind him. They stood in Lance’s small room littered with blankets, snacks, and random junk he had taken from previous missions the team had been on. The light’s colour reached even farther in the condensed space, vibrant as it shifted through the hues.

Keith removed the floating light from Lance’s hand, placing it on the shelf near the door. He still didn’t let go of Lance’s hand, something Lance was grateful for. He was pulled to the bed, settling down onto it with Keith awkwardly hovering above him, unsure of what he was supposed to do. Lance knew that look. He had seen that look on Keith’s face countless times in social situations, often using it as a signal and swooping in to help Keith out with a subtle cue here and there so he wouldn’t be so lost.

So, in the face of a completely baffling situation, and almost entirely because he wasn’t even positive that Keith was really there with him, he said the only thing that his devastated heart could think of; “Stay?”

Keith, who had been staring at the floor as if it held the answers, instantly glanced up. His eyes were blown wide with surprise, although it was equally evident in the burning red of his cheeks. Luckily for Keith, the light swiftly changed to red, swallowing the heat of his face with it. “Wha–?” Keith stuttered.

Lance gripped Keith’s hand tighter, pulling him forward. Keith stumbled, his knees hitting the side of the bed as he rapidly regained his balance. “Please…?” he choked out.

“Lance, I–”

“You died,” Lance frantically whispered. Keith stared at Lance, shell-shocked. “I held... Keith, I held your body…” Another sob worked its way up Lance’s throat as he spoke. “You were _dead.”_ Lance reached his free hand up ever-so-slowly. Keith, still frozen in place, flinched when Lance’s hand lightly brushed over his neck, but he didn’t pull away. Lance’s eyes raked the skin, searching for any sign that the wound was ever there at all, but there was none.

Lance could feel Keith’s hand clenching down, digging his nails into Lance’s skin as he attempted to deal with yet another foreign situation. “Okay…” Keith finally decided on. He averted his eyes, staring intensely at the light on the shelf. Neither of them moved for a moment, just sitting in silence. Lance watched Keith, waiting for him to make a move. “Are you…?” Keith swallowed nervously, “Are you going to move over?” It sounded as though he was trying to sound confident but his voice cracked nonetheless.

Lance’s eyes widened and his cheeks burned a little bit. He hoped the yellow light would be enough to hide his face. Shuffling along the bed, Lance quickly kicked his shoes to the floor and shimmied his way under the covers. The entire time, Lance didn’t dare let Keith’s hand go and by the time he was settled into the bed, Keith was pressing his empty hand into the top of the bed to keep from falling over with his arm outstretched towards Lance. Keith’s face was covered in his arm as he let Lance relax.

Once Lance stopped moving, he stared at Keith again. There was a pause in which Keith just stood there, then he slowly slid his hand out of Lance’s grasp. Lance felt panicked as soon as he could no longer feel Keith’s hand but he contained himself, his heart beating out of his chest. The image of Keith’s lifeless eyes and bloodied neck flashed before his eyes and his throat closed.

But Keith was there. Keith was standing right beside him, next to the bed, his back to Lance as he slid his cropped jacket off his shoulders and down his arms. He let it drop to the floor in a heap. Lance studied him as he carefully undressed, bathed in the brilliant, rainbow light. He lifted a foot and slipped his shoe off, leaving it next to Lance’s, then did the same with his other one. Moving slowly, Keith reached around his back and unclipped the knife holster on his belt. He lightly set it on top of his jacket, then slowly turned around to face Lance. His expression turned embarrassed and he ducked his head down. Hesitantly, Keith lifted the corner of the blanket and sat down on the edge.

Lance, from his spot against the wall with his head snuggled into his pillow, couldn’t see Keith’s face, but he could see the stiffness in his strong shoulders as he took a deep breath. Keith finally lifted his legs into the bed and budged down until his head was on a different pillow, one of the many which Lance had hoarded. He stared directly up at the ceiling, stiff as a board.

“You should sleep too,” Lance whispered into the space between them.

There was a brief silence from Keith, almost as if he hadn’t heard Lance. Then, in a low voice, he answered, “I’m not tired.”

“It’s been a long quintant though,” Lance urged, “especially for you…” He swallowed.

At that, Keith glanced over to Lance out of the corner of his eye. Lance met his gaze until Keith looked away again. “I’m so sorry…” he muttered.

It took Lance back a little bit and he narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What for?” he asked.

“Causing you trouble. You and everybody else. I don’t want you all thinking you have to look out for me constantly,” Keith mumbled out. He turned his face away from Lance but still spoke loud enough that he could be heard. “I know I’m reckless, the team reminds me everyday, but I didn’t mean for this to happen…” his voice trailed off but his tense shoulders seemed to relax. No, not relax, more like slump, as though Keith himself was defeated by his admission.

Lance couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Normally, when Keith did something impulsive without thinking, he would end up in the healing pod only to be chewed out later when he woke up for jumping directly into the midst of battle. But this wasn’t that. Keith had willingly given his life for a teammate, he had died. But there he was. Lance still couldn’t figure out how that was even possible, but it really didn’t matter. It was a miracle of miracles and Lance was content with that being his only explanation if it meant Keith was alive. Lance couldn’t be further from angry and when the team saw Keith in the morning, he knew for certain that no one would be mad at Keith. For Keith to even feel as though he was a burden for what he had done dried Lance’s throat right out with hurt.

There was no way Lance could formulate the words to tell Keith why he was wrong, there just wasn’t. So, instead, Lance shuffled forward and wrapped his arm around Keith’s stomach, trapping him in the most encouraging hug Lance could muster. It was no Hunk hug, but it held all the words that Lance could only ever hope to convey to Keith about just how much that boy meant to him.

On any given day, had Lance been in bed next to Keith, he would have been a nervous wreck, just blushing and stuttering all over the place as he purposely tried to avoid touching or inconveniencing Keith in any way. Except, much like everything else on this day, the situation was not the same. It was heavy and weighted, every movement, every word, every breath feeling as though it could be the last, because it almost was the last. Lance didn’t want to waste a second on the meaninglessness of rejection.

Keith, just as before, twitched and panicked in the face of Lance quickly pulling him in for a hug, rigid once again. Lance was latched to his side, face buried in the boy’s arm. He took a deep breath, simultaneously reaching for more air and taking in Keith’s scent, before finally speaking again, still in the softest tone he could manage, “Nobody thinks you’re troublesome. I’m just so glad you’re alive, Keith.”

Even with his eyes closed, Lance could feel against his arm as Keith’s chest collapsed inwards with his sudden intake of breath, and after a moment, the slow exhalation released into his hair, ghosting across his forehead. Lance smiled as Keith’s body relaxed, truly relaxed this time.

Lance could feel his eyelids drooping, all he wanted was to sleep off the exhaustion and grief from the day, like shedding a shirt that no longer fit and tossing it into the back of the closet to hopefully never be found again. He tried his best to keep them open, fearing that Keith would slip back to his room once Lance was asleep. As he was fighting himself, he felt a shaky gloved hand slide cautiously into his hair, pushing his bangs back a bit. The hand slowly pulled away, leaving Lance with a feeling of comfort and safety.

As he gave himself up to his body’s request for sleep, a smile twitched at his lips and his fingers tightened around Keith’s arm, then he was gone to his unconsciousness.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Lance awoke in the morning, his breathing laboured and his cheeks stained with tears. He jerked upright in the bed, trying his best to calm his heart down as it threatened to beat out of his chest. Shakily, he placed a hand over his chest, repeating to himself that it was just a dream, that he was fine, he was safe. As he came down from his frightened high, he gradually relaxed into the mattress again, slowing his breathing and gently closing his eyes.

It was a nightmare and he was okay. They were in a war, so things tended to stick with them, showing up again in the dead of night like a monster from beneath the bed, reminding them of the things they wished to forget most. Lance was no stranger to nightmares, he’d had them a couple of times while in space, but that one was too vivid, too real. He had seen him – Keith – being shot in the neck. In reality, Lance had never seen it, but minds were nasty things, capable of extrapolating and imagining, crafting scenes no one wished for.

Keith was alive. He had to remind himself of that as he laid with his eyes closed; Keith was alive.

A realization dawned on Lance then and his eyes shot open. He whipped his head to the side and sure enough, the bed was empty. Panic set into Lance’s bones again, skyrocketing his heartrate once again. He flipped the sheets up just to be sure, as if Keith had developed a magical ability to turn as thin as a piece of paper suddenly. Lance knew it was ridiculous.

Quickly, Lance launched himself out of the bed, promptly tripping over the sheets and falling to the ground. It didn’t stop him as he frantically glanced around the room. Had it truly been a dream? Was Keith dead? Had he simply left? The light wasn’t on anymore, shut off sometime in the night or the early morning. Lance hadn’t done that, so Keith had to have been there, right? There was no other explanation.

Before Lance could really work himself into a frenzy, the door to the adjoining bathroom clicked and opened. As if Lance hadn’t just been panicking, Keith stepped into the bedroom calmly, his hair a little disheveled, and reached his arms above his head in a deep stretch. Lance just watched him, awestruck. When he finally dropped his arms with a sigh, Keith glanced over to Lance. “Why’re you on the floor?” he asked, his voice deeper than normal from lack of use so early in the morning.

Lance’s face turned red and gaped like a fish for a moment before leaping upwards to his feet. “Nothing! I’m just–” he cut himself off, pausing to stare at Keith’s amused expression. It short circuited Lance’s mind for a moment how adorable Keith looked in the morning, his sharp eyes somewhat hazy and soft as they stared at Lance, waiting for an answer. “Never mind…”

Keith snorted, then wandered over to the bathroom again. He grabbed his jacket off a hook and swiftly pulled it on. “We should go see the others,” Keith suggested. “You’re the only one that I’ve spoken to yet.”

Something in Lance’s heart twitched as he realized that the rest of the team still thought that Keith was dead. The only sleep they probably all got was after passing out from exhaustion and grief, all while Lance was curled up with the boy in question. That situation fully dawned on Lance too. He had slept with Keith. Well, not _slept_ with Keith, but he had cuddled Keith in his bed and that was more than enough to bring a whole new round of heat to his face. At the time, he had been too relieved and drained to care, so maybe Keith would give him a pass.

“You’re right!” Lance exclaimed. “Everyone is devastated, they have to know you’re okay.” Lance pulled on his jacket too, slipped into his shoes, and for once, didn’t give a shit about his face mask or how he looked. Keith just waited patiently by the door with his arms crossed over his chest and his foot kicked up onto the wall, although he was giving Lance an odd look, as if he didn’t understand what Lance was talking about, but he didn’t say anything.

Once Lance was ready, the pair made their way down to the med bay. Normally, the team would be in the kitchen, ready to complain when Lance was the last one up once again before delving into the plans for the day, but Lance knew that today would be different. There would be no plans. Keith seemed to just be following Lance, picking at his gloves nervously. Lance wasn’t really sure what to say, or if there was anything to say, that would make Keith less awkward about it, but he tried anyways.

“You better get ready for lots of hugs when we get there, especially from Pidge,” he warned, smiling.

Keith paused his hands and glanced over to Lance, his eyes confused. “Pidge?” he said, as though that was the last thing he had been expecting Lance to say.

“Yeah, she… she thinks it was her fault,” Lance clarified.

“Oh.” Keith returned to picking at his glove. “I don’t really know what happened, but I don’t blame her. It was probably my fault anyways.”

Lance’s eyebrows furrowed and he frowned, “No one’s at fault, Keith, you saved Pidge’s life.”

Keith’s hands stilled again and his feet faltered. He regained himself quickly though and continued walking, this time with more vigor and determination. There was an understanding on his face that Lance couldn’t quite place the meaning of. “And I’d do it again,” he mumbled, more to himself as he nodded. Lance wasn’t sure how he felt about that comment. He didn’t like Keith jumping into danger, even if it was for someone from the team. He just hated Keith getting hurt.

By that point they had made it to the med bay. Keith slowed as they got near the door, wearily eyeing the door. Lance had never seen Keith so unsure about something as mundane as entering a room in the castle and he was about to ask what was wrong when the conversation from last night played through his mind. He realized that Keith probably thought everyone would be upset with him instead of with the loss of him.

Hoping to dispel Keith’s worry and everyone else’s depression as quickly as possible, Lance pressed his hand to the scanner and watched the doors slid open. He stepped in ahead of Keith, grabbing his wrist as he did so he could lead Keith inside. Keith stumbled a little bit, but didn’t complain.

“Lance, did you store Keith last night, he’s not–” Shiro’s fragile voice cut off with a strangled noise.

Shiro just stood there, by the pod Keith had been kept in, his body halfway turned. He stared, not at Lance, but past him. Everyone in the room was also staring, all in the same state of disbelief as their minds tried to process what they were seeing. Pidge was with Hunk, her eyes glossy and her glasses askew. Her mouth hung open as she stared. Hunk, with his hand in Pidge’s, had tears streaming down his face, also watching. Allura almost looked afraid, like she was seeing a ghost rather than a person. And Coran, at Allura’s side, seemed like his eyes may fall out of his head if he bulged them out any farther.

No one spoke, they all just stared. Lance could hear Keith shuffle into the room some more, still with his wrist in Lance’s hand. “Uh…” Keith began. He cleared his throat, “I didn’t mean to… y’know… I’m sorry…” he awkwardly shuffled his feet, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

As soon as he was done, there was a symphony of sobs, everyone’s tears renewed as they watched Keith and listened to him talk. Pidge detached her hand from Hunk, practically tripping over herself as she sprinted toward Keith while screaming. She threw her arms around the taller boy, giving him no warning whatsoever. A yelp left Keith as he stumbled back, attempting to balance the both of them. Lance’s hand was ripped from Keith’s wrist by the force of it and his fingers felt cold at the lack of contact, but he didn’t say anything.

Keith clumsily patted Pidge’s back, laughing nervously as he didn’t know what to do. Pidge just sobbed out a chorus of apologies, almost begging him for forgiveness. Shiro was next, stumbling forward like a dehydrated man to water. His eyes were wide and red-rimmed, no doubt from a night of crying. Keith looked up in time to see Shiro wrap his arms around Keith and Pidge. Lance knew that Shiro was a strong man, not just physically, and he had never thought he’d see Shiro cry, but to watch Shiro drop his forehead onto his little brother’s shoulder and weep nearly broke Lance’s heart all over again.

Hunk drew Lance’s attention away as he released a loud wailing sound, almost like a wounded animal, before racing over to join the hug. Allura and Coran followed right behind him, all finding a space to squeeze in and hug Keith. After a moment of hesitation, Lance decided to join in. Everyone was crying, hanging onto Keith in the same desperate way that Lance had the night before.

Lance glanced up to see Keith with a tentative and broken smile on his face, his eyes glimmering with something that Lance couldn’t quite place. Happiness and disbelief, but sadness and guilt at the same time. Keith’s eyes caught on Lance, his smile growing once they made eye contact. Lance’s heart missed a beat.

“Keith, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry! I didn’t mean to– I didn’t–” Pidge blubbered, her face red and wet. She buried her face into Keith’s jacket, probably getting snot all over it.

“It’s okay, it’s fine, I’m not mad,” Keith uneasily assured, trying his best to calm her down. She just cried some more.

Hunk lifted his head from where he had been sobbing happily into his own arm. “You’re alive, I can’t believe you’re alive,” he laughed through his tears. Keith did that thing again. The same thing he had done the night before when Lance had told him that he was glad Keith was alive. He sucked in a breath and shakily released it, all while staring at Hunk in surprise.

“Don’t ever do anything like that again… please…” Shiro said in an uneven voice.

Keith turned to Shiro, the look of surprise still present. “I’m sorry, Shiro, I know I shouldn’t be so reckless and…” he replied, his voice trailing off at the end as he observed a single tear roll down his brother’s cheek. His expression morphed into fear and panic.

Everyone slowly began pulling away from Keith – except for Pidge, who stayed latched onto him with her face firmly planted in his jacket – and gave him some space, although not much space as they all hovered around him anyways.

“Hold on a moment,” Coran suddenly spoke up. “Not that we aren’t all thrilled that you’re alive, Number Four, but how exactly are you alive?” he questioned, scrutinizing Keith’s face.

This only made Keith more nervous. “Galra genes?” he answered, more as a question really. He seemed irritated by the question even being asked at all.

“Hmm…” Allura narrowed her eyebrows while wiping the tears away from her eyes. “I don’t know of the Galra having increased healing ability…” she added.

“There isn’t even a mark,” Shiro noted, surveying Keith’s neck.

“Well, maybe Galra have evolved, okay, I don’t know!” Keith suggested loudly, slapping his hand to his neck to cover the lack of a scar. He stepped back, dragging Pidge with him as he tried to get out of the situation.

Lance swooped in then, wrapping an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “Guys, guys! Spirits are all very high, let’s not ruin that! You know what they say; don’t look a gift horse in the mouth! Speaking of mouths, I’m hungry, I’m sure our buddy Keith here is also hungry. Who’s up for some goo?” Lance cheerily asked, pulling Keith back through the door with Pidge still clasped to his torso.

Keith stared at Lance, somewhat startled. Lance quickly leaned toward Keith’s ear, whispering low enough that not even Pidge could hear him, “You don’t have to tell us.” When he pulled away, he saw that there was a blooming warmth along Keith’s cheeks before he smiled gratefully and glanced back to the others. Lance couldn’t help the blooming warmth that he, himself, was experiencing in his chest.

“I could use some food,” Keith nodded.

Pidge sniffled a little bit, straightening up properly. “Same here,” she added, obviously trying to even out her voice.

Hunk seemed ready to eat, if the look of happiness on his face was anything to go by. Coran’s moustache twitched as he dropped his expression of skepticism in favour of a genuine smile. Shiro and Allura both still seemed somewhat concerned about the details of Keith’s miraculous return, but they left it, opting to join the team at breakfast.

As the group turned to leave and head to the dining hall, Pidge scurried around Keith, leaping up onto his back. Keith yelped, not ready for the sudden weight, but quickly balanced them again after some stumbling. She wrapped her legs around his torso, which he grabbed hold of to keep her upright as she piggybacked away. Her arms were around his neck and she laughed in his ear, bright and relieved.

Although something really didn’t sit right with Lance about Keith’s return, he didn’t let it bother him, more focused on watching the love of his life carrying around one of his best friends, seeing the same thankful and loving smile on Keith’s face as he glanced over his shoulder to the young girl on his back. Something about that expression played at Lance’s heartstrings, desperate in nature, but it also made Lance feel warm and fuzzy.

Lance turned back to meet Hunk’s gaze. His eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, happy ones this time. With a jovial chuckle, Lance patted Hunk’s arm before they all continued on to the kitchen.

For the rest of that day, everyone followed Keith around wherever he went, but not being too weird or persistent about it. Keith didn’t really know what to do with all the added attention and love, seeming a little tense in some situations. Rather than run away though, Keith would try his best to stick to the sidelines wherever Lance was, and sometimes where Shiro was.

Lance wasn’t really sure what it meant, but he wasn’t going to complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'know, Keith really stuck his neck out for Pidge back there. What a good guy.  
> (My neck-less Keith jokes make me laugh and cry at the same time.)
> 
> Also, I just had the best thought. I don't know if you guys have ever seen that Canadian PSA that used to run about not believing everything you see on TV, but it's on youtube if you wanna watch it. And you should. House Hippos. Keith can go into the healing pod with a House Hippo. Get Keith a House Hippo 2k17. I literally woke up two minutes ago but this is an important thought.


	3. Sunsets and Sunrises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonding in this chapter: Lance and Pidge

By the time the next day rolled around, the team had accepted that Keith had fully recovered, even though the circumstances around it made no sense. Lance, although curious, didn’t really think it mattered much still.

Keith didn’t sleep in his bed that night. It left Lance with a hole in his heart, a longing for a warm body to curl up against, a person to run their fingers through his hair. But that wasn’t it entirely, Lance knew that. It couldn’t just be anyone, he wanted Keith. He’d wanted Keith for a long time. Lance couldn’t let himself be greedy though. He was lucky enough that Keith had even stayed with him the first night, he should be happy with that.

In the day, however, there were no restrictions on whether he could be around Keith or not. Climbing into Keith’s bedroom was weird, gallivanting into his personal space with a snarky comment was not. So, Lance hunted around until he found Keith. Surprisingly, he wasn’t where Lance thought he would be. On any given day, Keith was in the training deck, working himself to the bone until someone told him to cut it out and take a break. Lance had been fully prepared with his speech to convince Keith that hanging out with him was a better idea than training, but he wasn’t there.

That, in itself, worried Lance a little bit. There was the oddball day where Keith wasn’t in the training room, and on those days, it wasn’t an issue, Lance would just look somewhere else. But this set Lance on edge now and he knew it was because of the mission.

He tried to calm himself as he sped-walked through the castle, checking into any room he passed, finding nothing. There were obvious places to look; for example, the kitchen or the med bay, but Lance was just being thorough. Eventually, his speed-walking turned into lightly jogging. The entire time, he kept telling himself that Keith was fine and he just needed a relaxing day off after his death.

As Lance was racing along, he happened to pass the lounge right at the same time that someone inside the room laughed. And Lance would recognize that laugh anywhere. He skidded to a stop, staring at the door. His heart began to slow back down in relief and he opened the door. There, sitting on one of the couches, was Keith. He was watching something on the ground with an amused smile on his face. As Lance got closer, he realized that it was the mice. They were dancing and rolling around on the floor in some sort of show, which Keith seemed to be enjoying.

Lance’s footsteps alerted Keith to his presence and he quickly turned to see who it was. A small smile graced his face when he saw that it was Lance, catching Lance’s attention and his heart in one fell swoop. “What’re you and the mice doing?” Lance asked, hoping to hide the goofy grin that surely would have worked its way onto Lance’s face had he not been vigilant.

“They made a show for me,” Keith chuckled. He patted the cushion next to him while staring expectantly at Lance.

Eagerly, Lance leaped over the back of the couch and into the open spot next to Keith. “That’s adorable,” Lance laughed as one of the mice catapulted through the air into a somersault, sticking the landing perfectly. “They’re really glad you’re back,” he commented wistfully, never taking his eyes off the mice’s show.

“Y’think so?” Keith asked, sounding doubtful, yet hopeful.

Lance turned to face Keith, smiling wide. “Yeah, man!” Keith huffed a laugh, a content smile returning Lance’s.

The mice chose that moment to end their show and scamper up to Keith; Chulatt hiding away in Keith’s pocket, Chuchule bounding into his hair, Plachu settling angrily on Keith’s shoulder, and Platt opting just to rest on Keith’s knee. Lance watched as Keith tried to hold back a pleased smile at the attention from the mice, but it didn’t work, another breathy sound of happiness escaping Keith.

“See? What’d I say? They like you!” Lance laughed, leaning closer to Keith.

“They like me until they have a secret to take back to Allura,” Keith accused, raising an eyebrow at the mice. “Isn’t that right?” Platt had the decency to look somewhat guilty under Keith’s stare.

Lance burst out laughing, nearly tumbling off the couch from how suddenly it hit him. “Like that time the mice caught you singing Great Balls of Fire and Allura told everyone because she wanted to know what that was!” he guffawed. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. When he looked over to Keith, he expected his face to be red from embarrassment and his shoulders up to his ears as he told Lance off for bringing that up, but instead, there was a blank look in his eyes and a confused wrinkle in his forehead.

“When did that happen?” he asked, tilting his head.

“What?!” Lance screeched. “How could you forget that?! You avoided the mice for, like, three quintants! You avoided _me_ for three quintants too because I sang the song whenever you used Red’s firepower!”

Keith stared at Lance harder, as though he was struggling to recall such a time. “I– I did?” he mumbled, turning his gaze to the far wall, no longer smiling.

Lance’s chuckles seemed to die down at that but his smile remained, growing painfully worried as time stretched on. He swallowed nervously. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. It was a couple months ago, so–”

“Oh!” Keith cut him off. “Right! That’s right!” then he was laughing, wholeheartedly and honestly. This relaxed Lance, causing him to laugh along with Keith.

Finally, Keith calmed, staring at Lance for a longer amount of time than normal. Lance didn’t mind though, letting Keith inspect every inch of his face as though he was about to study for a test on Lance’s features. Then, he flicked his head to the hallway. “Wanna go train?” he suggested.

Lance, although really not feeling up to training, couldn’t say no, especially when Keith was looking at him with those eyes and that grin. “Well, since you’re so eager for me to destroy you, I guess I can spare a dobosh or two,” he drawled, hopping up from the couch and leading them out of the lounge. They both waved goodbye to the mice, who had leaped off of Keith to let him leave. Keith thanked them for the show, which Lance couldn’t help but find endearing.

The two hurried along to the training room, sparing glances at each other the entire way without exchanging words. It felt strange and charged to Lance, but he loved every second of it.

Once they were there, Keith instantly shed his cropped jacket, tossing it into the corner of the room and moving to the middle. Lance copied, dropping his coat on top of Keith’s. He followed Keith to the middle of the room, loosening up his knees a little bit to get into a proper fighting position, his hands poised and ready for fighting. Keith was across from him, prepped for fighting as well. The same fiery glint that characterized Keith was in his eyes as he studied Lance, face serious.

Lance smirked, “Come at me, Keithy Boy! I promise I’ll go easy on you!”

Keith narrowed his eyes. “Go ahead then, if you want to have your ass handed to you so badly,” he countered, a playful tone in his voice.

Then, before Lance could even react, Keith was running at him. He aimed a punch right at Lance’s face, which Lance swiftly dodged with a sidestep. Keith was ready, twirling around in time to swing at Lance another two times in a row, both of which Lance easily avoided. Lance struck out, a carefully prepared hit right to Keith’s chest.

Lance and Keith had trained together many times before, getting into a groove of back and forth, whether it be with their bare hands, staffs, their bayards, or teaming up against a bot. One thing that Lance knew was that Keith would consistently, without fail, beat him every time they fought. Sure, Lance was able to pin Keith here or there, but Keith was stronger, faster, smoother, more precise, and more focused than Lance every time. It was because Keith was always training, always pushing himself to do better, and it showed. Lance had to really strain himself to find new ways to challenge Keith every time, but he never felt as though Keith was looking down on him, always seeing him as an equal, even when they fought verbally too.

But what Lance wasn’t prepared for was when Keith didn’t dodge. The hit that Lance threw was really more of a test hit, something to judge what Keith’s pattern was going to be this time, where his weaknesses were going to be, it wasn’t meant to land. And yet, Keith’s eyes widened a moment before Lance straight up punched him, sending him tumbling backwards.

“Keith?!” Lance shouted, startled and confused.

Keith caught himself easily though, coughing once before rolling his shoulders and getting into position again. “I’m fine,” Keith assured. “That was a good hit.”

Lance stared at Keith for a moment longer, studying him. Then he broke out into a grin, he laughed, “Of course it was, Keith, you do say I hit on everything, after all.” Lance winked after his teasing joke.

“Good for an amateur, I mean. I’m just getting warmed up,” Keith taunted. He raced toward Lance again.

Lance found it odd that Keith kept instigating the fights. Keith was almost always one to wait for his opponent to attack first, but maybe Keith was switching it up. It was definitely throwing Lance off a little bit, that’s for sure.

Keith seemed to be more stable the next time around, his punches coming out smoother and more well thought out than the first round. They continued on like that for hours, back and forth like they always did, just like old times. Insults were still thrown at each other, challenging and teasing alike, never actually intended to hurt the other. Lance could tell that Keith seemed to be a little bit thrown every time Lance would laugh at something Keith said, and those were the times when Lance really got the upper hand, knocking Keith back.

As much as it felt good and real to be there with Keith, fighting alongside him and yet fighting with him at the same time, exactly how Lance wanted it to always be, something was still wrong. He couldn’t tell if it was his own problem after the incident the night before, or if it was a problem with Keith himself. Whatever it was, it made everything feel surreal, unreal, and not in a good way, not in the way that Lance usually felt around Keith.

Keith continued to throw punches at Lance, not terrible ones, but not ones that landed either. His footing was sloppy too, even Lance could tell. The focus that was always in Keith’s eyes, the challenging fire, it wasn’t there. Usually, Keith would get a glow in his eyes right before he would smirk and take Lance down with a move that Lance would never have been able to track or predict, but that never came. No matter how much Lance and Keith went back and forth, Keith just kept the same frustrated, twitchy expression. It dawned on Lance that it was the expression Keith made when he was struggling.

Lance pulled back suddenly, unable to watch Keith jerk around the training room with so many obvious problems that it would take Lance one half-hearted punch to bring the boy down. He abruptly pushed Keith back before swiping his leg out and pulling back, effectively yanking Keith’s feet right out from under him. In his fall, Keith still managed to grab onto Lance’s shirt, dragging him down too. They both shouted in surprise before hitting the ground.

Groaning, Lance pushed himself onto his arms. He blearily opened his eyes, slightly confused, only to find that Keith was right beneath him, a hair’s breadth away. Lance’s face erupted into a blossom of red as he stuttered, “S-Sorry.” Keith just stared back at him somewhat disorientated as to what happened.

Lance quickly sat up, still on Keith, this time straddling his lap. That really wasn’t any better. Well, it was better in Lance’s opinion, but considering the fact that Lance still hadn’t even told Keith that he liked him, let alone got any sort of confirmation that this sort of thing would be okay with Keith, it really wasn’t better.

Keith sat up on his elbows, really not helping Lance’s case as he shifted around. Violet eyes met blue as the boy underneath him stared. There was a moment of silence, Lance’s heart beating in his chest, faster and faster every second. He knew he should probably get off of Keith, but he was frozen in his spot, just gazing into Keith’s eyes. Then, Keith’s face scrunched up into one of vague pain and he ducked his head forward, bringing a hand to the back of his head.

“Fuck…” he mumbled, rubbing his gloved hands over his hair.

“Oh, shit, did you hit your head?” Lance asked, suddenly extremely concerned. He leaned forward, attempting to get a better look. “I’m so sorry, Keith, I didn’t think– I mean– What happened out there? You were really bad, man, no offense,” Lance rambled. A thought occurred to him, “Are you not fully recovered?! Were you lying to us?! Holy shit, Keith! We need to get you to a healing pod, you might have a concussion!” His hands frantically – yet gently – searched through Keith’s hair, looking for a bump or a cut of some kind.

A gloved hand suddenly caught his wrist, halting his movements and guiding his hand away from the dark hair. Keith was staring at him with the most unimpressed and amused face Lance had ever seen. “Would you calm down? I’m fine, okay? It’s no big deal,” Keith reassured.

Lance narrowed his eyes at Keith. “Are you sure? You hit the ground pretty hard.”

Keith sighed, “Yes, Lance. I’ve been through worse.”

Lance’s eyes widened and his mind instantly retreated to the image of Keith’s bloodied neck, his lifeless eyes, his pale skin. The feeling of deadweight in his arms. The person he loved, limp in his hold. His last words, a warning to Pidge, echoing in Lance’s ears, replaying over and over again. He could feel the bile in his throat, just as clear as it was in the moment, the tears prickling his eyes. Panicked, helplessness grabbed at his chest, digging its claws into his heart and reminding him all over again that Keith died.

“Hey, hey!” Keith’s voice aggressively anchored Lance back to reality, back to the moment. He was closer now, his hands firmly planted on Lance’s arms. “Bad choice of words, sorry. Don’t think about that, not ever again, okay?” His hand moved up to Lance’s face, wiping away tears that Lance couldn’t even remember shedding, spreading warmth from his palms to Lance’s skin. He was speaking again though and Lance hung on every word. “I think we could both use a breather,” he suggested softly. “It’s been,” he glanced to the clock on the far wall, “a little over five vargas since we started and we’ve only had one break.”

Lance nodded numbly, not really up for fighting anything anymore. He leaned into the feeling of Keith’s hand unconsciously.

“We could go turn on a movie and take a nap?” Keith proposed, tilting his head to the side at the end.

Lance liked the sound of that, just him and Keith, napping together. Sleeping in the same bed was nice, domestic even, but somehow, napping together felt even closer. It wasn’t a necessary activity, it wasn’t about getting rest for the day ahead, it was just an act of trust because they wanted to.

Without really thinking too hard, Lance placed his hand gently onto Keith’s wrist, which was still extended up to Lance’s face. He held Keith’s hand there, smiling at him and letting his eyes droop. “Okay,” Lance simply agreed.

He watched as Keith’s eyes suddenly grew wide and his face darkened with a vibrant red hue. Keith ducked his face down again and muttering out a wavering, “You have to get off me so we can go…”

And just as suddenly, the illusion was broken as Lance realized he was still in Keith’s lap except with Keith sitting up, face to face with him while they practically held hands against Lance’s face. Lance squawked, practically throwing Keith’s hand back at him and tumbling off of his legs to scramble upright. He stared down at Keith, doing everything in his power to will his blush away, although he didn’t think it really helped much.

“Well then, we should go. Time is wasting and, you know what?” he raised his arms above his head, stretching while yawning, “I’m ready for a nap. Kicking your ass is hard work,” he snickered. He prayed that Keith didn’t notice as he obviously tried to steer the focus away from their previous position. Thankfully, Keith was just oblivious enough to not even bat an eye, just considering it to be another of Lance’s crazy antics, probably. He pulled himself from the floor to head to the movie room, leaving their jackets on the floor where they were.

“You just got lucky this time,” Keith scoffed, walking alongside Lance.

“What?! You were totally losing out there, dude, don’t deny it!” Lance hollered, knocking into Keith’s shoulder.

Keith snorted, bumping into Lance right back, causing him to laugh, “I let you win.”

“That’s such bullshit,” Lance giggled. He leaned into Keith, not necessarily bumping into him, just pushing him over slowly with his shoulder until Keith laughed and straight up shoved him. Lance yelped, nearly tumbling over, which only made Keith laugh even harder.

The two of them hurried down the hallway to the movie room, pushing and pulling each other the entire way there. Lance tried to shove Keith back but the boy kept dodging and rushing away. Luckily, Lance had long legs and could catch up to Keith easily, pushing him in the back so he tumbled forward. Keith barked out a startled noise as he attempted to catch himself, turning back around to glare at Lance with the same fire that Lance had so vehemently missed during training was present once more in his eyes and he charged at Lance.

“Keith! Keith, no, no, no, no! Ah!” Lance shrieked through his laughter while doing his best to skirt around Keith and bolt to the movie room.

Keith was having none of that. He blocked Lance perfectly, moving left when Lance moved left, moving right when Lance moved right. None of Lance’s jukes tripped Keith up in the slightest.

“What’s wrong Lance?” Keith taunted. “Come here!” He was smiling the entire time too, thoroughly enjoying their competition.

“No way, mullet!” Lance shouted.

Keith tried to speak through his laughter, finding it difficult, “Let me hug you!”

“Not in this lifetime!”

“What, you don’t trust me?” Keith chided, moving closer with a dark and playful gleam to his eye.

Lance’s heart lurched at the expression and he backed away some more. “Not when you’re making that face, I don’t,” Lance guffawed.

Abruptly, Keith lurched toward Lance, causing Lance to screech again, startled. Keith ducked down, managing to throw Lance over his shoulder in one fluid motion, keeping him balanced with a hold on his legs. Lance dissolved into laughter, beating a weak fist against Keith’s back from the awkward angle.

“Keith! Put me down!” Lance called, twisting his head around as best he could to look at Keith.

Keith snorted, “This is what you get for being a jackass.”

Lance, resigned to his fate, huffed. He pushed his hands down Keith’s back, splaying his fingers across Keith’s muscles and he could feel the way they tensed and relaxed under his hands even through the fabric of his shirt. Lance was just doing his best to keep himself upright instead of falling completely over Keith’s back, at least, that’s what Lance told himself it was for. He definitely wasn’t subtly feeling Keith’s muscles. That would be something that someone with no self control would do.

The movie room, luckily, was really only around the corner from where Keith had picked Lance up so there was no use in fighting it. Not that Lance was going to anyways. There was something incredibly attractive about the way that Keith flung him over his shoulder as if it was nothing. It got his heart racing. Everything that Keith did got Lance’s heart racing though.

Once inside, Keith flipped Lance back over his shoulder, dropping him unceremoniously onto one of the couch cushions. He bounced as he landed, nearly tumbling over the side.

“What movie do you wanna watch?” Keith asked, shuffling through the selection of Altean films.

“Put on that one with the alien girl who lives in that alien graveyard!” Lance exclaimed, excitedly shuffling around on the couch to stare at Keith over the armrest.

Keith glanced over his back to stare at Lance. “That one’s so boring,” he complained. He picked it off the shelf and began setting it up in the player anyways though.

“I like that one! You should be able to relate; the main character is basically you.”

“What?! How is she me?” Keith glared.

Lance grinned, “Black hair longer than her criminal record, a moody, broody attitude, and her parents are ghosts.”

“I–” Keith stopped. “That’s not–” he paused again. Keith stared at Lance for a moment before inspecting the movie cover. His eyebrows furrowed and Lance grinned wider, knowing that he was right. “... Fuck…” he muttered, still not looking at Lance.

“Gotcha, mullet. Now come sit!” Lance tittered, gesturing Keith over as the movie began to play. Keith burned holes into the movie case once more as though it had personally wronged him, then he meandered over to the couch where Lance was waiting on him, plopping down next to the boy.

The movie began, waves of blue and black colour melding across the screen as the opening title came up. Then they were launched right into the story, a young alien girl wandering slowly through rows upon rows of headstones while holding a basket of flowers. Lance had seen the movie a thousand times, knowing exactly what happened. Even though it was in Altean with English subtitles, he still knew all the words.

After the twenty-minute mark in the movie, Lance began to grow restless. It wasn’t that he couldn’t sit through a movie, especially this movie, there was just one tiny problem; the adorable boy next to him wanted to nap together and yet was making no move to do that. Lance kept waiting, hoping that maybe Keith would squiggle closer and wrap his arm around Lance in that goofy, pretending-to-yawn sort of way, but it never happened. Eventually, Lance got a little fed up.

“So, how did you want to go about having this nap?” Lance asked, leaning closer to Keith with the pretense that he didn’t want to interrupt the movie.

Keith stared at him out of the corner of his eye, shuffling around in his seat awkwardly. “Uh… I didn’t really… think that far ahead…” he whispered out, embarrassed.

“It wouldn’t be much different than the other night,” Lance shrugged. Except in his mind, he wasn’t shrugging, he was screaming.

The way they had slept in Lance’s bed before had been an act of grief-stricken need to reassure himself and remind himself that Keith was alive. It had been the most desperate Lance had ever been for anything. Not because he loved Keith and was nervous to be near him, but because he loved Keith and was consumed with an unyielding fear that Keith would leave again at any moment if Lance didn’t hold on tight enough, like a child letting go of a balloon at a fair.

Keith slowly nodded his head down as if he was thinking that concept through. His head nodding became a little bit more self-assured and confident before he turned to Lance with the expression of utmost determination. “Yeah… Right, you’re right,” he announced. Then he was shuffling closer to Lance, who startled a little bit.

Keith settled down onto the couch beside where Lance was sitting. He rested his head against one of the decorative throw pillows on the couch with his face to the ceiling. Lance, now confined to the small space between Keith and the back of the couch, with his legs tucked up, stared wide-eyed at Keith.

“Okay, so, you’ve hogged the entire couch. Now, what’re you expecting me to do…?” Lance asked uncertainly.

Keith patted a gloved hand to his chest. “You have to lay down to nap, Lance, I thought even you’d know that,” Keith snarked.

Lance scowled at Keith, “I know more about napping than you do, Mr. Trains-Instead-Of-Sleeping!” He scooted down the couch to get comfortable with his head on Keith’s chest anyways, still arguing as he did.

“I sleep!” Keith objected. His hand instantly tangled itself in Lance’s hair before either of them could even register it.

“No, you don’t. You sweat instead of sleep. That’s why your skin is so oily!” Lance countered. “My skin is the pinnacle of perfection. Y’know why?”

“Because you lather forty layers of icing on your face every night?”

Lance scoffed, _“Exfoliation,_ Keith.”

“Well, looks like you’re napping without your face creams,” Keith shot back.

“And we’re all sweaty from training too. Gross,” Lance complained.

Keith sighed, relaxing farther into the couch. “We can shower later,” he mumbled.

Lance was almost positive his heart skipped several beats in that moment. His eyes widened and his face flushed instantly. He was grateful that Keith couldn’t see his face from their current position, which, now that Lance thought about it, really wasn’t helping his case at all. He raised his head to stare into Keith’s eyes, not fully realizing how close they really were until that moment. Keith, although scowling now, was extremely pretty up close and Lance had to restrict his eyes movement from staring at the red paladin’s lips like he wanted to.

“Not together!” Keith cried, his face heating up to match Lance’s. “I didn’t mean together! I meant separately! Whatever, never mind, go to sleep. I’m going to sleep,” Keith huffed, closing his eyes as if to block out Lance’s hopelessly intrigued, yet embarrassed, face. Lance decided after a moment of staring at Keith’s face, that he was also going to sleep as well, because napping with Keith was an opportunity that he couldn’t pass up.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

“How did you make it float?” Keith asked, bopping his hand against the colour-changing light he had retrieved from Lance’s room earlier. It bobbed in the air and spun as he caressed his fingers over it. The purple hue washed over his hand, filling the entirety of the cluttered room.

“I found some really strong magnets back on that planet, Noco Morath,” Pidge answered from where she was seated on her bed, which Keith was leaning against the side of as he sat on the floor.

“What about the colour changing?” Keith questioned, leaning closer to stare at it before scrunching his face at the bright light and backing away.

Pidge snickered at that. “It has coloured crystals in there and a rotating light,” Pidge explained, using the simplest terms she could think of. “Do you like it?” she asked curiously, tilting her head to the side to catch the corner of Keith’s eye.

Keith couldn’t help the small smile that played at his lips as he batted the hovering light around. “I… I love it,” he breathed.

It had been around two hours since Lance and Keith had woken from their nap to go shower – not together, of course! – and somewhere along the way, Pidge had managed to track Keith down, asking if he could come help her with a project she was working on. That was a farce though, Pidge didn’t need help. She just really wanted to be around Keith and to apologize to him properly. It had kind of been her fault that he had died in the first place. The light was a good place to start, she figured.

“Keith…?” she muttered nervously.

At the small, insecure utterance of his name, Keith turned his upper body to face Pidge. “Hmm?”

“When we were out there… on that mission…” she swallowed around the lump in her throat as the memories of that day came back to her. “I wasn’t thinking… I just walked right out that room without a second thought and you– you saved my life. Thank you.”

Keith’s smile disappeared as she spoke, fading until all that was left was a horrified look of surprise. “I–”

Pidge didn’t let him continue. “I’m really sorry… You don’t understand how sorry I am… I didn’t mean for this… for any of this, to happen…” she stared down at her hands, jamming her fingers together before quickly pulling them apart and starting again in an anxious gesture.

There was a concerned frown at his face then which made Pidge worry even more. “Pidge,” Keith said in a soft voice, turning around to fully face her, “I know you are. I’m not mad at you and I’m not going to hold it over you.”

“But I stood there,” Pidge hissed, shaking her head, no longer able to meet Keith’s eye. “I just fucking stood there…”

“That’s okay. If you’re safe because of what I did then I don’t regret doing it, and I’d do it again,” Keith reiterated, ignoring Pidge’s mutterings.

Pidge could feel tears prickling in her eyes again and she quickly tried to wipe them away before Keith could see, but unfortunately, Keith noticed. He shifted around on the ground until he was kneeling in front of her. His gloved hands came up to her arms, gently guiding her hands away from her face. There was a look of worry and confusion on his face as Pidge stared at him through her bleary, watery eyes.

“No,” she choked out.

“What?” Keith raised an eyebrow, clearly unsure of what to say.

Without really thinking too much about it, Pidge shifted her hand around in Keith’s hold until their hands slotted together. “No! Don’t sacrifice yourself for me! Please!” she pleaded.

Keith frowned and his eyes softened, almost looking pained in the way he shifted his expression. It didn’t sit well with Pidge. It was the look of someone who didn’t want to tell a painful truth to someone who obviously needed to hear it. “I can’t promise that, Pidge,” he sighed, squeezing her hand a little bit harder.

“Keith, you’re important. You’re so important. Please,” she sobbed, letting the tears stream down her face openly now.

“I’m so sorry,” Keith whispered after a moment, his eyes glossy too, “but you can always find someone else to pilot Red. And what’s done is done.” He hesitantly brought his free hand up to straighten her glasses for her.

“You’re important to _us,_ Keith! Who cares about Voltron or the lions?! We probably could find someone else to pilot Red, but that– that doesn’t matter! We don’t _need_ someone else and we don’t _want_ someone else! Keith, you’re my brother!” she shook his hand violently, crushing it under her grip as she angrily yelled at him with tears flowing. “I just…! I can’t _do this…!”_ she finished, succumbing to her tears once again.

Keith seemed to falter at her words, his eyes widening and his lips parting ever-so-slightly as if he were about to say something before being hit with that bomb. He swallowed heavily as his eyes searched hers. As he quickly bit on the inside of his lip and rubbed his thumb over Pidge’s hand, a single tear escaped his eye, trailing down his cheek and under his chin. Keith ducked his face back toward the floor in hopes to hide it, even though Pidge still saw. Then, he reached down to pick up the floating light as it glowed a bright green and he placed it on the bed next to her.

“When I was out in the desert,” Keith began, his voice shaky, “there wasn’t much of anything. I was… really alone out there… I could always feel the energy of Blue, even though I didn’t know it was Blue at the time, but there were still times when I wondered if I had actually just gone crazy after Shiro’s–” he swallowed, “Shiro’s disappearance.” Pidge listened intently, still sniffling and scrubbing at her eyes as she did. “I’ve been alone for most of my life, but never _that_ alone. And sometimes, when it was too much, I’d just sit on the roof of my shack and watch the sunrise or sunset.” He smiled softly at the light, “Your light sort of mimics that… It makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.”

Pidge, who hadn’t taken her eyes off of Keith, glanced to the floating light she had created. It filtered through the many colours, lulling her and calming her in the same way that it did for Keith. She could almost see it; the sunset of rich oranges and intense reds over the desert plains from atop Keith’s shack, or the beautiful purples and mesmerizing yellows painted across the tops of the dunes and hoodoos as the sun raised itself above the horizon.

After some time, she realized that she had finished crying, her tears still stained to her face, but no longer streaming from her eyes. She sniffled again, jamming the heel of her hand into each of her eyes to wipe away the wet feeling. After, she took a deep breath, her eyes still closed as she refreshed her lungs. The heavy weight of guilt and sadness that had been plaguing her since Keith’s death slowly began to ebb away, leaving her with a rejuvenating sense of relaxation and acceptance.

When she finally opened her eyes again, Keith was still there, holding her hand and staring at the light with a distant, hazy expression. He turned away quickly, offering a small, wavering smile to Pidge. “Good?” he asked.

Pidge nodded, feeling like a young child suddenly, “Yeah, I’m fine now. Thanks.”

Keith nodded with her, not saying anything. He was the type to be perfectly content with silence, just sitting in the same room as someone was more than enough. Of course, Pidge could tell that Keith still liked to connect with others, it was just difficult for him since he had no idea how to go about doing that, so he stuck to companionable silence. Pidge was also the type to enjoy the peace and quiet of being near someone but neither her nor them expecting any sort of exchange.

This time, however, Pidge just felt like she needed to continue talking to Keith, like silence wouldn’t be enough.

“Are you cold?” Pidge asked, trying to change the topic as she noticed Keith wasn’t wearing his usual jacket.

“Not really,” he answered, resting his head on the side of the bed next to Pidge’s knee. Their hands were still connected, but mostly because Pidge refused to let go.

Pidge glanced to the front entrance of the room. “We can turn up the temperature,” she suggested.

Keith just hummed non-committedly, letting his eyes slip shut, “No, it’s fine.”

“You’re not wearing your jacket,” she commented.

“Yeah, I left it on the training deck, I think,” Keith sighed. “I’ll get it later.”

Pidge absentmindedly bobbed the light up and down with her free hand as she muttered into the glowing room, “It’s not like it keeps you warm anyway,” she huffed a laugh.

Keith cracked open an eye to glare at her as he mumbled, “It’s plenty warm.”

“Maybe it would be if you had the rest of it,” Pidge snickered.

Keith scoffed, “You’ve worn it before when you thought I wasn’t looking, I know the truth.”

Pidge’s eyes suddenly widened, not ready to so suddenly be called out. “Only one time!” she defended.

“That’s bullshit,” Keith muttered, closing his eyes again and smiling.

“At least it fits me!” Pidge pouted, yanking her hand away from Keith’s.

Keith just laughed, “You like my jacket.”

“It’s dumb,” she countered.

“You can have it,” Keith suddenly murmured. His eyes were still closed and his smile was still in place.

Pidge was stunned into silence, instantly whipping her head around to stare at Keith. There was no joke there, he wasn’t being sarcastic either. “What…?”

“It’s yours if you want it,” Keith clarified.

Pidge just continued to stare at him. That jacket was one of the few things that Keith owned, one of the few things that Keith brought with him to space. He wore it all the time even though there were burns and holes all over it, the leather was chipped and scratched in some places and the colour was fading in other places, the zipper hardly worked half the time, and it was sort of ugly with its yellow stripe and its cropped lower half. Keith loved it anyways, never letting anyone get too close to it, especially when they went on missions where they were able to wear casual clothes.

And he was just giving it to her like it was nothing, like he had several others of the same style hidden away somewhere.

“Keith… I can’t just take it…” Pidge argued weakly.

“You’re not taking it, I’m giving it to you,” he answered smoothly, sounding as though it wasn’t a big deal.

Pidge furrowed her eyebrows, “It’s your jacket!”

“Not anymore. Now it’s yours,” Keith reiterated. His eyes were still closed as he slithered his arms around his head to act as a pillow.

“I don’t want it,” Pidge stated, almost forcefully. Everything about this felt so trusting and yet so betraying at the same time.

“…Okay,” Keith muttered, “but if you change your mind, it’s still yours.”

Pidge no longer wanted to continue speaking to Keith. She grabbed her computer off the shelf that was positioned next to her bed and began furiously typing, not really focusing fully on what she was doing but attempting to distance herself from whatever weird mood Keith was in, because it didn’t feel right.

Eventually, the silence settled over them like a warm blanket, and although it stifled Pidge a little bit more than usual, she still found comfort in it. They remained there for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're feeling like you wanna maybe hurt a little bit more, listen to Brother by Kodaline and think about Keith and Shiro


	4. To Make a Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonding in this chapter: Shiro and Hunk

If there was one thing that the Castle of Lions was lacking, it was reading material. There weren’t a lot of books in the castle since the Alteans were a primarily technologically based society back in the day, and of the very few that the castle did have, none were in English. Of course, it was good to learn Altean, especially since everything on the ship was in Altean, but sometimes, all someone really wanted to do was sit back with an easy read and a mug of milk, reading without worry.

Shiro was that someone.

It had been two days since the ill-fated mission and he still hadn’t gotten over it. Although he tried to convince himself that it was all okay and Keith was alright, he could still hear Pidge’s screams and he could still see Keith’s mangled neck every time he closed his eyes. He’d almost be thankful that it was blocking out his recurring memories of the Galra prison, but he wasn’t, because this wasn’t better. His brother had died.

In order to distract himself, Shiro had decided to employ his old tactic of reading and drinking milk. He had a translator, given to him curtesy of Pidge and Hunk, which he used to read the Altean books. The one he was currently on wasn’t that bad, telling a tale of a man whose tattoos held visions of the future. He hadn’t read it before, unlike every other book on the ship, so that was at least a plus. With one leg kicked up over his knee as he sank into the back of the couch, he was able to fully enjoy the storyline.

Shiro was about halfway through his book by the time the doors to the lounge opened and someone finally entered. It was still early in the morning, so Shiro didn’t really expect anybody to be up except for one other person who he knew never slept well.

“Keith!” Shiro smiled, sitting up a little bit straighter.

Keith’s lip quirked up at that and he quickly walked over to sit beside Shiro on the couch with his legs crossed underneath him. “Hey,” he greeted.

“Did you just wake up?” Shiro took a sip of his milk.

Keith hummed, “Yeah, not too long ago. How long’ve you been up?”

“About two vargas or so. I’ve just been reading my book,” Shiro held up his book for Keith to see.

After inspecting the title and the cover art, Keith commented, “Sounds interesting.”

“It’s not too bad. How’re you feeling?” Shiro asked, dogearing the corner of his book and placing it next to him along with the handheld translator.

He and Keith had long ago established a system wherein they would discuss anything that was bothering both of them. It always began with one of them asking the same nonintrusive question. Whether the other felt like sharing or not was up to them, but the point was that they both knew, subtly, that the other was there for them. It also served the purpose of checking up on the other when they were around people in a way that wouldn’t draw any attention. Just a simple ‘how’re you feeling?’ and they would know that they were being obvious and open with their worries clear on their face.

“Fine, a little tired,” Keith nodded. Shiro quirked an eyebrow, urging him to continue. Keith shifted his head from side to side languidly as if he were deciding how much to say. “I spent yesterday with Lance and Pidge. It’s just… more interaction than I’m used to,” he confided.

Shiro’s smile brightened at the fact that Keith had decided to share. He tended to share less than Shiro, but when he did open up, it was with full and serious trust, and Shiro felt warm whenever Keith gave him that. “That’s good though! Strengthening your bonds with the team is a great step forward, Keith.”

Keith’s eyebrows furrowed slightly and he stared down at his hands, avoiding Shiro’s eyes. His lips were downturned as he spoke, “I know, I know… If I don’t strengthen our bonds then we can’t form Voltron, I get it. But it’s just… difficult… sometimes…” Keith mumbled out, looking for the right words as he spoke.

“That’s true too, but I didn’t mean for Voltron, Keith,” Shiro huffed a small laugh, turning in his seat more to better face Keith, whose attention was fully on him. “I meant that it’s good to see you opening up and making friends.”

Keith ducked his head back down a little bit. “We’re not really friends…” he susurrated.

“You don’t want to be friends with the others?” Shiro questioned, confused and worried.

Keith’s head shot up, meeting Shiro’s eye with a desperate sort of panic. He rushed out an answer, “No, no! I do! I do… I just…”

“You just?” Shiro urged, handing his mug of milk over to Keith, who readily took it.

Keith seemed to fumble around with his words for a moment before he sighed, “I don’t think they want to be my friends… I don’t know how to be friends with someone anyways…”

“Keith, of course they want to be your friends. You’re practically family to everyone on this ship. And you know what? I think you’re better at making friends than you give yourself credit for. You’ve come a long way since we first joined Voltron and you’ve gotten a lot more comfortable around others,” Shiro smiled warmly at Keith, gently patting a hand to his shoulder as a gesture of comfort while the red paladin sipped the milk. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks, Shiro,” Keith genuinely smiled into the mug. “I’m trying.”

“I know you are, and it shows!” Shiro beamed. “Everyone cares about you, so you don’t need to worry so much. We all just wish you’d stop throwing yourself into danger so readily,” he chastised.

Keith, no longer smiling, groaned like it was the most painful thing to have to hear from anyone. “I don’t want to have this conversation again! You never stop reminding me!” he whined.

“Because it’s important, Keith! Look what happened on the last mission. You can’t keep throwing yourself into battles like that all the time.”

“I _didn’t!_ I was helping Pidge, it’s fine!”

“It’s not fine!”

Keith groaned, draping himself over the arm of the couch, “Are you my brother or my dad?!”

“I’m just concerned!” Shiro scolded.

Keith angrily took another sip of the milk that Shiro had given him before handing it back to Shiro. “Don’t you have a book to read?” he huffed.

Shiro just laughed, taking a drink and returning to his book. Keith just remained in his spot on the couch with his legs tucked up underneath him and his shoulders hiked up while Shiro read. He didn’t bother to move, just closing his eyes after a moment and relaxing in the presence of his brother. Neither of them said anything, just content with the conversation they had already had.

The air around them was soothing and secure, wrapping around Shiro. He felt relieved, something he didn’t feel very often, and he had never been more grateful to be able to sit next to his brother on a couch in complete silence.

He thought about Keith’s worries with the others. Keith had never had much luck making friends, mostly because he didn’t know how to approach them or what to say to keep a conversation going. It also didn’t help that Keith’s general aura was one of anger, always appearing as if he might punch the next person to talk to him. That wasn’t what he was like though. Sure, he got angry easier than others and he didn’t trust or open up as quickly as most, but that didn’t mean he was actively avoiding making friends, he was just scared.

For Shiro to see Keith letting people into his space and into his mind, people like Pidge and Lance, was an extremely significant thing for him. The change in Keith as he came to learn that not everyone out there was going to leave him and that he could have a family, that change was a vital shift in Keith’s life and Shiro was thrilled that he was able to be there to see it.

Just when Shiro was getting to a particularly good part of his book, Keith decided to speak up again, “Shiro, since the Marmora blades only activate for Galra blood, they wouldn’t work for you, right?” he asked in a small voice.

Shiro glanced at Keith out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t think so…”

“Even with your arm?” Keith pondered.

“The Blades said it had to be blood, so probably not,” Shiro slowly closed his book again, keeping his finger on his page. “Why’re you asking?”

There was a pause as Keith continued to stare at the far wall. “You know how to fight with a knife?” he questioned.

“Well enough,” Shiro answered. He was sitting up straighter now so he could better see Keith.

“I was just wondering…” Keith nodded. He turned to Shiro with a small smile.

Shiro tried to read it and tell if there was anything off about it, something which could allude to Keith’s real reason for asking, but there was none. He squinted before slowly shifting back against the couch to take another sip of milk, never taking his eyes off Keith. “Alright then… You know you can talk to me whenever, right?”

“How’s your book?” Keith inquired, completely ignoring what Shiro was saying.

Shiro stared at Keith’s face for another minute, hoping to persuade him into opening up, but nothing came of it. He sighed before launching into an explanation on the plot and how the man told stories of the future through his tattoos. Keith listened the entire time, asking questions here and there while also laughing at some of the more absurd plot points. In the end, he decided it was a book worth looking into, then stole the rest of Shiro’s milk and left, leaving him to his book.

Shiro felt lighter, yet also bothered by the oddity within their exchange.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Space ingredients, Hunk had come to realize, were quite similar to Earth ingredients in a lot of ways. Generally, Hunk could find the exact flavour he was looking for every time he needed it, the only problems came with the texture and how well it mixed with the other ingredients he wanted to use. This had been a major issue when he had first come to the Castle of Lions, but he was getting a lot better at cooking with them after being on the ship for a few years.

At that moment, Hunk happened to be baking. Most of his day to day activities included working with the lions, working with Pidge, hanging out with Lance, training, or cooking. He didn’t do a lot of baking though, not unless he was feeling stressed about something. On this day in particular, that’s exactly what Hunk was feeling.

The entire incident with Keith had brought Hunk’s anxiety and worry for his teammates up to a ten when it honestly just needed to be at a three at most. So, he baked, hoping to dispel his nervous energy and upsetting thoughts. His goal was brownies, although they weren’t exactly turning out the way he wanted them to. He stared down at the massive clumps of sickly blue he had created before huffing an irritated sigh and moving to toss them. Hunk turned, absolutely not ready for Keith to be standing right there staring at him expectantly.

A startled squeak escaped Hunk as he nearly flung the entire tray of disastrous brownies into the air. Keith just stepped back, seemingly equally as caught off guard. “Dude, don’t do that! I didn’t even hear you come in!” Hunk pushed a hand to his chest, feeling his heart rapidly beating.

Keith glanced away quickly, looking sheepish. “Sorry,” he said, “I thought you did.”

Hunk stared at Keith for a moment, taking in the way he shuffled his feet and avoided direct eye contact for too long. Keith was nervous to be there, talking to Hunk. They had talked to each other tons of times and had even hung out once or twice, just the two of them. Most of the time it was in a group with Lance and Pidge, but even then, Keith really only stuck around Lance. Or maybe Lance stuck around Keith and just hoarded him away from the others as a result of being in love with the red paladin; it was a tough call.

He set his messed-up brownie tray on the counter, then stepped closer to Keith, offering him a bright, kind smile. “It’s no problem! You just surprised me, is all! So, what do you need, Keith?” he asked.

Keith glanced around awkwardly once again, still acting as though he weren’t really allowed to be there, in that room with Hunk. “Uh… Nothing, I was just... checking up on you… I guess…” Keith responded, slowly backing away and looking angrier and angrier with himself at every word he spoke.

“Did you want to help me?” Hunk quickly asked before Keith could disappear from the room entirely.

As much as he wasn’t sure that Keith would even be a help to him at all, he still welcomed the company and the opportunity to bond with the elusive boy. It also helped to have Keith near, lowering his anxiety just by seeing that he was, in fact, alive and well. And if it made Keith happy to have a friend, then Hunk was all the more thrilled to embrace Keith with open arms and show him the ins and outs of cooking and baking.

Keith instantly brightened, a mix between excited and surprised. Then, his face slowly scrunched up again and apprehension coloured its way over Keith’s features. “I’m not very good at making…” he glanced to the pan that Hunk had placed on the counter, “…that…”

“They’re supposed to be brownies,” Hunk cringed, following Keith’s pained gaze. “I’m not very good at making them either. We can work together and figure it out! What do you say?” Hunk smiled again, shoving the tray down the counter and out of Keith’s view.

Keith gave him a look as though he were waiting for Hunk to laugh and tell him that he had been joking and really didn’t need Keith’s help, but it never came, Hunk just waited patiently. And slowly, Keith smiled. It was small and it was tentative, but he smiled. “Yeah, okay.”

Hunk immediately got to work, shuffling everything around and setting it all up so they could bake together. All different kinds of ingredients were set out, some that he was certain were going to be needed when they finally figured out some feasible brownies, and some that he hadn’t even used in his attempts yet. Utensils and bowls were lined out, all ready to be used. Most importantly, Hunk’s previous brownie failure was set aside so that neither of them had to look at it, because frankly, it was really giving Hunk some weird vibes.

Once Hunk had retrieved an apron for Keith and gotten him to wash his hands and tie his hair back, they were all ready to go.

“Alright,” Hunk began, Keith listening intently, “when you make Earth brownies, you need sugar, flour, chocolate, eggs, butter, and a little bit of salt. But we’re not making Earth brownies because we don’t have any of those things. Instead, we have space ingredients!” He gestured enthusiastically to the counter of various food materials that they could use. “So, we have to figure out how to make space brownies out of these.”

“Are you sure we can even eat these?” Keith asked, picking up a piece of something which Coran had called ax’horga and experimentally popping it into his mouth. Pleasantly surprised, he hummed, “Never mind.”

“Oh yeah, don’t worry. I taste-tested everything and I can confirm it’s all edible. We just need to figure out how to make them into a brownie…” Hunk stared contemplatively at all the ingredients.

Furrowing his brows, Keith stared intensely at the materials before them. Almost a little too intensely, as though he were determining their weakness to exploit them. Hunk just watched on, seeing the gears turning in Keith’s head as he tried to solve a puzzle that he had never been faced with before, a new challenge. It was kind of amazing how seriously Keith took everything.

Keith tilted his head in question as he looked up at Hunk, “Can’t you just reverse engineer a brownie?”

Hunk frowned, “Usually we could, but since we have substitute ingredients, it won’t be that easy. I’ve tried taking the closest things to Earth’s materials and just using those, but that sort of crashed and burned. And I tried again with different measurements and oven temperatures, but those didn’t work out either. The last one I tried was by making each individual ingredient out of what we have and then mixing it together to make a brownie, but you can see for yourself how well that turned out.” He jabbed his thumb back towards the abandoned tray of festering blue ooze.

As Hunk explained his trial and error processes to Keith, the boy picked up a cup of leaf-like things known as yoyvyok. He ripped off a piece of the leaf, chewing it in his mouth for a moment. His eyebrows narrowed even further. He then grabbed the jar with a purple cream in it labelled tydh. He continued to inspect every material, shuffling them around and taste-testing them all. Each thing he tried brought on a new look of concentration to his face and Hunk found it sort of interesting.

“Do you wanna share with the class, dude?” Hunk asked after he had finished his tangent, noticing that Keith had begun to group things.

“Maybe…” he answered softly, focused on the jars in his hands. “We could use this and this,” he pointed to two bowls in a small pile, “to make something like butter. I think. It would definitely have the texture of butter… And if you put these three together,” he eagerly scooped three jars up and pushed them closer to Hunk, “it tastes a little bit like sugar.” He pointed to another cup at the back of the groups, “This one here can be ground up into a flour, I used to do that on the farm with my dad, so I can do that one. We’ve got eggs. And this one,” he held up a jar, “almost tastes like salt, but you said we only need a little bit.”

Hunk listened intently to everything Keith said, taking into account all the suggestions Keith had. They didn’t sound completely outlandish, and some of them were combinations that Hunk himself hadn’t even thought about until then. He smiled excitedly, feeling as though brownies were already within their grasp.

“Keith, man, you’re a genius!” Hunk exclaimed. Keith shyly smiled. “We have to try it!” Hunk set to work right away, grabbing the three bowls that Keith had set aside as being the ones to make butter. “I can try making butter, and you said you can make the flour, right?” he grinned.

“I’m on it.” With a gentle and calm expression, Keith nodded his agreement before collecting a blunted spoon and grounding it down into the bowl of what would soon be flour.

They worked together, attempting to make their individual ingredients. Keith didn’t say a whole lot, which Hunk attributed to him not knowing what to say. That was fine though, Hunk just filled in the silences for him, talking about all sorts of things from his favourite foods to make to stories of what he, Lance, and Pidge used to get up to at the Garrison. With each story that Hunk told, Keith seemed to open up more, smiling freely, asking questions, and even laughing a few times. It warmed Hunk up to know that he could connect with Keith like this, and while working on something like baking together too.

The brownie mix was already in the oven by the time Hunk thought to mention something which had been in the back of his mind for some time. “Oh! I just remembered!” Hunk suddenly shouted, turning to Keith from his position in front of the oven. “I haven’t gotten a chance to tell you yet, but Pidge and I have been working on different upgrades for the lions. Green already has the cloaking device, right, but we were trying to see if there was anything else we can add.”

“What’d you come up with?” Keith asked, leaning against the counter across from the oven with his arms crossed in typical Keith fashion.

Hunk grinned, “I think you’re going to like this, but we found a way to use your firepower while we form Voltron. So, it’s kind of like a fire sword thing.”

Keith’s face lit up instantly, smiling excitedly. “No way! Are you serious?”

“Yup! It might be a bust though, Pidge and I still haven’t tested it. As long as it doesn’t blow up Red then it’s a win in my book,” Hunk nodded.

Rather than look scared by the suggestion, Keith just seemed to get even more excited, “That’s so cool!”

Laughing, Hunk slapped a hand to Keith’s back affectionately. “I’m glad you think so, man, because you’re going to have to test it.”

“I can definitely do that,” Keith beamed. “How are you guys so good at that stuff?”

“Lots of practice and passion. I think Pidge is just a genius though because she’s crazy-smart for her age,” Hunk replied. “I’ve always loved machines and working with them, so I guess it comes easier to me than others. One of my mothers was pretty handy with mechanics and she taught me a bit of what I know too.” He leaned over a little bit to better catch Keith’s eye. “I could show you a few tricks if you wanted.”

With a soft huff of laughter, Keith eagerly nodded, “I’d like that, thanks.”

“Mechanics are pretty cool. It’s like solving a puzzle and I really like that aspect,” Hunk stared off into the middle distance, reminiscing to Keith his love of machines. “Sometimes it gets a little dusty though and then I get a bunch of gunk from the lions in my face, but otherwise, they’re my favourite to work on!” he laughed.

“Don’t you have something to cover your face with?” Keith tilted his head.

“No, but I should totally get something,” Hunk frowned. “Otherwise I’m going to have breathing problems.”

Keith hesitated for a moment, words on the tip of his tongue which he quickly bit back before they could enter the air. Hunk watched him closely, raising an eyebrow in question of what he was about to say. Keith paused for another moment, scowling angrily, then finally spoke, “I have a bandanna you can have. It’s clean, I cleaned it. But I just… I don’t need it, and you’d need it more than me, so… y’know…” he shuffled his feet, staring hard at the ground and crossing his arms even more aggressively.

“Really? Thanks, Keith! I could really use a bandanna!” Hunk instantly cheered. Without warning him, Hunk pulled Keith into a big hug. Keith seemed a little shaken at that, not ready for the suddenness of the gesture, but he quickly eased into it, chuckling and hugging Hunk back, albeit awkwardly and with unsure hands.

As they both pulled back, there was a ding from the oven. Altean ovens were significantly faster than Earth ovens, but they did the same work. Hunk considered this to be a positive since it meant he could see his creations sooner, but it also felt like something was missing when he didn’t have to wait an hour or so for his baking to come out.

Hunk zealously popped open the oven, slipping his mitts on in the process so he could remove the pan from its shelf. As he slid the brownies out of the oven and into the light of the kitchen, he oohed enthusiastically. Keith watched over his shoulder, investigating the food he had helped to make.

They weren’t the most appetizing in appearance, that was for sure. The same sickly blue colour that had painted the last three batches Hunk had made was still there, that hadn’t changed, but they weren’t clumping and they weren’t oozing everywhere, so that was a plus at least.

“They look great!” Hunk exclaimed. After placing it down on the counter, Hunk tossed his mitts aside and got out a knife out of the drawer to cut some slices out.

“Do they?” Keith muttered, glaring at the blue messes.

Hunk snickered, “For space brownies, yes. C’mon, let’s give them a go!” He gingerly sawed a piece out for himself before doing the same for Keith, plucking them out and handing the other piece to the red paladin next to him. Keith accepted it with a look of trepidation. They weren’t too hot as Hunk poked it with his fingers which was good since he wasn’t ready to wait. “At the same time?” Hunk grinned.

“Sure…” Keith answered, swallowing nervously at the blue square in his palm.

“One… two… three,” Hunk counted, instantly taking a huge bite right as he finished speaking, Keith not far behind him. He chewed for a moment, letting the flavours really reach him. His lips pursed and his eyes slowly squinted down at the brownie, if it could even be called that. He turned to Keith, seeing the same look of pain and uncertainty on his face as he slowly chewed before quickly swallowing and letting out a shiver of disgust.

“That felt wrong…” Keith whispered, glaring pointedly at his brownie.

Hunk swallowed the rest of his bite, coughing a little bit afterwards. “Okay, so those…” he trailed off.

“Were really bad,” Keith finished for him, looking dejected and angry at the same time.

“They weren’t good, no. But they were definitely better than the ones I made before,” Hunk smiled encouragingly. “I think we just need to play around with the measurements and then we’ve got it, Keith!”

A small snort escaped Keith as he glanced back at the failed brownies. “Then let’s get started,” he smirked.

Hunk didn’t need a second invitation, immediately beginning to shove aside brownie batch #4 to begin the next ones.

The pair spent the rest of the day making brownies, getting closer and closer to the authentic taste every time, but just missing the mark a little bit. The important thing to Hunk, though, wasn’t the brownies, it was that he had a chance to hang out with Keith and they both had fun. He saw Keith off around dinner time when he went to get washed up, and waved goodnight to Keith as he passed the red paladin on his way to his room that night too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is honestly mostly fluff, I lied to you all.


	5. Pride and Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonding in this chapter: Allura and Coran

“Red likes speed, so don’t be afraid to really push the limits,” Keith smirked at the vast openness of space before glancing back to the pilot seat.

Allura nodded, a grin matching Keith’s on her face, “I’ll certainly keep that in mind.” And with that, she pushed the throttle lever forward a little bit more, effectively speeding them both up. A trill of excitement ran up Allura’s spine. Usually, she wasn’t really one for speed and fancy tricks, especially in battle, but with no priorities or missions, putting the pedal to the floor was a lot of fun. Keith and Red’s shared adrenaline junkie tendencies also seemed to be rubbing off onto her the longer she spent with them.

Earlier in the day, Keith had – rather awkwardly – offered Allura lion flying lessons if she wanted them. Normally, Allura had other things to do to keep her busy, but she had been itching to spend time with Keith ever since the mission that had gone wrong. Seeing Keith’s body in the pod, lifeless and dead with a gaping hole in his neck had really set into stone just how fragile each and every quintant was together. She didn’t want to waste any of it. She had agreed to the lessons, cracked out her paladin armour, and set to learning.

It took quite a while for her and Red to bond. Allura knew that bonding was an essential part of flying the lions and she constantly reminded the paladins of just how important it was, urging them to bond with the lions, as well as each other, every chance they got. But she hadn’t really understood just how much really went into the process of connecting with a lion until she tried it out for herself. Red was a fireball of energy, much like Keith was, and she had lots of opinions and thoughts to offer Allura once they were on the same wavelength. It was a little startling at first, but Keith had just said she would get used to the feeling of sharing her mind eventually, even insisting that it was a comfort.

So, that was how the two of them ended up in Red, flying around the castle for the twentieth time, laughing and trying tricks as Keith taught Allura exactly how to run Red, what kind of things she liked, what kind of thing she didn’t like.

Keith was the red paladin for a reason, chosen by the Red Lion for his fiery temperament, fearless instincts, and his impulsive strategizing. Allura wasn’t exactly the same as Keith in those regards, much more of a calm and collected, think-things-through kind of person, but she could let go and follow her gut easily enough that Red had taken a liking to her.

“How do you do the firepower?” Allura asked, excitedly glancing around the dashboard as they flew through the sky.

Keith, who was in his armour, unclipped the bayard that was at his side and handed it over to Allura. “You need to let Red know what you’re looking for, and then you use this,” he instructed vaguely, handing over the red bayard. Allura quickly took it, not wanting to remove her eyes from the sky for too long. “She’s in your headspace, so as long as you make it clear in your mind what your intentions are, she’ll be ready every time.”

“Alright, so I just tell her… with my mind...” Allura slowed the lion down, focusing her attention on bonding and communicating with Red. They hadn’t bonded very much in the past, but Red seemed to be easy to get along with as far as Allura was concerned. She smiled as a light purring filled her head. Perhaps it was the fact that her father used to be the red paladin, but she and Red were becoming fast friends.

Keith chuckled from his standing position next to the seat. He could feel everything that Allura was feeling from Red since they were still connected, although he couldn’t feel the inside of her head, just as she couldn’t feel his. Red’s enthusiastic and welcoming, yet slightly challenging, demeanor seemed to put Keith in a good mood too and Allura couldn’t help but find all the happiness to be extremely infectious.

Suddenly, a panel in the dashboard shifted up. There was a place beneath it where something was clearly meant to fit, flashing lights pulsating towards it, drawing her attention in. Allura glanced up at Keith, who only smiled and nodded his head toward the opening. Giving a brief glance to the red bayard in her hand, she smirked and clicked it into the slot, pressing down and turning it. Fire instantly began shooting out of Red’s mouth, billowing out into space and lighting up the darkness around them. Allura hollered, cheering as she flew Red a little bit faster once more. Keith laughed behind her, amused by her enjoyment of Red’s ability.

Quickly, Allura became more confident, twirling Red around through space to create patterns with the fire. Long swooping dips and rapid spins, directing Red around in a manner which, although not nearly as skillful as Keith’s flying, was still pretty good for her first time in a lion. Red seemed impressed, pushing and pulling her around in a kind of test. Keith had to hang on for a few of them, yelping when Allura made sudden turns or flips. It filled Allura with pride to know that she could throw him off in his own lion, laughing as she did. Red seemed equally as amused.

“Are you trying to launch me across the cockpit?” Keith growled after the fifth sharp turn.

“Of course not, Keith! I would never!” she giggled, not sounding believable in the least.

For a brief moment, Allura’s focus wavered as she got a little too comfortable in her spot as the Red Lion’s pilot. The castle quickly came into view, Red’s firepower never ceasing. Allura, in a blind panic, shrieked and slammed her hands down on the controls. They moved faster towards the castle, twirling at highspeed through space.

Keith, who was also screeching, lurched forward to rip the controls back, wrenching them out of the path of the castle. His other hand flung out toward the bayard still in the dashboard. They were moving too quickly, causing Keith to stumble in his sudden alarm. He landed with his stomach on the princess’s lap, one hand hugging the controls to his side and the other hand catching on his bayard in time to whip it to the other side of the lion and effectively end the stream of fire. Allura gripped the armrests of the chair for dear life, grunting when Keith made contact against her legs.

Everything ended abruptly, Red just coasting along in space, no fire to speak of. Keith stayed sprawled out on Allura’s legs, in shock. Not that Allura particularly cared either since she was also in shock. They didn’t move for a moment, both just wide-eyed and staring straight ahead while they caught their breath. Allura could hear her heart pounding in her ears, almost as loud as the adrenaline filled panting from both her and Keith.

“I didn’t mean to do that…” Allura muttered.

“I should teach you to aim first…” Keith answered. His face was nearly in the dashboard.

“Yes, that would be helpful…” she nodded, still shaken.

Finally, Keith managed to pull himself off of Allura, offering his apologies for leaping over her in the first place, to which she graciously accepted, stating again that it wasn’t her intention to nearly take out half the ship.

It was quite embarrassing to be in charge of helping to run the ship and yet freaking out and nearly taking out said ship while flying a different ship. Keith didn’t seem to make a big deal out of it though, continuing along with his teachings as if it hadn’t happened in the first place.

He showed her how to do various maneuvers and flips, explaining the ways in which to fly smoother and faster, how to make quick, sharp turns without throwing herself from the seat or misjudging the distances. His way of explaining things was slightly awkward, as if he wasn’t really sure he was describing it all correctly, but he tried anyways and Allura could follow along with what he was saying easily enough. Allura was a fast learner, which made it a lot less complicated to fly with Keith since he got frustrated whenever she didn’t understand or didn’t get the move right. It wasn’t anger directed at her though, she had noticed that he seemed more annoyed with himself.

Flying Red was quite the experience and Allura knew she would want to try it again sometime if Keith would let her, but she also had a good time just hanging out with Keith in general. It eased her panic at knowing that they had been so close to losing someone who she considered to be part of her family. After the loss of her planet, she was sure that that would be it and she would never have anything ever again except the castle, Coran, and the mice.

That is, until the new paladins arrived. They threw everything Allura knew right out the door, welcoming her, accepting her, and making her feel loved on every journey through the universe in the fight against Zarkon. To lose even one of them would be devastating. Was devastating. Allura had cried herself to sleep the night she had bid Keith what she had thought would be the final farewell. Everyone probably had done the same.

But that didn’t matter anymore because Keith was there with her, with all of them. She laughed and squealed as they darted through the sky, Red and Keith matching her excitement step for step.

After some time, she began to feel a little dizzy, and she was sure that to some extent, Keith probably got enough twirling in while they were in actual battles. Allura slowed Red down a bit, coasting along through the air and just enjoying the view of all the stars and planets in the distance rather than focusing on any fancy moves. There was time for Keith to teach her more later if he would allow that. No need to rush.

“Keith, thank you,” she said softly.

“It’s no problem, princess,” he answered.

Allura glanced back at Keith. His hand smoothed over the wall of Red, petting and assuring her. She could feel Red’s giddiness at the ministrations and it brought warmth to her own heart. The paladins obviously had to bond with their lions, but to see it was still comforting and beautiful.

Although, somewhere underneath all the happiness of Red, there was another feeling being shoved farther into the recesses of the lion’s energy. If Allura focused on it, she could almost touch the tendrils of a profound desperation, a sadness as deeply rooted as the one she had felt as she bid Keith her final goodbye the other day. Allura smiled sadly as she subtly ran her hand along the armrest of the seat, hoping Red could feel her easy calmness.

“She’s very glad to see you’re alright,” Allura commented quietly as she continued to gently stroke Red’s interior.

There was a deep sigh behind her, followed by a saddened, “Yeah, I can feel it.”

“We’re all glad you’re alright,” she continued. “What would we do without our Red Paladin?” she chuckled.

Keith didn’t laugh though, just hummed contemplatively. Allura turned to meet his eye again but his gaze was fuzzy and unfocused as he stared out into space ahead. “You’d be a good Red Paladin,” he mumbled.

Something about the way he said it jarred Allura a little bit. She furrowed her eyebrows before turning back to watch where she was flying. The controls suddenly felt heavy in her hands and the seat seemed to encase her more than she had recalled it doing before. “It wouldn’t be the same without you, Keith, of that, I’m sure,” she answered, clenching her fists around the grips on the control levers. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Allura, I–” Keith tried to say, but Allura cut him off again.

“No, I know we’ve had our differences in the past and I know that we haven’t always gotten along, but I do care about you, Keith. I do worry about you. There is nothing that you have to prove to me, or to anyone else, and we all wish you’d be safer about the way you conduct yourself in battle,” Allura assured, frowning down at her hands. She was responsible for the Paladins, she was the one who dragged them into this war, and to an extent, she felt responsible for Keith’s death. Her eyes narrowed as she glared hard at the controls. She couldn’t look back to meet Keith’s intense stare, which she could feel burning into the back of her head.

Keith didn’t say anything, he just stood there. Allura could feel his hand on the back of the chair, the way his fingers dug deeper into the leather as though he were grounding himself. The silence stretched on. Guilt wrapped its way around Allura’s heart as she shifted the controls to direct Red back to the castle. Every moment that passed, she hoped Keith would speak, but he didn’t. Eventually, he let out a soft huffing breath before the hand released from the chair and feet shuffled around.

“Thank you,” Keith’s soft voice muttered. His face was turned away from Allura when she glanced back quickly. “I, uh… I’ll work on my impulsiveness…” There was a small hint of a smile on his face, barely visible. Allura had to quickly face the front again, lest they crash into the castle for real this time, but she did see the way Keith’s eyelids fluttered rapidly in his profile. An audible swallow sounded behind her. She wasn’t sure what to make of that, but a small smile twitched on her lips anyways.

“I think it’s time we had some lunch,” she lightheartedly suggested, hoping to lift the heavy atmosphere.

Keith cleared his throat, “Sounds good,” he answered.

“Wonderful!” Allura had promised the mice that she would spend some time with them later. There were also duties to attend to and she couldn’t just leave those, there was a schedule she had to keep.

Red came up to the hangar swiftly, docking herself in a seated position before lowering her head to allow Allura and Keith an exit. Allura stepped out onto solid ground, petting Red on her way out. “Thank you, Red! I had a lovely time!” she smiled. Although they were robotic lions with fixed features, Allura was sure she could see a little cat-like grin on Red’s face. The purring filled her mind again and Allura giggled. She would have to spend more time with Red in the future. With all the lions, really.

And with that, the two made their way to the dining hall to meet the others for lunch.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Lunch came and went, more food goo as usual, and every separated off to go do their own thing. Coran was originally going to go test out the alarm system to make sure it was still functioning as he often did. It was essential to make sure that every part of the castle worked the way it should so that there were no unfortunate incidents. So, Coran set off to the control room to do his tests.

Before he could make it very far down the hallway, he was halted by the tapping of boots through the hall and a bellow behind him, “Coran! Coran, wait!”

Turning back to greet them, Coran came face to face with Keith who had just jogged after him. “Number four! Good to see you’re up and at ‘em, eh? You took quite the hit, but I’m glad you’re back to your healthy self! What is it you need, young Paladin?” Coran asked, smiling brightly at the red paladin before him.

“Thanks, Coran,” Keith smiled. “I was wondering if you need any help?”

Coran chuckled good-naturedly, “With checking the alarm system? No, I think I’m quite alright. I’ve done this many times, you know! But, I’m sure we can find something for your eager, inquiring mind to do!” he winked as if letting Keith in on a secret. “Come along!” He spun on his heel, heading along to the control room.

Keith jogged to catch up before falling into step next to Coran. They didn’t say anything on the way there, just walking in silence. It didn’t feel awkward to Coran, although, to be fair, nothing ever really did feel overly awkward to him at all. He wondered if maybe that had to do with the extreme age difference between him and the other members of the team or not. Keith, he had noticed, seemed to find a great deal of things to be awkward, except they were never the things that everyone else on the team found awkward. Much like with many things, Keith’s perception of everything was slightly skewed in relation to others his age. Something about that made Coran feel a connection to Keith, because while there were things that Coran understood that Keith didn’t, and things that made sense to Keith which Coran would never understand, they would always have a shared confusion for the idea of what was socially strange.

The red paladin was a young lad with much life ahead of him and many lessons to learn in that life while Coran was a seasoned warrior in the battle of life who had been through a great deal of things, and yet, Coran found himself learning from Keith just as much as he taught him.

One of the things that Coran had come to notice about Keith was that he didn’t seem to fully understand just how important he was to the team. Everyone seemed to be blind to this, even as observant as they all were. All the other members had secured their spots on the team and they saw that same security in each other, even Keith. Sure, everyone had their insecurities, but Keith’s ran deeper, tying heavily back to his very core, that much, Coran could tell.

Coran could see it in the way Keith stared longingly at group activities which he wasn’t sure how to join, in the way that he would spend all his time in the training deck even after his limbs were worn so thin that he could barely feel them, in the way he ducked and dived in his lion, in the way he never backed down from an enemy which he wanted to take on head first, in the way he struggled to accept help from his teammates.

Keith held not just the weight of the world on his shoulders, but the entire universe, and most importantly to him, his family aboard the ship, too. The weight was crushing him and he didn’t know how to fix that.

So, every chance Coran got to let Keith know just how readily he would be there for the boy, he took it, because Keith’s death hit him just as hard as it did anyone else. Coran knew a thing or two about loss, and he never wanted to see it again, especially not with the blazing flame of uncertainty and determination that was Keith. And so, as soon as they reached the control room, Coran immediately gave Keith the job of flicking different switches upon his request and reading off numbers to him.

And, in typical Coran fashion, he told his stories. He had many stories to tell, all ridiculous retellings of a time that had long since passed. Whenever he told stories, it was mostly to fill up the empty silence and make the other members of the team feel like they weren’t alone. Of course, he did want people to listen to his stories, otherwise he wouldn’t tell them, but he understood that he could be a bit longwinded in his tales and that sometimes, people just didn’t want to listen, so he wasn’t offended when anyone left him in the middle of a story or cut him off.

He rarely had a chance to tell Keith his stories though, especially since he was usually holed up in the training room. He started off with a classic, leaving pauses to ask Keith to switch dials and to give him a chance to respond with the readings. “Have I ever told you about the time I fought off a Gricox with nothing but my wit and a couple coins?” Coran called over his shoulder.

Keith let out a small huff of a laugh – a good sign in Coran’s book – and answered, “No, I don’t think you have.”

Coran grinned, diving back into his story once again. “Well, it was a long time ago, but rest assured, Number Four, I was still the general commander, flight master extraordinaire that I am today! It was on the planet Ebhana, home to the Ebhanians. They’re a ruthless bunch of rapscallions, even more so than the Unilu!” Coran flicked some more switches, pausing to ask Keith to turn another dial.

“Three thousand,” Keith informed. There was a hint of a smile in his voice.

“Oh, much better than yesterquintant,” Coran muttered before launching right back into his tale. “Right then, the Ebhanians aren’t the type to take things lying down, that’s for sure! They’re big, mighty fighters, which is why I fit right in!” Keith snorted behind him, causing him to whip around to stare at Keith with a note of suspicion. “What was that?” he asked.

Keith, who was smiling at the dials, glanced over to Coran, amusement lighting his features. “Nothing, sorry. Continue,” he urged, gesturing to Coran with his hand.

Coran hummed, displeased but with an air of joshing, “Anyways, the point is that they could take on anything! Even a Vrozzemt in Maell season!” Coran exclaimed, illustrating his point with a sweeping gesture of his arms. “Except, there was one thing that even the Ebhanians feared; the Gricox!”

“What _is_ a Gricox?” Keith furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at Coran, listening intently to his story, although he didn’t seem to believe certain parts.

“I’m glad you asked, my boy! It’s a giant, furry beast with hands like ours and a long tail with feathers at the end. It also has an incredibly long nose and long ears. And their eyes, much like the Galras’, have no pupils or anything, just solid white. They’re quite the frightening species so it’s understandable that the Ebhanians wouldn’t want to be involved with one of those!”

“Sounds horrific enough,” Keith commented, glancing between Coran and the dials as he switched various things on and off.

Coran nodded, “They are! On this quintant in particular, a Gricox happened to make its way into the city. The Ebhanians were racing around, no one knew what to do, but I, being the fearless guide of the king that I am, scared the Gricox right out of town!”

“How?” Keith asked.

“It was quite the stunt, if I do say so myself! You really had to be there to get the full– Can you just turn that dial there to the left? Just until it reaches the third mark,” Coran pointed to the panel where Keith’s hand hovered around. Finally, the red paladin found the right one and flicked it to the left. “Ah, thank you! Where was I? Oh! Yes, you really had to be there to understand the full ingenuity of my plan, but I’ll explain it to you!

“First, I rushed over there! I wasn’t prepared with a weapon or anything, but I did have coins on me! So, quick as an Itsetsy, I grabbed my bandana, held it in one hand and used my teeth to the hold the other side! Then, with my bandanapult – that’s a bandana catapult – I slingshot my coins right into the unseeing eyes of the mighty Gricox!” Coran waved his arms around as he demonstrated the amazing feat he had achieved.

Keith watched on in a mixture of disbelief and fascination, his hand casually resting on the panel of dials at his left. “Did it do anything?” Keith asked.

“Oh, you bet it did! The Gricox came right at me! On one hand, I was relieved that it wasn’t going for the Ebhanians, but on the other, I was being attacked by a giant monster! But don’t worry! I know how to keep cool in the heat of battle,” Coran grinned mischievously over at Keith, who was squinting at him as if trying to tell where the story was going.

“Before he could reach me, I swung around back behind him, grabbed his head like this,” Coran crossed his arms over each other, demonstrating in the air exactly what he did, “wrapped him up like so!” He twirled his arms a little bit. “And normally, it would’ve been one, two, three, and sleepy time for him! But the old crone wasn’t done with me yet!”

Keith, smiling and wide-eyed at Coran’s story, interjected, “What did he do?”

“Before I could finish my move, he,” Coran sliced his hand through the air twice, “through the air! Luckily, I dodged, but then!” Coran balanced on one foot, kicking his other one out in a sort of pseudo-karate move. “Like that, he nearly got me!” Keith was chuckling by that point, watching as Coran flailed around through the air in his retelling of how the battle had happened. “Too bad for him, I was already coming at him with one of these;” he dropped and bent his legs at the knees before he rapidly pecked his hand through the air towards Keith.

Keith laughed. It was a wholehearted laugh as he clutched at his stomach and threw his head back. There were tears prickling his eyes, but he didn’t stop.

“It was a fierce battle! No laughing matter, I can assure you!” Coran reminded, laughing a little himself. He couldn’t help the light feeling in his heart at seeing Keith smiling and having a good time rather than being his serious and moody self. Coran always worried about Keith a little bit, but it was great to see him so full of life. He took pride in the fact that not only was he the cause of it, but also that someone was actually listening to his story.

“You’re right, you’re right,” Keith heaved. “Go on.”

Coran smiled, “After the most intense battle a Gricox has ever been subjected to, I managed to drive the mighty beast right out of the city! The Ebhanians were so impressed with my tenacity that they invited me to a feast! It wasn’t a huge party, mind you. Not that I was expecting it to be, especially since it was no thing for me to take down the Gricox, but the meal was delicious all the same! They had Klem!” Coran brushed his nails off on his collar before looking at them again to illustrate just how casual the story was, as if it was hardly any skin off his back.

Keith was beaming, moving back between the dials and shifting things around while he smiled. “That’s sure a story, Coran,” he remarked.

“If you liked that one, then I’ve got a ton of other tales that I’m sure’ll also knock your socks off! But we can leave those for another quintant. The alarm check is all done! I just need to…” Coran patted his hands along his pants, attempting to find where he had left his keys. “Ah, blast! They must be in my other pants,” he muttered.

Keith, who was packing up everything and getting ready to leave, glanced back to Coran. “Everything alright?” he called over.

“Nothing serious, Number Four, I just left my keys behind by accident. I really should invest in more clothes with pockets,” Coran assured, stepping over to join Keith at the door. He would have to go retrieve his keys from his room and quickly hurry back, but it wasn’t much of an issue.

“Oh,” Keith nodded, awkwardly staring at the other wall as if he wasn’t sure what to say. “Maybe if you had a utility belt you wouldn’t need pockets?” he suggested, tilting his head in a way that made his comment into a question.

Coran placed a finger to his chin, imagining Keith’s idea for a moment. That would make it a lot easier to remember to bring things if he had a belt that could easily be carried around with him all the time. It certainly wouldn’t hurt. He used to wear utility belts quite often, once upon a time, but he had stopped when he became a royal advisor since it didn’t look as professional and there was less that he needed to carry around.

Slowly, Coran nodded, “That’s not a bad idea.”

Keith’s face momentarily lit up. “If you need to borrow mine, you can. Anytime, I don’t mind,” he promised, staring at Coran in a way that almost made him seem desperate, or sad perhaps. 

Coran chose to ignore the look, thinking it another aspect of Keith’s uncertainty around social interactions. “Why, thank you, Keith! I appreciate that!” He slapped Keith on the back in a friendly gesture which seemed to catch Keith off guard before the boy smiled. “And thank you for the help today too. Hopefully it wasn’t too boring!” he teased.

“No! No, I actually had a lot of fun… Thanks, Coran,” Keith quickly said, glancing over Coran’s shoulder and then down at the floor as if he was afraid to make eye contact suddenly.

Coran chuckled, “I’m glad! Well, I have to go get those keys, and I’m sure you have other things to be doing! Goodbye, Number Four!”

“Bye,” Keith responded.

Coran slipped through the door, waving to Keith as he left. Before he turned the corner at the end of the hall, he managed to catch the small smile on Keith’s face and that alone brightened his mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw now Keith has bonded with everyone!
> 
> Also, sidenote here, but I'm always a slut for Icon For Hire, the band. Anyway, they have a song called Counting On Hearts and there's a part that reminds me of Keith;  
> I'm counting on hearts like yours to get me through it  
> I'm a fighter now let me prove it  
> Don't ever let me water it down  
> I'm counting, I'm counting on you now
> 
> Just thought I'd share it with y'all


	6. A Moment Worth Remembering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all deserve some guiltless fluff! Also, I've been getting a surplus of theories recently, and I just wanna say thank you so much for all of those because it baffles me on every level to think that people care enough about and are enthralled enough with my work to even bother coming up with theories! On top of that, y'all're sharing them with me! Like I screech every time I see that someone has left a comment, wowowowow!!   
> Anyways, I don't usually leave such long beginning notes so I'll let you get on with the story!

It had been a few days since Lance had had a lot of time with Keith. Just Keith. Sure, they all saw each other at dinner and during training, but Lance still looked forward to moments when it was him and Keith with no one else to interrupt them. Not that he thought of the others as interrupting, because they weren’t. Lance wasn’t the only one who loved Keith, he knew that. But he was the only one on the ship who loved Keith romantically and was subtly trying to flirt with him. Flirting with him was just difficult when Pidge was there waggling her eyebrows at him every time Keith wasn’t looking or Hunk was ‘accidentally’ shoving him towards Keith.

So, when the paladins finally got word that they would be dropping off on a planet called Selude to create an alliance with, Lance couldn’t be more excited. Seeing new cultures and species was always something he really enjoyed, but it also meant that he would have an opportunity to hang out with Keith on a beautiful planet. Allura had shown the team pictures of the planet and all Lance could do was devise various plans to get Keith alone.

The castle touched down onto the surface of the planet, far enough away from the civilization that it didn’t destroy anything. Everyone seemed eager to get out there and meet the people of Selude, the Gozima. The sky overhead was a deep purple colour which shifted and moulded itself into variations of pink, red, and blue but always returned to purple. Not many plants grew in the area, but from what they could see, most of the plants were a slight yellow colour, some with beautifully coloured flowers budding out of them.

It was very loud. Everything seemed to make noise as soon as they were there. At first, Lance had assumed that it was the sound of the town not far from where they had landed, but once he was actually on Selude, he came to realize that the noise was coming from everywhere. It wasn’t a set noise, it just seemed that the flowers, the bird-like aliens overhead, the plants, the ground, the air itself, everything made noise.

They weren’t required to wear any armour since it was simply an alliance meeting, so everyone was in their regular clothes. Lance considered this to be a good thing since the air on Selude was somewhat chilly, also because Keith’s armour still hadn’t been repaired yet and no one would even dare let him wear it as long as it was still blood stained and damaged.

“This mission shouldn’t take too long. We won’t be here more than a day,” Allura informed them as they exited the castle to step foot on the planet. “The Gozima people aren’t really the type for formalities, so there won’t be any meetings this time. Lance, I’m sure that news will please you,” she stared over at him, unamused.

Keith snorted while Shiro and Hunk tried their best to look as though they hadn’t found that funny. They weren’t doing a good job. “Look, Lance. An alliance you can’t possibly ruin,” Pidge giggled.

“Ruin?! I never ruin alliances!” Lance cried indignantly.

“What about that time with the Mindozans?” Pidge supplied.

Shiro chimed in, “Or Erganites.”

“The Minaria,” Allura said.

“Nyma stole your lion that one time,” Hunk helpfully added.

“That wasn’t even an alliance!” Lance retorted. “Keith, back me up here.” He turned to the red paladin, who was glancing at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Didn’t you nearly start a war with the Narsheans?” he asked, tilting his head as though he were innocent.

Lance glared at him, although it held no real heat, “Yeah, well, you nearly killed Lubos and Klaizap on two separate occasions, so who’s the real alliance ruin-er here?”

Keith glared back, “You’ll be next if you’re not careful,” he threatened.

“I’m real scared, Mullet,” Lance huffed a laugh. He bumped his shoulder into Keith’s. “What’re you gonna do? Smother me with your edgy gloves?”

Keith slammed his shoulder into Lance’s, much harder than Lance had. “All I need to do is lock you in the training room with a level one bot. That would be enough,” he smirked.

“Yeah? Is that why you nearly lost to me a few quintants ago?” Lance prodded.

Keith just clicked his tongue in disdain, although Lance could see him smiling faintly. “I let you win. Just like every other time you’ve beaten me.”

“Oh, ho! Be careful, Samurai. Those sound like fighting words, and you know how I love a challenge,” Lance stared hard at Keith and he couldn’t help the low tone his voice took on as he finished the sentence. Keith’s eyes remained on his, staring him down with just as much dare and amusement as Lance himself was feeling. He had unconsciously gotten much closer to Keith than he had originally intended, all without realizing. It was almost embarrassing, the way his heart beat in his chest, as though trying to spring free to reach Keith.

“Well, this is getting gross,” Pidge dryly commented, her unimpressed eyes boring holes into their skin.

Shiro, Hunk, and Allura all looked equally uncomfortable behind her. All except Coran, who was excitedly admiring the scenery as they made their way to the city, completely unfazed by the conversation unfolding to his right.

“If you’re both done… _that_ … I’d like to know more about the mission. Thanks,” Pidge smiled tightly. Lance felt his face heat up in embarrassment and he instantly ripped himself away from Keith, who looked just, if not more, flushed with awkwardness.

Allura cleared her throat, “Right, as I was saying, the Gozima aren’t formal, so there will be no meetings and none of you will be expected to attend the actual negotiation. However, it would be very respectful of you all to meet the citizens of the city and be the charismatic and compassionate paladins that I know you all can be,” her voice hardened a little bit on the last couple words as though she knew that it wasn’t true, but she was trying to let them know that that was what she expected of them.

“The Gozima are quite friendly!” Coran piped up. His moustache twitched as he smiled, “I’m sure they’d all love to meet you!”

Lance grinned as the city came into view. There were small little stalls everywhere which faced out into the open. Some of them had counters for people to place their goods on, some were simply mats on the ground, and some were full scale, walk-in stalls which held many more items. There were stands for food, weapons, clothing, jewelry, wood carvings, ores, trinkets, housewares, paintings, alien things which Lance had never seen before. Anything and everything; this market had it.

“This really is my kind of mission!” Lance cheered, taking in the sweet scent of the citrus fruit stand as they passed it. Light glinted off some gems in a small necklace stand and Lance couldn’t help the way his eye was drawn in even if he tried.

“Are we allowed to check out the market?” Pidge asked, glancing around the stalls as well. Her eye seemed to catch on a small, hidden-away stand stocked to the brim with various gadgets. She let out a small gasp.

“Of course, just be polite,” Allura nodded. “Coran, Shiro, and I will be in the main hall in the centre of the city.”

“You should all meet back up at the castle in about, five vargas or so,” Shiro added, inspecting the sun in the sky as he did. Well, one of them. There were three.

Hunk was practically shaking with excitement. “This is awesome! I can see at least three spice stands from here! We’re eating good tonight!” he exclaimed, already heading off to one of the stands. He called back over his shoulder, “Lance, Keith, do you wanna come with me?”

Lance couldn’t resist the smile Hunk was giving him if he tried. It was truly his weakness, even though his best friend didn’t know that. Still, something nagged at him, whispering dangerous thoughts about being alone with Keith. What Lance hadn’t exactly told anyone, not even himself, was that he was going to be spending the day with Keith for as long as he could, so whatever Keith wanted to do, Lance was automatically going to be there. He glanced to Keith, judging to see if that was alright with him.

Luckily, Keith seemed eager to follow Hunk as he navigated through the stands. Off the three went, exploring and discovering as they made their way through the crowded market. Pidge had gone off toward the gadget stand the second they were all set free, and the others had disappeared amongst the market people as they made their way to the heart of the city, so that just left Lance to hang out with Keith and Hunk.

As they passed stall after stall, Lance got a really good look at the Gozima. They were fairly short humanoids with many bumpy ridges along their bodies. Some of them were a deep grey colour while others were more of a glittery silver, but all of them were quite beautiful in their colouring. They had hair too, which Lance found interesting since most of the aliens they had come across had fur or feathers, but rarely hair. Each of their eyes were solid, cobalt blue with a pink sclera. Their faces seemed a lot more skeleton-like than Lance was entirely comfortable with, sunken and hollow in appearance, but true to Coran’s word, they were all friendly.

Lance waved to each of the stall owners with a smile on his face, and each one mimicked the gesture with the same amount of enthusiasm. The way they waved was off though. Lance wondered if they were copying to be polite rather than understanding what it meant.

Hunk ahead of him also greeted all the aliens, telling them how incredible he found their wares, chatting and asking questions. Although he was with Lance and Keith, he was also somewhat in his own world as he enjoyed the planet.

Keith offered a hesitant smile to those of the Gozima who were able to catch his eye, but otherwise, he seemed to shrink into his jacket a little bit as they wandered through the stalls. Every now and again, he would roll his shoulders in a sort of uncomfortable gesture, but he still investigated all the products thoroughly.

They stopped at one shop which was selling a variety of edible liquids meant for baking and cooking which Hunk had instantly melted at the sight of. He chatted excitedly with the store owner, swapping tips and tricks of how to get the best flavour out of things and speaking about the food goo they had on the ship. The Gozima was genuinely interested, asking question and laughing in their trill, purr-esque, type of laugh whenever Hunk made a joke.

Lance smiled at his friend’s enthusiasm, not really understanding what they were talking about, but happy enough to just be there. A sudden movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned, seeing that Keith, who had previously been at his side, had wandered his way over to the store next door. Something must have captured his interest because he subtly smoothed his fingers over whatever was on the table.

Sidling up beside Keith, Lance leaned over his shoulder to get a better look. “See anything you like?” Lance asked after Keith spent a longer time staring at the piece of red and purple striped fabric than what was normal.

Keith startled back, nearly bumping into Lance. He stared wide-eyed, his gaze shifting rapidly between Lance, the item, and the ground. “I– What? No, I was just…” he stuttered.

Lance shifted past Keith, picking up the fabric that he had been looking at. It unfolded in his hands, spilling over the sides of his palms until it reached its full length. Small tendrils of fabric dangled off the ends of it and the purple and red stripes covered its entirety. It was a scarf. Lance frowned at it, then he looked back to Keith. “Are you cold?” he questioned.

“No,” Keith pouted. And suddenly, Lance noticed that Keith wasn’t shrinking into his coat because he was shy, it was because he was shaking.

“Yeah, you are! You’re shivering!” Lance countered. He folded the scarf back up, placing it back on the shelf while Keith argued with him.

“Lance, I’m fine!”

Lance shook his head, already removing his own jacket. “It’s cold here anyways and all you have is that dumb excuse for a jacket! It doesn’t even keep you warm!” He placed his olive coat on the stall counter and moved closer to Keith.

In response, Keith stepped back. “What’re you doing?” he quickly interrogated, holding his hands out in front of him with an expression like he was ready to bolt.

“I’m giving you my jacket!” Lance frowned.

“Uh, no you aren’t!” Keith protested, slightly panicked.

Lance furrowed his eyebrows. “Just give me your coat, Keith, you’re cold!” He moved forward again. Keith backed away again, accidentally bumping into the stand. There was a deep blush working its way up Keith’s neck and over his cheeks as he attempted to swat Lance’s hands away from him. Lance didn’t back down though, giggling as he pulled Keith’s crop jacket off of him.

“Lance!” Keith shouted.

“Keith, cooperate with me!”

“Stop it! I’m fine!”

Lance managed to get one of Keith’s sleeves off. “You’re not! You’re cold!”

Keith shrugged out of the rest of his jacket, more in an attempt to get away from Lance than to keep his jacket, no longer struggling but still yelling, “You’ll be cold too!”

“I’m not cold!” Lance countered. He swiftly pulled Keith’s jacket onto himself, moving to pick up his own coat and pull it around Keith’s shoulders.

“You will be!” Keith scowled. He obediently slipped his arms into the sleeves of Lance’s jacket nonetheless, and with a pouting, defeated, yet defiant expression, he pulled the coat tight around his body and cozied into it.

Lance’s heart constricted painfully at the action, unable to look away or fight the blush playing at his cheeks as he watched Keith snuggle up into Lance’s own coat. All the heat in his body suddenly came to the surface, burning his skin and speeding up his heart as if he were running a marathon only moments ago. Any thoughts of how cold the planet was and how little Keith’s jacket was protecting him were instantly forgotten as he watched Keith.

Much like Lance himself, Keith had an embarrassed, red flush dusting his cheeks and he attempted to hide it behind furrowed eyebrows and a soft raise of the sleeve to his face, the end of the sleeve covering his hands as it was too long. That may have helped Keith hide his blush, but it didn’t help Lance’s heart calm down. Exactly the opposite, actually, it had leaped into his throat.

They both just stood there, Keith warming up in Lance’s jacket while Lance stared at him like a deer in the headlights.

Abruptly, a voice cut in, “Hey, did you guys find anything?” Hunk, holding a small bag of items, beamed at them both, completely absorbed in the atmosphere of the marketplace.

“No,” Keith grumbled as he burrowed deeper into the oversized jacket.

“Nope! We were just looking but we’re done now and we can go!” Lance spat out, barely pausing between any of the words he said as he forced himself to make direct eye contact with Hunk.

There was a confused furrow to Hunk’s eyebrows as he glanced between Lance and Keith. “Did you guys switch coats?” he asked innocently.

“Yes, we did! But that’s unimportant! I’m pretty sure I just saw something very interesting over there though, so Keith and I are just going to go investigate that and you stay here and look at more things! You have fun, buddy!” Lance laughed, far too loud and suspicious for someone who was supposed to not be spontaneously combusting from the inside outwards.

Hunk, suddenly surprised at how quickly Lance was making his great escape, stared at him blankly. Lance opened his eyes as wide as he could and made a jerking head motion to Keith, hoping Hunk would get the message that Lance was actually dying because Keith was the cutest, most adorable being in the entire universe, Lance was sure, he had checked.

A sudden realization dawned on Hunk’s face and he brightened, “Oh! Yes, of course! Have fun then! I’ll just look at some more spices!” and with that, Hunk shuffled past the two of them, patting Lance on the back and offering a sly grin when Lance met his eye.

Once Lance was left alone with Keith, he smiled at the boy. “C’mon!” he exclaimed before quickly grabbing Keith’s hand – grabbing his sleeve, anyway, because his hands still couldn’t breach the edge of the fabric – and began guiding him through the marketplace. Keith seemed a little hesitant to follow Lance, but he didn’t say anything, just let Lance lead them. He could still feel the rapid beat of his heart and the electricity shooting through his body at the feeling of Keith’s hand almost in his.

“Lance, wait,” Keith suddenly yanked Lance to a stop.

“What?” Lance asked, still holding Keith’s hand through the sleeve.

Keith squinted up at the suns in the sky, “Where are we going? You’re not going to do something stupid, are you? We only have, what, three more vargas?”

“Keith, relax!” Lance laughed, turning his entire body to fully face Keith. Somewhere, a bout of confidence was ignited as he saw Keith wrapped up in his jacket, staring at the suns and looking concerned. He grabbed Keith’s other hand through the fabric of his jacket sleeve, drawing Keith’s attention back to his face. Still, even with his confidence back, the red glow of his cheeks remained prominent when he was under Keith’s gaze. “Let’s go have an adventure!” Lance grinned.

For a moment, Keith didn’t say anything, he just stared at Lance. Then slowly, a small smile quirked at the side of Keith’s mouth and he forced himself to look away from Lance, focusing on the ground with a soft huff of breath. “Alright, lead the way, Sharpshooter,” Keith softly murmured with a hint of laughter to his voice. Lance’s insides twisted in the most lovesick of ways and he instantly began pulling Keith through the market again with an even brighter feeling in his chest.

A feeling akin to, what one might call, hope.

Lance and Keith hurried around the stalls, checking out the various products for sale. Keith got particularly intrigued when he came across a stand selling knives and pocket watches – an odd combination, sure – and Lance just stood beside him, giving his opinion on which of the knives he thought were the nicest looking. Of course, Keith was more about practicality, but he seemed to take Lance’s thoughts into account as he sifted through them. In the end, he didn’t actually buy any of them, even when Lance offered to pay.

A few other stands were selling strange food which they dared each other to try. They shared an ice cream type food which had the same texture as a carbonated pop. Lance found it unbearable to eat but Keith seemed into it. He snacked on it while laughing at Lance’s over the top reaction to the texture. As gross as it was, Lance kept diving back in to take small bites of Keith’s ice cream. Keith smooshed it farther into Lance’s face every time he did and they would both laugh.

At one point, they came across a store selling glasses and hats which were shaped like various items, and Lance could only assume they were the equivalent to the hotdog hats back on Earth. That could only mean one thing. Lance shoved a spirally hat onto Keith’s head when he wasn’t looking, startling the boy into nearly dropping his ice cream thing.

“What?” Keith stepped back, glancing up at the hat on his head. He reached a hand up, intent on removing it, but Lance stopped him before he could.

“Wait, wait!” Lance giggled. He steered Keith by the shoulders to one of the mirrors where Keith could fully see the beauty of the baby blue squiggle on his head. “You’re a swirly straw!”

Keith snorted, using one of the flapping ends of his sleeve to thwack Lance’s chest. “This looks so dumb,” he commented. “You need one.” Keith began searching around the small store, hunting for the perfect hat. He left his own on his head and continued to take small kitten-like licks of his ice cream, even through his intense expression of concentration.

Lance watched on with a warmth blooming in his chest. “I picked the worst one for you, so good luck,” Lance laughed.

Keith didn’t even look up, he just kept sifting through the hats. “I’m going to find one that’s extra stupid, just you watch,” he smirked as he wandered around the store. He came across a box, bending down to dig through it. “Shouldn’t be too hard. You look stupid enough on your own,” he snorted.

“Yeah, must be this jacket I’m wearing,” Lance commented. He threw a smarmy half-smile at Keith when the boy lifted his head from a hat box to glare at him.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s that jackass expression on your face,” Keith deadpanned. He took another lick of his ice cream before digging back into the box of hats.

“Joke’s on you, that’s just my regular face,” Lance jested, causing Keith to give out a startled laugh and nearly tumble into the box. Lance couldn’t help the sudden rush of affection at the ridiculous sight.

He was about to say something else, when Keith made a pleased noise and pulled out a hat. It was a light green coloured hat in the shape of some sort of animal which resembled a shark. There were a lot of teeth in its mouth, which was also the opening of where Lance’s head would go, and it was covered in a collection of googly eyes all along its back until they ended right before the huge fin of the tail.

Keith hurried over excitedly and fitted it onto Lance’s head. Lance let him, squinting his eyes shut and scrunching up his face as Keith adjusted it. When Keith finally finished, stumbling back to admire his choice, Lance opened his eyes again. Before him, Keith stood, hiding his face in the sleeve again. There was pure mirth displayed in his eyes. He shook his head once before grabbing his stomach and bursting into laughter. It was deep, hearty laughter and Lance could feel the way it filled up his heart and soul.

Lance glanced to the mirror behind Keith, seeing the ridiculous lopsided shark-like alien atop his head, biting into his hair, and he couldn’t help but laugh too. He stumbled into Keith, causing him to nearly drop his ice cream, but Keith didn’t seem to care. The red paladin’s laughter tapered off as he wiped away the tears that were already forming in the corners of his eyes.

“Keith,” Lance said through his wheezing, “can we take a picture? Please?” Reaching into his pocket, Lance removed his phone, holding it up to Keith with a giant smile on his face.

“Oh yeah, we need to remember this moment,” Keith teased, no hesitation in the way he pressed up against Lance to prepare for a picture. Lance’s heart missed a beat at that, reveling in the way Keith’s body heat felt against his side and how perfectly Keith fit alongside him. He fumbled with his phone for a moment, pulling up the camera app while also trying to pretend that Keith’s beautiful, soft, black hair, which tickled the side of his face, wasn’t a total distraction in every way.

Once the camera was ready, Lance made a ridiculous face, snapping a picture right as Keith began to laugh at the expression. Then he changed his expression to one that was even more absurd and Keith joined in, distorting his face as well. Lance clicked the button, unable to help the thought that passed through his mind that Keith was beautiful no matter what expression he made.

They both broke into laughter again and Lance’s thumb accidentally tapped the button, taking a blurry photo of them cackling and moving at the same time. Lance regained himself, swiftly pulling a grinning Keith in close once again. With an arm around the boy’s waist and the brightest grin on his face, Lance took the last picture. He knew then that he would cherish those photos for a long time.

Keith continued to smile, even as he pulled away from Lance, he was still grinning.

Lance ended up buying his hat while Keith put his back and they left the store in search of more adventures. Every time Keith’s attention was draw back to the hat on Lance’s head, he would let out a small chuckle, and that was one of the only reasons Lance decided to wear it all throughout the marketplace.

By the time they met up at the castle, the others were already there and waiting for them. Lance had his hat and Keith had a small bag of blue, fry-like things. Lance still wore Keith’s jacket, feeling slightly exposed in his stomach but also exposed in that he blushed every time he remembered he was wearing it. Keith still wore Lance’s jacket, cozying into it every time he thought Lance wasn’t looking. He had pulled the hood up at some point, making him look even smaller in Lance’s oversized jacket.

The others gave them weird looks when they arrived back, but none of them questioned it too much. Allura informed them the entire way back of how the alliance negotiation had gone, which was to say that it had gone great and they had one more group joining the coalition. Pidge told everyone all about the new tech she had bought and how it would help out on missions. Hunk, who had caught up to Pidge at some point, joined in when she was speaking about the technology and machines. He also shared the details on what types of spices and foods he bought, and exactly what he hoped he could make with such items.

Once they were back on the ship, Pidge and Hunk instantly set off to the kitchen. Pidge wasn’t really one for cooking, but she was always willing to help Hunk out if he needed it, or even just to keep him company while he was cooking. Allura and Coran had more things to do with confirming the alliance, so they opted just to stay in the main control room and work that out.

Shiro chose to relax in the lounge, and, much to everyone’s surprise, Keith didn’t decide to immediately go train. Rather, Keith just sat on one of the couches in the lounge as well, content to remain in Lance’s jacket, and who was Lance to argue? Especially when that small, vine like tendril of love, affection, and hope continued to grow within him.

Lance wondered if Keith had fallen asleep, but as he sat beside him, his eyes trailing along Keith’s strong, yet soft, features, a pair of violet eyes fluttered open. Keith stared directly at Lance in silence for a moment. Then, ever so gently, Keith smiled and whispered just low enough for Lance to hear him but not loud enough for Shiro to hear, “Thanks.” He shut his eyes once more, which was good, because Lance wasn’t sure what sort of lovestruck expression he was making, although he could feel the heat in his face and the beat of his heart just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, as we near the ending chapters of this fic, the sadness begins.


	7. Running Out of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... never say I wasn't benevolent, because this is your warning. Best make sure you're strapped into this emotional rollercoaster, my friends, because it is all downhill from here.  
> Like, 90 degree downhill.  
> This is the part where that looming dread catches up to you.

“Okay, now you’re just making things up,” Pidge narrowed her eyebrows at Allura, who was sat on the other couch across from Pidge in the lounge.

“No, I’m positive that this will help us all bond as a team!” Allura protested.

“Haven’t we done enough bonding as a team that it just comes naturally now?” Hunk asked. He squinted one eye in contemplation.

Shiro, who had been on board since the beginning, spoke up, “Come on, everyone, it’ll be fun! There’s no harm in it.” He smiled easily.

“Oh, yeah, ‘no harm,’ of course,” Keith muttered, his arms crossed as he sat on the couch with a skeptical expression.

Lance’s attention stuck to Keith and he nudged the boy sitting next to him. Keith glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. Lance grinned brightly at him, “Don’t be such a wet sock, Keith! Shiro’s right, it’ll be fun! All you have to do is share funny stories that’ve happened to you!”

Keith glared at him a moment longer before taking in a heavy sigh and turning to stare back at the rest of the group. He grumbled out a less-than-enthusiastic, “Then why don’t you start, since you’re so excited.”

Lance sat up straighter in his seat, facing the team again, he exclaimed, “You know what, I will!”

Pidge’s face had adopted an amused expression as she snorted, “Oh, this should be good.”

“I’ve already heard all Lance’s stories and you guys are in for some wild rides,” Hunk chuckled, shifting around in his seat to get comfortable.

“Wonderful!” Allura smiled. “Whenever you’re ready, Lance!”

Lance had many stories to tell, especially since he was always doing ridiculous things. He glanced around at the rest of the people in the room, gauging their readiness to listen. Having grown up in a large family, Lance had become accustomed to telling stories to his younger siblings, and one might even say that he was a particularly good storyteller. Even though Keith and Pidge didn’t look overly enthralled, they soon would.

“Well,” Lance began, grinning, “my family lives in a house that’s pretty close to the edge of town. Not in the country, but right at the edge of where the country properties are. The houses are still pretty far from each other though. Anyway, in the country, it’s common for people to let their pet cats just roam free or for strays to wander around.” Lance glanced over everyone’s face as he told his story, noticing the increased interest from Keith as he told backstory about his home and feeling a burst of warmth from it.

He continued, “Mama, she’s one of the kindest women you’ll ever meet, swear it. And–”

“It’s true; she is,” Hunk added, smiling softly.

“Exactly! Hunk can attest,” Lance laughed. “Where was I? Right, so, mama could never let any of these kitties go hungry because that just isn’t how she does things. She would set up multiple bowls of milk outside for the cats to drink out of. On any given day, we’d have about six or seven cats around the property at one time. It was kind of like a bar,” Lance huffed a laugh, “we had regulars.

“Stella, my little sister, she loved to play with the cats. The cats were all really nice and she was careful, so it was fine. Except, one day, Stella went outside to play with the cats and I was inside with everyone else. Suddenly, we hear this loud shrieking from outside!” Lance tried his best not to laugh as he recalled the memory. He subtly glanced over to Keith, pleasantly surprised to find him with his arms uncrossed and his eyes locked onto Lance.

Lance covered a hand to his face, trying his best not to snort. “We all run outside thinking Stella got hurt or something. Nope. There’s Stella, standing completely still, staring down at the cats with such betrayal and disgust. And then we all notice it; amongst the cats is a skunk which had somehow bamboozled its way into this herd of cats without anyone noticing.

“No one moves for a moment, and then Stella glares extra hard at the skunk and hisses, in the angriest voice I’ve ever heard her speak with, _‘Dirty beggar.’_ I just started cackling! My brother was wheezing, mama was trying not to laugh, but she wasn’t doing a good job,” Lance retold through his laughter.

Hunk was laughing, unable to hold himself back. Pidge snickered quietly to herself, finding it just as funny. Shiro’s shoulders shook with amusement. Allura and Coran chuckled politely, but Lance abruptly realized that they probably had no idea what a skunk was. And there, at Lance’s left, Keith guffawed. He just barked out a laugh so unexpectedly that Lance was absolutely not ready for the beauty that was Keith while he was laughing. It caught him off guard every time, but it also spawned butterflies in his stomach every time too.

Everyone eventually calmed, Hunk wiping tears away from his eyes as he segued the conversation, “I love that story. Can I go next?”

Allura smiled, “Of course, Hunk! Go ahead.”

“Mine is more of an embarrassing story, but it was pretty funny,” Hunk tittered, rubbing the back of his neck. “This happened at the Garrison. I was in class and I was just texting Lance. I wasn’t paying attention to anything around me and forgot who I was talking to because my mind was in ‘talk to Lance' mode, so I accidentally told some kid in the class that his butt was a bubble butt and then told him he’s thick,” Hunk admitted.

Immediately, the entire room burst into a barrage of noise.

Pidge started screeching, tears in her eyes, _“Why would you do that?!”_

Keith’s eyes were wide as saucers and he looked as though he was about to die of second-hand embarrassment. _“No! Oh my god, no!”_ he wailed.

Shiro and Allura seemed stuck in a state of laughing and shaking their heads, unsure if it was even appropriate to laugh.

Lance, who was wheezing, screamed, _“Why didn’t you tell me this story?!”_

“He was showing me photos he took! One of them was of him playing a sport and his butt was so big! I just accidentally said it!” Hunk cried, trying to hold himself together. “He kind of just stared at me and laughed nervously! I didn’t know what to do, so then I was laughing nervously! We were both just staring at each other, laughing nervously! But then he stopped, but I just kept laughing!”

“Why?!” Keith wheezed.

“What else was I supposed to do?” Hunk tossed his hands up, laughing at his own misfortune.

Pidge calmed down enough to finally speak properly while everyone else around her were dying. “Wait, wait!” She coughed a couple of times and wiped the tears out of her eyes. “What exactly did you say?!”

Hunk sighed, unable to keep the smile off his face, “Okay, so, the class hadn’t started yet and he was showing me pictures on his phone. He clicked on one of him playing, I think it was soccer. My mind was still half in my conversation with Lance, and you guys know what Lance is like! It just rubbed off on me, or something! So, I just blurted out, _‘You have a bubble butt.’_ And he turned to look at me. I panicked because he was just staring at me, and I said, _‘You’re so thick.’_ That’s when the nervous laughter thing happened.”

Pidge hollered again, nearly falling off the couch. Allura, no longer worried about whether she was in the right to be laughing, just clapped her hands and hooted while she tumbled into the back of the couch. Shiro had a hand to his face and there were tears streaming down his cheeks. Lance, himself, couldn’t even contain the laughter that was peeling out of him.

Right as he was about to ask Hunk something else, a sudden weight hit his side. He quickly turned to Keith. There, unable to pull himself together, was Keith, nestling into Lance’s jacket to muffle the loud, unrestricted laughter he emitted. Lance’s own laughter was momentarily paused as he watched Keith used him to keep from falling off the couch.

“He fucking looked at you after you said he had a bubble butt, and instead of saying, _‘I’m kidding,’_ or, _‘It’s a joke,’_ or, _‘Sorry, haha,’_ or literally anything helpful, you say, _‘You’re so thick?!’_ I’m actually going to fucking piss myself!” Pidge shouted, clutching her stomach in pain from laughing so much.

Hunk cackled, “But I couldn’t lie! He really was thick!” Pidge just made a silent wounded animal noise. “I can’t decide whether I regret it because it was terrible and awkward, or not because it’s so funny…” Hunk whispered.

Everyone rode out their laughter and eventually Shiro was able to uncover his face, Pidge was able to sit up properly, and Keith – much to Lance’s displeasure – was able to sit up without support.

“Oh, boy…” Allura breathed. “Thank you for… sharing. Who wants to go next?”

Pidge raised her hand. “Mine’s really short!” she grinned. “There was a man who lived on our street back home whose name was Jim Cott, but everyone on our block called him Jim Got Cott behind his back because he _got caught_ cheating on his wife. Anyway, I forgot his name once and called him Jim Got Cott. Of course, he was mad, and I realized what I had done so I stuttered, trying to remember his damn name. I called him Jim Goat Coat, Jimothy – because Matt convinced me that’s what Jim was short for, the asshole – and eventually landed on Jimmy C. before I finally just ran away.”

“Did you get in trouble?” Shiro asked as he chuckled.

“Yeah, I did. He told Dad,” Pidge glared off into the middle distance.

Allura snorted, finding it all very amusing. Lance and Hunk were both smiling and giggling.

“Got Cott…” Keith muttered next to him, an entertained smirk on his face.

Lance laughed, bumping Keith’s shoulder with his own again. “Why don’t you go next, Mullet,” he goaded.

Keith glared at him, although there was only general contentedness in the expression. He shuffled in his seat as everyone’s gaze came to rest on him. “I don’t really have any funny stories…” he mumbled.

“What about the bus story?” Shiro piped up.

“That wasn’t funny, that was tragic,” Keith argued.

Thoroughly intrigued, Lance leaned closer to Keith. It was definitely to tease him and not to just generally be closer to Keith, of course. “What’s the bus story?” he grinned.

“I wanna hear the bus story!” Pidge cheered.

“I think the bus story would be a good pick,” Allura agreed, despite not knowing what the bus story was.

Hunk beamed, “Bus story! Bus story!”

Keith sighed, pressing into Lance’s shoulder as if to say it was Lance’s fault. “Alright… I was getting on the bus, a little hungover, and in my pocket, I had my bus pass. Except, I guess I just forgot what I was doing momentarily, because instead of pulling out my bus pass, like I meant to, I pulled out this uncooked pasta noodle and showed it to the bus driver. If that wasn’t bad enough, I just stared at it, really confused with myself, and whispered, _‘Noodle Daddy,’_ before wandering onto the bus. The bus driver didn’t even try to stop me…” Keith stared at the wall as he finished telling his story, a troubled expression on his face.

Abrupt laughter bubbled out of Lance, “Noodle Daddy?!” Pidge, Hunk, and Allura all chortled, taking in all the details that Keith had just told them.

Shiro looked like he was about to start crying again. “Keith, you want to explain Noodle Daddy?”

“Not really,” Keith answered.

“Keith was supposed to be asleep when I got back to our room at the Garrison the night before, but instead, it was 3:00 in the morning and he was drunk off some moonshine he had bought from a guy down the hall,” Shiro laughed. “I asked him what he was doing and he looked at me with full seriousness, completely gone, and I’ll never forget this, he said,” Shiro lowered his voice to imitate drunk Keith, while actual Keith groaned, flipped the collar of his jacket up, and attempted to bury himself as far into it as possible.

 _“‘Shiro, how do I launch my rap album? It’s called, Noodle Daddy. First track; Sunny D! Got a name and everything, Shiro, call me Binnie Kei from now on!’_ and I have never laughed harder in my life! He was just hanging upside down off the top bunk bed with a lighter in his hand!”

“Binnie Kei?! What the fuck, Keith?!” Pidge hollered, launching herself across the couches to tackle Keith.

Keith, still with his face covered by the coat, just whined, “Please, let me simmer in my shame peacefully.” Only the top of his hair was poking out of his coat as he sunk lower into the couch with his arms clutched tightly around him.

“I can’t even picture Keith ever saying that!” Hunk shouted through his laughter.

“That is very out of character for him,” Allura snickered.

Lance couldn’t hold back his laughter, even as he attempted to calm himself down with a few shaky breaths. “C’mon guys, we shouldn’t make fun of him,” he giggled.

“Thank you,” Keith’s muffled voice sounded next to him.

“We have to support Binnie Kei’s new album, Noodle Daddy, and get Sunny D to the top of the charts,” Lance wheezed out at the end.

Everyone’s laughter was freshly renewed and Pidge just slid right off the couch onto the floor next to Keith’s feet, her face red and her glasses askew. Hunk laughed, although he made no noise, just staying there on the couch with his mouth open on a soundless scream. Allura had her face buried in her hands as she shook her head back and forth, cackling as she did.

“Fuck you,” Keith deadpanned, still suffocated within his jacket collar.

“Okay, I’m sorry, can we back up a moment?” Pidge rasped, removing her glasses to wipe at her eyes. “Why did you have an uncooked pasta noodle in your pocket?”

Keith unzipped his collar so he could properly speak to Pidge, still looking like a petulant little kid hidden away from the rest of the team. “I found it on the windowsill in one of my classes,” Keith explained.

“And you just took it?” Allura asked, her face flushed from laughing so much as she pulled her hands away.

“Yes,” Keith replied, as if that explained anything at all.

“There are so many layers to this story,” Lance tittered, falling into Keith to rest his head on the bundled-up boy’s shoulder. He hoped it looked even the least bit natural, because it sure as hell felt obvious.

Keith didn’t pull away though, just leaned his shoulder down a little bit to better accommodate Lance’s head. Lance couldn’t help the tiny smile that tickled his lips, and this time, it wasn’t because of all the hilarious stories. Below him, Pidge had managed to calm down, leaning her head into Keith’s knee, which Keith didn’t protest either.

“Shiro? Would you like to tell a story?” Allura asked, glancing to the black paladin.

Shiro waved a hand. He looked significantly more tired than he had moments ago. “No, no. I think my funny story was Keith’s rap career,” he snorted. Keith grumbled next to Lance, but didn’t voice anything concrete. “I’m sure that’s enough for one quintant. We’ve been doing bonding activities for awhile, we should rest now,” Shiro smiled kindly.

Lance sighed into Keith’s shoulder. It was true, they had spent the majority of the day just bonding together and becoming closer. They had done a lot of that when they had first joined Voltron, but that was so long ago that it really didn’t seem necessary anymore, they all just sort of flowed together as one. But, that didn’t mean that Lance didn’t like when they all just played Altean board games, watched movies, and told stories under the pretense of it being ‘training.’

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lance was sure that there was a reason behind Allura’s decision to break out bonding games again, as if they needed it. She probably thought they all deserved a break. Lance agreed though. The past couple of days had been a rollercoaster of emotions which he would really rather move on from, and games were just relaxing enough that he could almost physically feel his worries melt away.

And if bonding games meant that Keith was more willing to let Lance lay upon his shoulder, then who was Lance to argue with that?

One by one, everybody slowly got up from their spots around the lounge, a content and giddy atmosphere permeating the air. Hunk was first to leave, rubbing his stomach after all the laughing he had done. Pidge was next, raising her head from Keith’s leg and stretching her arms as far into the air as she could get them. She caught up to Hunk just as he was exiting the door, joining him in a conversation.

Shiro pulled himself out of his seat next, emitting a dad-like noise as he unstuck himself from the couch. Lance snorted as he watched and he could feel Keith’s body shake once as he huffed a laugh. Shiro stared at them with what Lance assumed was supposed to be a glare but came out more as a tired, glazed stare.

“Are you two going to bed?” he asked, noticing that neither of them had moved from their place on the couch, not even an inch.

“We will,” Lance answered. Keith hummed next to him in that way that he only did when he was completely calm. Lance loved that noise.

Shiro’s unfocused gaze seemed to soften as he watched them, a glimmer in his eye that made Lance’s chest warm. Then he turned to Allura, who had been waiting in the doorway, and wandered over to meet her. “Don’t stay up too late,” Shiro called over his shoulder with a smile as he rounded the corner, leaving the pair alone.

They both sat there in silence for some time, neither making a move. Keith seemed just as content as Lance was to stay where he was. The lights were still on in the lounge, no one bothering to turn them off on their way out, but that was fine. It felt warm and cozy, and not just because Lance was snuggled up against Keith. Maybe it was Lance’s dazed state of fatigue, but the entire lounge just felt like it was suspended in time, like Lance could stay there with Keith forever and never miss a second of reality.

Slowly, a black, gloved hand snaked its way out of the crossed position it had previously been in, jostling Lance’s head a little as it did, until it finally found Lance’s own hand. Lance’s breath caught and he stared down in quiet shock as Keith’s fingers intertwined with his own, securing their hands together. Keith gave a small squeeze before resting their connected hands back down on the couch, never speaking a word.

“Keith…?” Lance whispered, his voice barely puncturing the silence. He gently lifted his head to stare into Keith’s eyes, which were focused on him with a deep sadness that Lance had never seen from Keith before. Those fierce eyes, always burning with life, so subdued and apologetic. Lance’s heart clenched painfully, confused and excited all at once.

Keith leaned in deliberately, twisting himself so his knees were in the couch. He pressed his lips against Lance’s, feather light in their touch, hardly there. Lance’s eyes fluttered shut, reveling in the feeling of Keith’s lips, Keith’s hand, Keith’s breath, Keith’s gaze, everything that Keith had to offer. His heart inflated, bubbling over with so much love and affection, wanting more, needing more. Everything he had ever wanted, and he had it all in his grasp.

Their lips moved against each other, languid and sloppy. It didn’t have to be good anyways, Lance didn’t care, it was Keith and that was all that mattered. Lance couldn’t help it as he smiled into the kiss, puffing out a small laugh from his nose. A light pink dusted over his cheeks, his skin so warm under the attention of Keith’s love.

As they both pulled away a little bit to catch their breath, Lance continued to grin, opening his eyes slowly. As soon as he saw Keith, however, his smile immediately dropped off into a concerned frown.

Keith stared at him with tears welling up in his eyes, which were so pained and remorseful that Lance almost drew back completely. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, barely above a whisper.

“Keith–” Lance attempted to say.

“I’m so sorry,” Keith reiterated. His other hand, which hadn’t moved from its place on his stomach, suddenly came up to brush away Lance’s hair, stroking his cheek and jaw with such a gentle, loving touch that Lance couldn’t help but melt into it.

“Keith, it’s okay,” Lance whispered back, holding Keith’s gloved hand harder into his face. “Why’re you apologizing?” he tried to smile, hoping that he could illustrate to Keith that his feelings were returned.

Keith shook his head, pressing his forehead into Lance’s shoulder. “I didn’t realize how much I hurt you. All of you,” he mumbled, voice slightly obscured by Lance’s coat being in the way.

Lance gripped Keith’s hand tighter and stared down at the mess of black hair on his shoulder. Completely confused and worried, he leaned his cheek into Keith’s hair, whispering to him softly, “Keith, I know it’s a little bit soon, but I really do love you. You’re not hurting me.”

Keith turned his head slowly, causing Lance’s cheek to press into Keith’s cheek. He muttered his next words against Lance’s neck. It would have made Lance giggle, maybe pull Keith up into another kiss or fall back against the couch cushion, but it didn’t do any of those because the words were too haunting to make him feel anything but dread.

“I know. But we’ve run out of time.”

At that, Lance really did pull back. He pushed Keith away from his shoulder to look him directly in the eyes. Their hands were still connected in Lance’s lap but not at his cheek. Lance searched Keith’s eyes as they threatened to spill over with tears. “What’re you talking about?” His eyes shifted back and forth over Keith’s face, looking for anything that could give him even the barest hint of what Keith meant.

“I’m sorry I’ve never held your hand,” Keith desperately whispered, completely ignoring Lance’s question and squeezing their hands together. He quickly removed his hands from Lance’s, frantically pulling his gloves off to shove them at Lance. “It’s not the same, but if you ever want to hold my hand in the future…”

Staring startled between Keith’s face and the gift he had just been given, Lance couldn’t help the shakiness that numbed his body. “Keith, please. What is going on?” Lance brought his hand up to rest on Keith’s neck. He hoped it might calm Keith down, bring him back to his senses. There was a steady rise of panic in his chest as his heartrate increased. He shouldn’t have felt as cold as he did when Keith was so willing to be in his arms.

“I’m not Keith,” he whispered sadly.

Lance’s blood turned to ice, alarm bells ringing in his head and panic reaching full peak. “What…?” he weakly hissed, already starting to pull away from ‘Not’ Keith.

“I mean, I’m not _your_ Keith. You’re not _my_ Lance,” Keith frantically tried to explain.

Lance could feel the tears begin to well up in his eyes and he desperately wanted to yank his hands away from Keith, but Keith held on tight, staring at him with such urgency that it was impossible. “What the fuck are you saying?!” Lance all but yelled at Keith.

“Remember around ten months ago when we landed on that planet where that alien with no face electrocuted me?” he asked.

Lance thought back. He could remember that day vividly, like it was only moments ago. It was so clearly imprinted in his mind because that was the first real moment that Lance thought Keith was about to die. Suspended in the air, twitching and surging with yellow light, his eyes hollow and glowing, Keith had remained that way for only a few seconds, but it was enough to strike fear through Lance. And the moment it all ended and Keith’s body fell limp to the ground as the alien watched on, Lance had been sure that Keith had been killed.

But Keith had just got up, smiling, but with an obscure sadness in his gaze, and he had thanked the alien. Lance remembered everything about that encounter because of how weird and terrifying it was. He hadn’t thought about it again until this moment when Keith brought it up.

“Yeah, I remember that. Keith, why is this important?” Lance snapped, getting fed up with the panic that pulsed in his chest and the regretful look Keith gave him.

“When I was electrocuted, this is where I went, I was sent to the future by the alien,” Keith explained. “I was given the first seven quintants after my death to make things right… But I don’t know how. I don’t know how to make things right, Lance. It’s not enough time. If I go back, and I return to the exact moment I left, and I fix this, is ten months enough time?”

Lance felt sick. He couldn’t take everything in, it was all too much, too fast. There were so many things he could say, so many things he wanted to say, needed to say. Keith wasn’t supposed to die, they were supposed to be happy, they had been happy. Not even a couple days before, Keith had been smiling and laughing with Lance. They had slept in the same bed together, this wasn’t right. It wasn’t supposed to end here.

“No, no, no, ten months isn’t enough, Keith. What the fuck? What the fuck, ten months could never be enough! Please!” It was fully starting to hit Lance just what the hell all of these things Keith was telling him really meant.

Keith had died.

Of course, Lance knew that. He had seen Keith’s dead body. He had _carried_ Keith’s dead body. There was absolutely no way to bring him back, Coran had told him that. When Keith came back, Lance hadn’t even questioned it. Why would he? Why would he look a gift horse in the mouth like that when it didn’t matter? He had Keith back and that was all that had mattered to him.

But it wasn’t Keith. It was, but it wasn’t. The Keith who had been there through everything, who could fight five bots at once, who could kick Lance’s ass without raising a finger, who listened to Great Balls of Fire, who shared the last ten months with Lance; he was dead.

This Keith wasn’t him. This Keith was younger, knew less of the world, knew less of war, hadn’t yet reached his full potential as a fighter, hadn’t yet accepted himself as a loved member of the team, hadn’t yet done any of the things or met any of the people they had in the last ten months.

“Lance…” Keith whispered.

Tears streamed down Lance’s face and he gripped Keith’s arms so hard that he would probably bruise them. _“No!_ Shut up! Shut up, shut up, this isn’t happening!” Lance bowed his head, shaking it back and forth.

“Lance, I’m so sorry,” Keith breathed. He pulled Lance into his warm embrace, but it didn’t comfort Lance like it should have, it only made his heart hurt more. “Your Keith is in one of the memory extractors. Just switch it on, and I’m there. I promise.”

Lance gripped Keith’s shirt in his hands, holding him as close as he could, begging with his heart for Keith to stay. He couldn't handle it. If Keith were to really die, he wouldn’t be okay. “No. It’s not– I haven’t–” he stuttered.

Keith ignored him. “I didn’t mean for everything to happen like this. But you’ll be okay. Don’t forget that you have a life to live too, okay?” Keith rubbed his back, but Lance just cried harder.

“Keith, please. _Please,_ don’t,” Lance sobbed.

“I’ve been happy. You’ve made me happy. You’ve always made me happy.” Keith chuckled into Lance’s hair, “Well, you do really irritate me a lot too. You’re kind of a jackass most of the time. But still, I’ve always been happy with you. And before I left, I just really needed you to know how much I’ve always loved you. Don’t ever forget that. You mean the goddamn world to me, Lance,” he whispered, so close to Lance’s ear.

Lance dug his nails into Keith’s skin through the shirt. He pushed his face farther and farther into Keith’s shoulder, hanging on, forcing Keith to stay. Tears cascaded from his eyes, washing his cheeks in sorrow. Inside his chest, his heart felt as though it were breaking into a thousand pieces, excruciating pain throbbing through him. “I can’t– I can’t do it, please,” he cried, pushing every meaning into the words.

“Make sure Pidge knows it’s not her fault. Actually, don’t let anyone blame themselves. You especially, because I know you will. You’re a selfless idiot like that,” Keith mumbled, still holding Lance as tightly as ever. “Thank you for everything.”

Lance tried to say something, anything that would make everything go back to the way it was, but he couldn’t make his throat work. A strangled noise escaped his mouth, desperate and panicked. He wasn’t ready.

“Hey, Lance?” Keith pulled back from him to stare him directly in the eyes with a steady, saddened gaze. “I guess this makes you the best pilot on the team now,” he chuckled, teasing, yet proud and content.

Lance surged forward, ready to tell Keith that he was an idiot and that that wasn’t funny, but instead, he fell onto the couch. There were no arms to catch him, no chest to fall into, no soothing words to console him. There was nothing. Lance pushed himself up from the cushion, searching around frantically, but there was no one. All he found were two tattered fingerless gloves still in his lap.

And he screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Lance likes his gift :)


	8. Ten Months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to say that this chapter is significantly longer than any of the others and that's because there was nowhere I could cut it without ruining the flow or making one more really really short chapter. So, double the usual amount of content, you're welcome.
> 
> Second, thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story. I really am grateful, especially since I put a lot of effort into this story. I happened to end up writing this chapter around the same time as the anniversary of the death of one of my loved ones, so it was actually a little hard to write this. Too real, y'know? So, thank you for the kind words on my work, I appreciate it so much.
> 
> Happy reading!

Nobody took the news well. Lance had even struggled to deliver the news at all through his wailing.

Pidge had dropped where she was, shaking her head, unable to hear anything over the ringing in her ears. Shiro had just stared at Lance, not speaking, not blinking, not breathing. Hunk had instantly started sobbing, yanking Lance into a crushing hug as they cried together. Allura had taken a steadying seat on one of the lounge couches with her hand over her mouth, eyes wide and unseeing. Coran had closed his eyes, clenched them shut and bowed his head as his chest visibly constricted.

Lance was forced to retell everything that Keith had told him. It burned, to hear the words so loud and clear out of his own mouth, absolute and certain, it burned like fire. Like the fire that was Keith.

When Lance explained the mission with the faceless alien who had electrocuted Keith, Coran had whispered into his hands, “I should have known… I should have…” He broke off with a steadying breath. And Lance couldn’t help sharing the sentiment.

When Lance detailed the short amount of time Keith had been given, Hunk had buried his devastated expression into Lance’s shoulder and hissed, “I knew it was too good to be true…” And Lance patted the back of his head, understanding exactly how Hunk felt.

When Lance informed them of the memory machine, where Keith’s body was, Allura had released a clipped sob and murmured to herself, “Do all red paladins end up there…?” And Lance’s throat closed on any words he could have said.

When Lance reiterated how Keith wanted them all to move on, Shiro had stared at Lance with such deep-seated grief and whispered, “How?” And Lance didn’t have an answer.

When Lance mentioned that Keith had told him it wasn’t Pidge’s fault, Pidge broke down into loud, unrelenting sobs which tore at her chest and scraped at her throat as she curled into the floor. And Lance didn’t move.

No one moved, not for a long time.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

The day had gone by like molasses, almost in slow motion. Every second had felt like an hour, and every hour had felt like a lifetime.

Pidge had screamed, cried, and pounded her fists into the floor until it all became too much, she became too exhausted, and she had fallen asleep right there on the floor.

Shiro had muttered something about putting her to bed before picking her up with delicate hands, staring down at her as though she were all he had left, and taking her back to her room. Tears had already begun to fall from his eyes as he rounded the corner to the hallway. Neither of them were seen for the rest of that day.

Hunk had sobbed into Lance’s shoulder, offering him support even as he, himself, fell apart. Lance had appreciated it, but he would have appreciated it more if there wasn’t a need for it in the first place.

Coran had mumbled about needing to check the system alarms before leaving with his head down. Lance was sure that if he were to head to the control room at any time, he wouldn’t find Coran. He wasn’t seen for the rest of the day either.

Allura hadn’t even made an excuse, she had just stood with a face of angry tears and immediately headed out.

Lance sat there for hours. He didn’t move. He hardly breathed. All he could do was stare off into space as the tears flowed. He didn’t sob or scream, not like he had the night before, he just stared and cried.

Eventually, Lance worked up the energy to move. Every part of him felt suspended from reality, like he wasn’t there at all. Every movement felt painful and difficult, as though it took every bit of his strength just to try, his limbs like cement.

He pulled Hunk up with him, the poor boy looking as unraveled and broken as Lance was sure he looked as well. They didn’t speak to each other, they just walked back to their separate rooms in complete silence. Neither of them said anything when they reached their doors, either. They didn’t wave or tell the other they were there, they just opened their doors and went inside.

Lance had the added pain of having to walk by Keith’s room to reach his. It was empty, the room. If he yelled in his own room, no one would knock on the door to tell him to shut up. If he knocked on the door to the room, no one would call him in. If he opened the door to the room, there would be nothing to identify it as even having been lived in. Lance was positive that if any of them had to clean out Keith’s belongings, they would have broken down, so in a sick and excruciating kind of way, it was almost a blessing that Keith didn’t own anything.

Lance entered his room numbly. He didn’t hear it as it closed behind him, he didn’t hear his footsteps as they wandered through the hazy silence to the bed, he didn’t hear it as he landed hard on the bed. His ears were ringing. They were ringing with Pidge’s screams, with his own sobs, with Keith’s final words.

His jacket was uncomfortable to lay in. It was fuzzy and warm on the inside, but when he glanced down at it, all he felt was ice seeping into his heart and closing his throat. Without his consent, Lance’s thoughts immediately pictured Keith at the market, bundled up in his coat, eating carbonated ice cream with a blue swirly straw for a hat.

With an angry heaviness in his heart, Lance sat up enough to rip the jacket from his body and whip it across the room with a yell. It landed on the other end of the room, knocking into the floating light that Pidge had created, that Keith had left in his room, inadvertently turning it on. Soothing colours painted the darkness of the ceiling, but all Lance could do was squeeze his eyes shut, curl into himself, and sob.

He didn’t remember falling asleep.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Lance woke up later. And Keith wasn’t there.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lance had been hoping it was all a sick dream, that Keith didn’t leave, but as he laid in bed and stared up at the colour changing ceiling, he realized that Keith coming back at all was the dream.

He laid there for a long time, getting lost in the waves of deep colour. And maybe his lip trembled a little when it passed through red. And maybe he didn’t move or look away from the ceiling just so that he could pretend that Keith was in bed next to him again. And maybe he stayed that way for hours.

But it changed nothing. And not for the first time, Lance wished he was the one with the time traveling abilities.

He didn’t get up. No one came to his door. No one even wandered by his door. He didn’t expect them too though. Everyone was probably in their rooms, doing the exact same thing Lance was doing.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Days blended into each other. Nothing made sense, nothing mattered, nothing was distinct or concrete. Everything melded together and became one entity. Lance couldn’t tell whether he had been there for a couple seconds or a couple days. He couldn’t tell if he was sleeping or awake, or even somewhere in between.

Every day was the same as the last. Lance would sit in silence. He wouldn’t eat, he would just lay there in bed. Sometimes, he would get up to use the bathroom or to get a drink of water, but he never left his room. At some point, he had managed to convince himself that if he went down to the training room, he’d find Mullet, training his ass off and probably working himself too hard. He never went to check though.

He had stopped crying a long time ago. There were just no more tears for him to shed. His entire pillow already held everything he had cried and there was nothing left. The constant crying had made him feel dizzy and gave him a headache. It was still better than the debilitating numbness he felt when he wasn’t crying. As long as he didn’t remind himself of Keith in any way, he would at least be able to function enough to keep himself alive.

The others were up. They had managed to get themselves out of bed. He wasn’t too sure who it was or where they were going since he could only ever hear their dragging footsteps pass his door, but he didn’t bother to open the door to find out either. Eventually, Hunk had taken to coming around and checking on him. Lance never opened the door for that either.

As long as he was still in his room, time stopped. But Hunk was persistent. He would leave food for Lance and talk to him through the door. It hurt to even hear Hunk speak, his voice was so broken and his throat was so torn to shreds from crying. Lance’s eyes welled up every time he heard it.

But he never opened the door.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Lance knew he had to get up and leave his room eventually. He knew he had to function again eventually. He knew he had to move on eventually, just like Keith had told him he would. But Lance really didn’t want to. Of course, he had to rejoin Voltron at some point, fight for the universe again, be the sharpshooter he was meant to be, but he couldn’t even make himself care about any of it.

Still, Keith’s voice rang in his ears, as it had been for the past few days;

_I didn’t mean for everything to happen like this. But you’ll be okay. Don’t forget that you have a life to live too, okay?_

For the first time since Keith had left for good, Lance smiled. It was painful and wobbly. Lance, who smiled all the time, couldn’t figure out how to make it natural as his lips quirked up. He just laid there in bed with a distorted grin on his face and tears bubbling from his eyes, because Keith was right, he would be okay. He didn’t want to be okay without Keith, but he would be.

So, Lance sat up in the darkness, scrubbed his face once, and forced his heavy limbs to move. Lance did something then which he hadn’t done in days; Lance left his room.

He wandered the halls, body like a cinderblock, until he made it to the kitchen.

Allura was there, at the table, her eyes glazed over and rimmed with red as she stared off at some indiscernible point on the wall. Her hair was a rat’s nest of tangles, splayed out around her haphazardly and stringy. Lance didn’t imagine that she would have showered in the last couple of days since he hadn’t either. She didn’t wear her dress like she usually did. A long, purple nightgown covered her body in a way that made her look so small and frail in that moment. There was a bowl of food goo in front of her, barely touched, but she held a spoon of the stuff up to her mouth. She was really just rubbing it over her lips absentmindedly instead of eating it.

Lance sat down across from her, not even bothering to pretend like he had come there to eat. She stared straight through him for a moment before her eyes slowly focused. Lowering the spoon and sitting up a little bit more, Allura smiled at him. Lance had never seen Allura so shattered.

“Lance,” she muttered, although her voice echoed in the silence. “Good evening.”

“Is it evening already?” Lance hadn’t spoken until then and was completely unprepared for the way the words skinned his throat as they forced their way out.

Allura glanced back to her bowl of goo, pushing it around with her spoon a little bit. “I’m not sure,” she admitted quietly.

They sat in silence for some time, neither knowing what to say, neither wanting to speak even if they did know what to say. Usually, Lance would drum his fingers on the table and glance around the room when there was nothing to say, but not this time. He just stared at his hand, as though he were willing it to move, to drum, to bring back some sense of normalcy.

Allura cleared her throat, drawing Lance’s attention. “Have you eaten yet?” she asked.

Lance gradually shook his head, “Not hungry…”

“You should try,” Allura nodded, still staring into her food, “or at least, don’t retire to your room for awhile.”

Lance knew she was just making sure he was alright, but he really wasn’t sure he could do anything but hide in his room again. He didn’t respond. They sat there in silence some more, staring off into the middle distance past each other’s shoulders. Allura picked at her food goo a little bit, managing to choke down half of it with a grimace before cleaning the rest up.

On her way out, Allura grabbed Lance’s hand, which was still on the table. She squeezed it and stared him in the eye. Lance tried his best to meet her gaze too, but the emotion spilling over was almost too much. Still, he didn’t look away.

“We’re here for each other, you don’t need to go through this alone,” she told him, her voice firmer than it had been before. Then, with a nod, she released his hand and left the room.

Lance stayed there. He didn’t go back to his room. He didn’t eat, either. Lance just sat there, listening to the deafening silence of the dining hall and doing everything in his power not to look at the seat next to him; empty, as it would remain.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

One morning, Lance actually showered. He hadn’t wanted to and he hadn’t planned on it, but somehow, he had convinced himself that he could do it. So, Lance had pulled himself out of bed, stripped, and stepped into the pouring chill of the water without even bothering to wait for the temperature to change. It was freezing and Lance nearly leaped out before he had even fully stepped in. He didn’t though. He just forced himself under the water and let the water wash away all his worries. It was renewing and it cleared his lungs, making it easier to breathe.

Somewhere in the back of Lance’s mind, he was reminded of the time he had gone to the training deck to tell Keith that dinner was ready. He also threw in a teasing comment about how Keith smelled awful and should probably have a shower before coming to the dinner table lest he accidentally knock everyone out with his stench. That had resulted in Keith chasing Lance around the training deck with the pretense of giving him a ‘friendly teammate hug,’ which Lance knew was code for Keith shoving his armpits in Lance’s personal space while he squealed in fear.

Those memories were good. He laughed wholeheartedly at the memory. He also let himself believe that the droplets on his face were completely because of the stream of water and that the tremble of his lip was because it was so cold.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Lance had made it a personal mission to leave his room every day. It was difficult and it was painful, but he knew that if he didn’t get up at least once a day, he may never get up again. Every morning still hurt, every time he would wake up and remember that Keith wasn’t there anymore, it never got easier and it always hurt. So, he did what he always did in the face of emotional pain and he smiled. Lance would lay in bed and he would force himself to smile.

The light that Pidge had made was still on the counter. Sometimes, he would turn it on before bed so that it would be on when he woke up. It reminded him of the night that Keith had died, but he still kept it. Every morning, even through the pain, Lance would stare at it until it had made one complete cycle of colours, calming his breathing the entire time, then he would smile and whisper, “Good morning, Keith.”

There wasn’t ever a response, but Lance liked to imagine that Keith was answering, wherever he was.

_“Morning? Lance, it's the middle of the afternoon, you slept through the morning. Classic."_

And that really did make it a little bit easier.

Lance forced himself to sit up, slowly but surely. He forced himself to breathe deeply and to plant his feet on the floor. He forced himself up off the bed. He forced himself to walk to the door. Even though he forced himself again this day, it was easier than the day before.

As Lance was about to leave his room, he glanced back at the light. He had been thinking about it for awhile; it really wasn’t his. Pidge had made it for Keith and Keith had never explicitly given it to him, so it didn’t belong to him. He sighed, knowing that he had to return it to Pidge, even though it had become a form of comfort to him in the same way it had been meant to do for Keith.

He stepped over to the light, grabbing it quickly before leaving his room again. It had to be returned to Pidge. Lance hadn’t spoken to Pidge in awhile. In fact, the idea of Pidge felt strangely far away ever since the death of Keith. Everything and everyone felt distant though. Lance realized that he had to reconnect with everyone else. It wasn’t healthy to distance himself. Especially because he was Lance and he was a very social person.

So, Lance ventured out into the castle ship with the light in hand, hoping that he would be able to find Pidge somewhere. He checked her room first since it was the closest, but she wasn’t there. That was good. At least she wasn’t holing herself up. He checked the kitchen and the main control room, even shouting up at Green to be sure she wasn’t in there either. Eventually, Lance found her curled up in the dimly lit corner of one of the lounge couches with her computer in her lap as she tapped away.

When he did find her, he had to do a double take and his breath had caught in his throat. Covering her back and arms loosely was the red and white leather of Keith’s jacket. It looked a little bit too big on her and she didn’t have it zipped up, or else she would really be swimming in it, but somehow, it almost suited her.

Lance swallowed before entering the lounge fully and approaching her. He sat down on the cushion next to her carefully, watching as she jumped at his arrival. She turned to look at him, and Lance could fully see how red and drained her eyes were. Her hair was wilder than he had ever seen it and the bags in her skin seemed so deep that they may never come out. But she smiled when she saw him. It was small, uncertain, and tentative, but she smiled.

“Hey, Lance,” she muttered, her voice weak and frail from disuse on top of crying.

Lance nodded, “Hey.” His eyes drifted back to the familiar jacket covering Pidge. How many times had Lance looked at that stupid thing and thought about how impractical it was? And there he was, so glad that Keith never actually got rid of it. “Why’re you…?” he started, gesturing vaguely to the coat when he couldn’t find the right words.

Pidge glanced down, understanding what Lance meant as soon as she was reminded she was wearing Keith’s jacket. “Oh, he gave it to me,” she answered, her voice a little harder than before. She bit her lip and stared at a scuff mark on the sleeve.

Lance’s heart clenched for a moment, realizing that Keith had left something for him and Pidge, and he had probably left something for everyone else as well. It was just further proof that Keith had known he couldn’t stay. Lance huffed a laugh as best he could, “Well, at least you didn’t get his sweaty gloves.” Lance would give an arm and a leg to have those gloves and his tears weren’t fooling anyone.

Pidge chuckled lightly next to him, her eyes closing momentarily. When she looked back up at him, there was a glimmer of bittersweet amusement there. “I don’t think he ever washed those things, so good luck,” she jested, leaning over to knock her leather-clad shoulder into Lance’s.

“Ugh, no kidding,” Lance playfully rolled his eyes, letting the comfortable conversation nestle right in amongst the hurt within his heart. “Hey, Pidge?” he drew her attention in again, this time moving the light out so she could see it. Her eyes widened. “Sorry I forgot to give it back sooner…” he defended weakly.

Pidge quickly looked away, almost as though it pained her to even see the light. She shook her head frantically, still staring at some far off distant point with a muted look of distraught, tears bubbling up from her eyes. “No, no. You can keep it, I don’t want it,” she pleaded.

Lance hesitated, “But–”

“Please, I don’t want it…” she repeated, softer.

Pulling the light in behind his back and out of view, Lance conceded, “Alright. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you…”

“It’s fine…” Pidge turned to meet his eye, a brightness in her face that wasn’t there before. “I’m fine.”

Lance nodded slowly, “Yeah…”

They sat there in silence, the only noise being the sound of Pidge’s keyboard clicking, neither of them feeling the need to speak. It was almost therapeutic to be in the presence of someone else who knew what he was going through and to just exist in the same area together. He felt like he could breathe again.

He felt like he could live again, in time.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Lance, in his many trips to leave his room and regain normalcy to his life, had run into pretty much everyone on the ship, and each day they looked better. None of them looked okay, but at least they were starting to take care of themselves again. There was still a significantly reduced amount of speaking amongst them all now that Keith was gone, which was odd since Keith was never one to speak a lot anyways.

It felt empty in the castle. When Keith had been alive and he wasn’t in a room, it wouldn’t have felt empty because he was probably training or eating or sleeping or something. Nothing to worry about. But now, every room that Keith wasn’t in felt empty. And it was because every room was a room that Keith wasn’t in.

Still, life in the castle slowly came back. It wasn’t quick, it wasn’t efficient, it wasn’t even hardly noticeable, but slowly, everyone was relearning how to smile.

And, for the first time since the incident, they all sat at the table together for breakfast. They all still looked like shit, they all still had moments where they needed to take a moment to calm themselves, but they were all there, together, as a family. Lance smiled in the same broken, weak, easily-ruined way that he had been as of late, except it was stronger now.

Allura looked much better than when Lance had first run into her on his way to the kitchen all that time ago. There was light in her eyes and care put into her appearance once again. She informed them all that she would be joining them for training more often as the new red paladin. No one was ready to think about who would replace Keith, but she explained that that was what Keith had planned for. Yet another gift that meant so much more once he was gone. Lance couldn’t help but think that she would make a good paladin, even as the thought stung.

Shiro, who was the closest with Keith out of all of them, was still worse for wear. He frequently needed moments to take a heavy breath before letting it all out. There was something in his smile that was trying to convince everyone that he was alright and that he was the strong figure holding them all together in their time of grieving, but it was horribly obvious what kind of pain he was feeling just by his eyes. He wore a belt around his waist which Lance had never seen him wear before. The reason for that was probably because he had never had a Marmora blade before. He tried to activate it with his Galra arm once, but it hadn’t worked.

Hunk, who had always been the sun itself, couldn’t look farther from it in the moment they sat at the table together. He was trying, that was obvious, but he was in pain just like the rest of them and it really just took too much out of Hunk to fake his emotions, it always had. His cheeks were tear-stained and his hands were a little shaky, but he still smiled and joined in on the conversation as best he could. And if his hands sometimes unconsciously slipped up to smooth out the fabric of the red bandana he wore around his neck, then no one mentioned anything.

Pidge still wore her jacket, rucking up the sleeves to her elbows while she ate so that food wouldn’t get all over the cuffs. As damaged as the jacket was, Pidge was taking care of it. Her hair was washed and her eyes weren’t nearly as red as they had been before, which was a good thing. Her smiles came easier and she stared at each and every person at the table as though she were studying them, committing them to memory.

Coran’s wrinkles seemed much more prominent when he wasn’t smiling, that was something that Lance had noticed. He was always smiling, and when he did, his wrinkles just illustrated how his face had always moulded to display a grinning face. When he didn’t smile, he looked sunken, worn out, and just plain exhausted. Which, Lance was sure he was, but it didn’t suit the energetic man. Seeing him at the table, although it was a little bit disturbing, was still an improvement. Coran had lost a lot in his life, he didn’t deserve to lose more. Coran also had something around his waist; Keith’s utility belt. He seemed extremely proud of it, and, much to Lance’s happiness, smiled at it often.

Lance knew that he had been given a gift too, and they were still in his room, even as he sat at the table, but he didn’t feel the desire to go get them. It wasn’t that he was lazy or inconsiderate, he just wasn’t sure he was ready. It hurt too much. There was still a gaping hole in his heart which throbbed and threatened tears every time he looked over at Keith’s empty chair and thought, ‘yup, everyone’s here…’

But all in all, breakfast was probably the most uplifting thing that had happened in a long time.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Lance stepped carefully through the castle hallways as silently as he could. His blue robe was pulled tight around him and his blue lion slippers were the only thing keeping him from feeling the cold metal of the castle floor against his feet. All the lights were off but he was carrying the floating, colour-changing light along with him anyway, so it wasn’t much of a problem. It bathed the walls in an eerie red as he meandered through the hallway. His feet dragged but his chest heaved.

As of late, all his dreams had been happy ones while real life was the nightmare. It had been awhile since the last time that he had had a nightmare, and it really didn’t help that it was the same one about Keith’s death this time. When Lance had first had the nightmare, Keith had been there the next morning to remind him why it was nothing more than a nightmare, but this time, Lance had woken up in a cold sweat, panting and screaming, all alone in a room bathed with green light. And it had been too much.

Lance could have curled back up in bed and tried to comfort himself, he could have woken someone else up or just seen if someone else was already up, he could have gone to see Blue. But he didn’t. He didn’t do those things because he knew, this time, there was one very specific place he had to go.

His legs carried him steadily down the halls as he attempted to regain his composure. He knew a lot of deep breathing exercises and calming tips and tricks, but none of them were doing anything to help, not this time. Lance so desperately, so _urgently_ , needed to see Keith. It was a need at that point.

The door to the bridge quickly came into view and Lance sighed in relief, although it wavered. He clutched the light tighter, pulling it close to his chest as he opened the doors. Everything was silent and dark, Lance being the only source of sound and the calming yellow radiating from his light being the only source for visibility. Cautiously, Lance stepped into the room. His feet echoed along behind him, making the room seem bigger than it already did in the day. The door swished shut behind him and he jumped a little bit, but kept going.

Once he was in the centre of the room, Lance took a deep breath and settled down into a cross-legged position on the floor with the light sat in front of him. The brilliant blue, which cascaded over his face, offered him a steady calming feeling and he breathed a little deeper. He had been avoiding this room for awhile. Everyone else had been utilizing it, but Lance just couldn’t bring himself to enter. It would only hurt him, he was convinced of that. But this time was different; he needed this.

Slowly, and with shaking hands, Lance reached into a pocket of his robe, gingerly pulling his phone out. He unlocked it carefully, his heart beating and his body feeling heavy as he did. The nightmare was stuck in the forefront of his mind as he scrolled through his touchscreen apps until he came upon the one he was looking for. He tapped on it, a shaky breath spilling out of him. The black leather of the fingerless gloves on his hands was painted with the purple light in front of him and he tried his best to ignore it.

The app opened, displaying the pictures that Lance wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to see. Keith, in his ridiculous swirly straw hat, pressed up against Lance with the biggest grin on his face. His violet eyes shining and happy. Lance could almost feel the hair tickling his chin and it took everything he had not to cry.

He flicked to the next photo, the blurry one where it couldn’t be said what was going on. Lance was laughing in the photo, half out of frame. Keith was also laughing, his head thrown back and the most incredible crinkle to his eyes. He was half out of frame too. Lance wasn’t going to delete it though. His heart ached. It ached so bad and he didn’t know what to do. Hopelessness just cascaded over him in waves and he wanted to fix it all but he couldn’t, there was nothing to be done, and it hurt.

Before he could flip to the next photo to reminisce some more, the tapping of boots sounded behind him, slowly approaching. Lance had been waiting for this, dreading it and hoping for it at the same time. It was the reason he had come to the bridge in the first place, but now, he wasn’t sure he could even stomach it.

The person’s footsteps grew closer until they stopped right next to Lance, but he didn’t look up. They grunted as they settled down next to him with their legs tucked under them. Lance swallowed, unable to meet their gaze.

“You knew what was going to happen, didn’t you?” Lance whispered, still staring down at his phone where the blurry photo continued to take up the entire screen.

“Yeah,” came the reply. Lance resisted the urge to flinch at the voice and he gradually turned his face up.

His eyes were still fiery and intense, a little dulled and fuzzy, but no less stunning. His hair still framed his face as perfectly as it always had, splaying out in the back at his neck and shielding his face where his bangs fell. His small, soft smile was still just as invigorating and gorgeous as always, never ceasing to make Lance’s heart stutter before speeding up. His easy posture and tilt of his head casual, as though the situation wasn’t tearing Lance to shreds from the inside out.

The same red and white leather jacket that had been given to Pidge was slipped onto him. He still wore the same grey shirt and tight, black pants as he always did. His utility belt and Marmora blade were still in place, hardly touched. His hands were still covered by the same black gloves which Lance was currently wearing.

Even in hologram form, Keith was breathtaking.

“Why didn’t you do anything to stop it…?” Lance whispered, tears already beginning to spill the second he met Keith’s eye.

Keith shrugged, a tired and content quirk to his lips, “I forgot, I guess.”

Lance scoffed, wet and broken, “Bullshit.” Another tear rolled down his cheek. “Why didn’t you just tell us?”

“It would have changed the entire situation too drastically, I couldn’t risk it,” Keith explained easily, never looking away from Lance’s heartbroken and devastated face.

Lance swallowed heavily, fighting with himself to hold back the tears. “I just…” he didn’t finish his thought, instead letting his gaze drop to where Keith’s hand rested directly next to Lance’s, almost touching, almost giving the illusion that they could possibly touch at all. If it weren’t for the slight blue glow around Keith’s body, Lance could almost convince himself that this wasn’t so bad.

He inched his hand a little closer, begging the universe to let himself feel just a ghost of warmth along his pinkie, but all that happened when his hand got close enough was him phasing through, unable to touch Keith. He closed his eyes, willing the throbbing pain in his chest to yield, to let him stop hurting, but it wouldn’t, it was all just too much. More tears slipped down his face.

Keith, who had noticed Lance’s attempts to hold his hand, quickly changed demeanors, shifting into one of comfort and protection. He leaned closer to Lance, whispering softly to him, “Hey, hey, wait. You wanna hold my hand? Here,” Keith pointed to one of Lance’s hands where Keith’s old gloves were still strapped on, ill-fitting and worn, “take that glove off.”

Lance sniffled a little bit, staring hard into Keith’s trustworthy and understanding gaze, not wanting to get his hopes up too high but still following directions. He carefully placed his phone on the floor and pulled back the strap of the glove, slipping it off his hand. It dropped to his lap as he glanced up to Keith on what to do next.

“Now clasp your hands together, like this,” Keith instructed, demonstrating with his own gloved hands as he weaved his fingers between each other.

Lance copied, feeling the rough leather against the palm of his bare hand.

“Okay, you gotta use your imagination a little bit here,” Keith carefully told him, “but we’re holding hands.”

Lance couldn’t help it then, he sobbed. A harsh, wet, noise which escaped his throat as he stared directly at Keith, feeling the cold leather offering no comfort. He tried his best to pretend it was Keith’s hand, but that only made him cry harder. His head and hands dropped, his entire body shaking with the sobs that wracked him. He could hardly breathe from how much it hurt, knowing that even hologram Keith couldn’t help him.

“I miss you so much…” Lance whined, low and desperate.

“I know,” Keith replied sadly.

Lance stayed there for a long time but he never unclasped his hands.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

Keith opened his eyes. There was no Lance, no castle ship. He was no longer in the lounge with a crying boy wrapped up in his arms. Where there were tears in his eyes, there was nothing, only confusion and disorientation. He was wearing his paladin armour, the same he had been wearing when they first landed on this planet and when he had first been sent to the future.

All around him, everything was a solid black, there was no end to it, no beginning, just never-ending darkness. It reminded him of space, although, space at least had something, wherever he was in that moment, it had nothing, it was nothing. He couldn’t tell if he was looking up, down, left, right, wherever, it all just blurred together.

“How was it? Enlightening? Eye-opening?” a calm and distant voice asked.

Keith whipped around, recognizing the voice. He hadn’t heard it in a week, hadn’t seen the source in a week, but he instantly remembered what was happening the second he saw her. Standing behind him, frail and stick-thin as ever, was the witch who had sent him to the future in the first place. She was yellow in colour, a dull, sickly yellow. The way her legs were positioned, bent behind her and springy when she walked, it reminded Keith of a kangaroo. Her snout gave a twitch, long pointed ears shifting around as though they had a life of their own. A blank slate where a face should be. Keith didn’t have a chance to answer before she was speaking again.

“I’m sure it was of some value, no? Were your friends happy to see you? Probably. They really love you, I can tell.” She gave a laugh, “Hopefully you can tell, now, too.”

Keith squinted at her, “What?” His voice was stronger than it had been only moments earlier with Lance.

“You were a bit clueless. You seemed to believe that you were unloved, which clearly isn’t the case.”

Keith thought that over for a moment, remembering all the time he had spent with every member of the team, what they had all said.

 

_You’re important to us, Keith! Who cares about Voltron or the lions?!_

_Everyone cares about you, so you don’t need to worry so much._

_You’re alive, I can’t believe you’re alive._

_I know we’ve had our differences in the past and I know that we haven’t always gotten along, but I do care about you, Keith._

_You took quite the hit, but I’m glad you’re back to your healthy self!_

_Nobody thinks you’re troublesome. I’m just so glad you’re alive, Keith._

 

And he realized for the first time that he had a family with these people, they weren’t just keeping him around because they needed a pilot for the red lion, they genuinely cared about him, genuinely loved him. It was a lot to take in. How many times had Keith been left behind on Earth, abandoned by those he came to love and trust? This wasn’t the same; they loved him, they always had.

Keith’s heart constricted, almost painful in how happy the realization was. He smiled, a real smile, so big and bright, unrestricted in the way it stretched his face. A laugh escaped him, although it was more a huff of air than anything.

“Well?” the witch tilted her head.

“Thank you,” Keith breathed, a little shaky as he directed his smile at her.

Although she had no smile, Keith could feel her warm intent radiating through her body language. “You’re more than welcome, Red Paladin.” She brightened then, interrupting the gooey moment. “So, are you going to change the future?”

Keith’s smile dimmed a little and his eyes-widened, “Can I?”

“Well, not really. The future you saw will always be there, but if you go back to your friends now and work towards something different, then you’ll be creating a new timeline. It won’t be the first new timeline you’ve created. Other versions of yourself from many different timelines have all played around with their futures. You wouldn’t be the first, and you won’t be the last,” she informed him. “But don’t worry about what other versions of you are doing, do what feels right for your timeline.”

Keith swallowed thickly. It was a lot to take in that this wasn’t his first time meeting this witch, and also that it wouldn’t be his last. He had the opportunity to change the outcome of this timeline; to change his death, to change everything leading up to his death. He had that power. Something still stuck in the back of his mind, however.

“Lance from that future, is he going to be okay?” he asked uncertainly.

The witch shrugged, “Depends on the timeline. I’ve seen timelines where he accidentally dies in battle, where he finds someone else to be happy with, where he can’t ever fall in love again, where he kills himself, but I’ve never seen a timeline where he stops loving you.”

Keith took in a heavy breath, his chest radiating a longing pain, as though he wanted to comfort Lance, all Lance’s, from all timelines. “What about the timeline I just came from?” he asked.

“Can’t tell you that, Red Paladin. You had your seven quintants to determine his future, the rest is in his hands,” she answered. “Now, I think it’s time you go decide your own future, in this new timeline. Your friends are waiting for you.”

Keith didn’t have any time to answer before the entire empty darkness was gone and he was opening his eyes once more. He tumbled, falling to the ground. His body felt like it was tingly with energy, with new life. The witch was in front of him, an encouraging aura about her. It was infectious. “Thank you,” he repeated, standing to face her. She nodded before she disappeared entirely.

“Keith!” a desperate cry pulled him swiftly back into reality.

“Lance,” Keith responded, turning to greet the boy. He was back in his own time, he was still alive, he had a chance to change everything. And there was Lance, looking more beautiful than he ever had, even sweaty and tear-stained, he was still stunning. Keith suddenly remembered that he had been electrocuted for the time travel to work, which explained the worried faces of his teammates as they rushed towards him.

Lance crashed into him, gripping Keith’s face between his two gloved hands as he inspected for injuries. “Keith, holy shit, are you okay? Are you hurt? What did it do to you? C’mon, you need a healing pod,” he rambled, petting Keith as though he were a small child.

Keith couldn’t bring himself to be angry, even as his teammates crowded around him. “I’m fine,” Keith smiled.

“Oh, quiznack. You guys, that witch fried his brain!” Hunk exclaimed, fear in his eyes.

“No, she didn’t. I’m _fine!”_ Keith reiterated.

Pidge tugged on his arm, effectively bringing his attention down to her. “Nope, Hunk’s right. Look, right there, Keith is _smiling!”_

Keith laughed at that, so unbelievably happy to see Pidge without tears in her eyes once again.

“Laughing now too? We probably _should_ get a healing pod…” Shiro frowned.

“Seriously, guys. I’m okay. I’m better than I have been in a long while.”

Shiro nodded, “If you’re sure…” Hunk furrowed his eyebrows and Pidge hummed, unconvinced. Lance just continued to hold his face, searching his eyes for a sign of deceit.

“I think we should all just go back to the castle and watch a movie, as a family…” Keith’s voice tapered off at the end, coming out only as a whisper.

There was a silence from everyone for a moment before Lance broke into a grin, “That’s a great idea! I second that!” he cheered, pumping a fist into the air.

Pidge agreed, “Movie night! Movie night!”

Through the coms of their helmets, Keith could hear Coran laugh and Allura respond with, _“I’m sure that can be arranged. As long as you’re okay, Keith.”_

“If Keith is suggesting a movie night, then you know its been a rough mission,” Hunk laughed, slapping Keith on the back good naturedly.

They all turned to head back to their lions, Pidge and Hunk hopping around excitedly and Shiro just shaking his head at them. Lance stayed back, lingering next to Keith as they strolled back.

“I was really scared there for a second, but I think getting electrocuted made you nicer,” Lance joshed, lightly jabbing an elbow into Keith’s ribs.

“Shut up,” Keith laughed, “it was just a different experience.”

“I see that and I’m _shocked,”_ Lance grinned, shooting finger guns over at Keith.

Keith knocked his shoulder into Lance’s, shaking his head as he did, “That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

 _“Watt_ are you saying, Keith?” Lance giggled. _“Wire_ you being so mean now? All these puns, just for you, free of _charge!”_

Keith snorted, trying his best to keep the wide grin off his face, but failing, “I can’t associate with you anymore, these are just too terrible.”

“How will we form _Volt_ -ron now?” Lance snickered.

Keith shoved him, laughing harder as Lance nearly fell into a nearby bush. He stumbled back into Keith, laughing along with him. They made eye contact, just staring and giggling together without actually saying anything. Keith wouldn’t have noticed it before, but after meeting Lance from the future, he could clearly see the love and adoration dripping from Lance’s face as he stared at Keith, still hiccupping laughter. It surged warmth through Keith’s veins, pumping his heart faster.

“Lance,” Keith said softly, “is ten months enough?”

_No, no, no, ten months isn’t enough, Keith._

Lance stared at him, confused, “Ten months?” he smiled as he said it.

_What the fuck?_

“Is that enough time?” Keith whispered, moving closer to Lance. He knew Lance wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but he wasn’t going to elaborate.

_What the fuck, ten months could never be enough!_

“Ten months is, like, a lifetime, Keith!” Lance laughed. “Why?”

_Please!_

Keith smiled. Without thinking about it, Keith reached a hand up behind Lance’s neck and tugged him down. Their lips met, a bit roughly even, but neither minded. Lance was taken aback, but he quickly caught up, meeting Keith in stride. It wasn’t a desperate kiss, it was gentle and languid, everything that Keith had ever wanted to have. He could feel the love and the relief in the way Lance’s lips quivered and quirked into a smile. Keith hummed, pleased and content. There was time for this, not a lot, but there was time.

For now, Keith would let himself be drowned in Lance’s love, and he would make sure that, no matter what, Lance understood that he was Keith’s everything. Keith promised, then and there, as he pulled away to pepper Lance’s face with kisses, and as Lance laughed with disbelieving happiness, that Keith would spend the rest of his life with Lance.

 

◊ ◊ ◊

 

 _“Lance?”_ Shiro asked through the comms.

The boy in question responded, _“Yeah, I’m on my way!”_ Keith could hear shooting coming from his line.

Shiro’s voice rang through again. _“Everyone get to your lions and head back to the castle.”_

 _“On it!”_ Hunk affirmed.

“Keith and I are moving out now, I disconnected from the control system!” Pidge called into the comms. Keith watched as Pidge packed everything up, closing down programs and erasing all evidence that they’d been there. They were both ready to leave the control room. Keith placed his hand to the door scanner, watching as it opened.

There, on the other side of the door, were two Galra, towering over Keith and Pidge. They held guns, glaring at the paladins with such rage that Keith knew their intent was to kill. Keith’s instincts kicked in as one aimed for Pidge, all rational thought leaving him immediately. His eyes widened and he yelled out, “Pidge!” Keith activated his bayard, causing it to pierce one of the Galra as it elongated. Keith yanked it back out, panting and releasing a clipped grunt. The other shot at him, but he rolled into the hallway and out of the Galra’s line of fire, jumping to his feet as quickly as he was able.

“Keith, watch–!” Pidge went to say, but she didn’t finish. Keith could feel it, the sudden excruciating pain that shot through his neck right as his bayard connected with the other Galra. He could see the surprised look of pain on his opponent’s face. They both fell to the ground in heaps, all life leaving them both. Keith had one last hazy thought as he collided with the ground to a symphony of Pidge’s screaming;

_Has it been ten months already?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end to our story.  
> Hope you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun exploring Keith's relationship with the other team members, I felt it was something that needed to be written.  
> If I ever write anything as sad as this again, then it won't be for a long time, but maybe you'll consider checking out my other works, they're all Voltron.  
> With that being said, I'm working on another multi-chapter fic with mild angst. It's about halfway done right now and I'm estimating 55k words, so stay tuned!!  
> Aaaand yeah, that's it. Thanks!!

**Author's Note:**

> Lance and Keith; neck and neck?  
> More like  
> Lance and Keith; neck and no neck!  
> Amiright! Haha Ihatemyself
> 
> "What the absolute mother fuck you dumb bitch what the hell is this shit when are you writing the next chapter what the fuck is your problem is that even the real Keith like what"  
> -Actual quote from my wonderful beta upon reading this for the first time. And I agree.


End file.
